Provocation specialist Lydia Lunch is a singer and poet who's skilled at generating interesting mischief. She testifies, "My daily existence is a battlecade of extreme fluctuations where chaos clobbers apathy, which beats the s--- out of depression which follows irritability which slams into anger which eclipses ecstasy which slips through my fingers far too often." In the coming weeks, Cancerian, I recommend you adopt her melodramatic approach to living the intense life. APRIL FOOL! I lied. Please don't be like Lydia Lunch in the near future. On the contrary: Cultivate regal elegance, sovereign poise, and dynamic equanimity.

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Somewhere there's a treasure that has little value to anyone but you, and an intriguing secret that's meaningless to everyone except you, and a frontier that harbors a revelation only you would know how to exploit. Why not go in search of those things? For inspiration, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.