Playwright August Strindberg (1849–1912) was a maverick innovator who loved to experiment with plot and language. One of his stories takes place in a dream and the hero is the Christ-like daughter of a Vedic god. He once said that he felt "an immense need to become a savage and create a new world." Given your current astrological potentials, Aries, I suspect that might be an apt motto for you right now. APRIL FOOL! I half-lied. There's no need for you to become a savage. In fact, it's better if you don't. But the coming weeks will definitely be a good time to create a new world.

*

Grace emerges in the ebb and flow, not just the flow. The waning reveals a different blessing than the waxing. Where are you in the great cycle of your life? Could you use more guidance in figuring out the nuances of your mysterious story? For inspiration in figuring it all out, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

Who says all Tauruses are dependable, gentle, risk-avoidant, sensible, and reliable? Taurus author Mary MacLane (1861–1929), known as the "Wild Woman of Butte, Montana," authored shocking, scandalous books. In I Await the Devil's Coming, she testified, "I am not good. I am not virtuous. I am not generous. I am merely a creature of intense passionate feeling. I feel—everything. It is my genius. It burns me like fire." Can I convince you, Taurus, to make her your role model for the coming weeks? APRIL FOOL! I don't think you should be EXACTLY like MacLane. Please leave out the part about "I am not good. I am not virtuous. I am not generous," as well as the "I await the devil's coming" part. But yes, do be a creature of intensely passionate feeling. Let your feelings be your genius, burning in you like a fire.

*

Whether it's your time to gather your strength in the shadows or exude your lust for life in the sun, fresh power to transform yourself is on the way. Life always delivers the creative energy you need to change into the new thing you must become. You can count on it! So be alert for it. Be receptive to it. And for more help in understanding your fascinating destiny, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

Poet Emily Dickinson had a good sense of humor, so she was probably making a wry joke when she wrote, "The lovely flowers embarrass me. They make me regret I am not a bee." But who knows? Maybe Emily was being a bit sincere, too. In any case, I advise you to make a list of all the things you regret not being—all the qualities and assets you wish you had, but don't. It's a favorable time to wallow in remorse. APRIL FOOL! I was totally lying! In fact, I hope you will do the reverse: Engage in an orgy of self-appreciation, celebrating yourself for being exactly who you are.

*

You can learn to be lucky. It's not a mystical force you're born with, but a habit you can develop. How? For starters, be open to new experiences, trust your gut wisdom, expect good fortune, see the bright side of challenging events, and master the art of maximizing serendipitous opportunities. For more help in attuning yourself to life's blessings, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

Provocation specialist Lydia Lunch is a singer and poet who's skilled at generating interesting mischief. She testifies, "My daily existence is a battlecade of extreme fluctuations where chaos clobbers apathy, which beats the s--- out of depression which follows irritability which slams into anger which eclipses ecstasy which slips through my fingers far too often." In the coming weeks, Cancerian, I recommend you adopt her melodramatic approach to living the intense life. APRIL FOOL! I lied. Please don't be like Lydia Lunch in the near future. On the contrary: Cultivate regal elegance, sovereign poise, and dynamic equanimity.

*

Somewhere there's a treasure that has little value to anyone but you, and an intriguing secret that's meaningless to everyone except you, and a frontier that harbors a revelation only you would know how to exploit. Why not go in search of those things? For inspiration, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

In 1692, a Swedish man named Thiess of Kaltenbrun was put on trial for being a werewolf. He claimed to be a noble werewolf, however. He said he regularly went down to Hell to do holy combat against the Devil. I suggest you make him your inspirational role model in the coming weeks. Be as weird as you need to be in order to fight for what's good and right. APRIL FOOL! I half-lied. What I really meant to say was: Be as weird as you need to be, but without turning into a werewolf, zombie, vampire, goblin, or other supernatural monster.

*

When they say, "Be yourself," which self do they mean? Certainly not the self that wants to win every game and use up every resource and think of nobody's needs except your own.

So when they say, "Be yourself," which self are they referring to? Here’s what I think: It's the self that says "Thank you!" to the wild irises and the windy rain and the people who grow your food. It's the creator who's working to make the whole universe your home and sanctuary. It's the lover who longs to express your love of life everywhere you go.

For guidance, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

❝I want to hear raucous music, to brush against bodies, to drink fiery Benedictine," wrote author Anais Nin. "Beautiful women and handsome men arouse fierce desires in me. I want to dance. I want drugs. I want to know perverse people, to be intimate with them. I want to bite into life, and to be torn by it.❞ All that sounds like perfect counsel for you to consider right now, dear Virgo! APRIL FOOL! I lied. Nin's exuberant testimony might be an interesting perspective to flirt with—*if* the COVID-19 virus had been completely tamed. But it hasn't. So I must instead suggest that you find ways to express this lively, unruly energy in safe and sublimated ways.

*

Take inventory of the extent that "No" fills up your life. Notice how often you say or think: 1. "That's not right." 2. "I don't like that." 3. "I don't agree with that." 4. "They don't like me." 5. "I'm not very good." 6. "That should be different from what it is."

To be clear, I do think a certain amount of "NO!" is healthy. It can prevent people from violating your boundaries. It can steer you away from doing things you don't really want to do. But it's also crucial to your well-being that you have ready access to big supplies of the invigorating "YES!"

For help in retraining yourself to say "Yes!" at least 51% of the time, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

Here are affirmations that will serve you well in the coming days. 1. "I am willing to make mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them." 2. "I am grateful that I'm not as judgmental as all the shortsighted, self-righteous people." 3. "I assume full responsibility for my actions, except those that are someone else's fault." 4. "A good scapegoat is as welcome as a solution to the problem." APRIL FOOL! All the preceding affirmations are total bunk! Don't you dare use them. Use these instead: 1. "I enjoy taking responsibility for my actions." 2. "Rather than indulging in the reflex to blame, I turn my attention to fixing the problem." 3. "No one can make me feel something I don't want to feel." 4. "I'm free from believing in the images people have of me."

*

How's your crusade for personal freedom going? Are you making progress in liberating yourself from your unconscious obsessions, bad habits, and conditioned responses? Have you vowed to emancipate yourself from trivial wishes, unwarranted biases, and debilitating delusions?

I'm on your side! I'm trying to perform that magic in my own life! Maybe I can provide you with some assistance and inspiration in your campaign for greater personal freedom. If you'd like to get some of that good stuff, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

According to author Kahlil Gibran, "If we were all to sit in a circle and confess our sins, we would laugh at each other for lack of originality." But I challenge you Scorpios to refute that theory in the coming days. For the sake of your sanity and health, you need to commit highly original sins—the more, the better. APRIL FOOL! I lied. Save your novel, imaginative sinning for later. The truth is that now is an excellent time to explore the joyous and healthy practice of being *extremely* virtuous. Imitate author Susan Sontag: "My idolatry: I've lusted after goodness. Wanting it here, now, absolutely, increasingly."

*

Assume that your drive to experience pleasure isn't a barrier to your spiritual growth, but is in fact essential to it. Proceed on the hypothesis that cultivating joy can make you a more ethical and compassionate person. Imagine that feeling good has something important to teach you every day. For inspiration in practicing this approach, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

The coming months would be a great time to start your own university and then award yourself a PhD in Drugless Healing or Mathematical Reincarnation or Political Metaphysics—or any other subject you'd like to be considered an expert in. Hey, why not give yourself three PhDs and call yourself a Professor Emeritus? APRIL FOOL! I'm just joking. The coming months will indeed be an extremely favorable time to advance your education, but with real learning, not fake credentials.

*

"Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show." So begins Charles Dickens' novel David Copperfield. I'd like to inspire you to write -- and live! -- a story of your own that begins like that. For help, tune into your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

After his Nirvana bandmate Kurt Cobain committed suicide, Capricorn drummer Dave Grohl was depressed for months. To cheer himself up, he wrote and recorded an album's worth of songs, playing almost all the instruments himself: drums, lead guitar, rhythm guitar, bass, and vocals. I think you should try a similar spectacularly heroic solo task in the coming weeks. APRIL FOOL! I lied. Here's my true and actual advice: Now is a time when you should gather all the support and help and cooperation you can possibly garner for a beloved project.

*

I invite you to keep a running list of all the ways life delights you and helps you and energizes you. Describe everyday miracles you take for granted . . . the uncanny powers you possess . . . the small joys that occur so routinely you forget how much they mean to you . . . the steady flow of benefits bestowed on you by people you know and don't know. What works for you? What makes you feel at home in the world? For inspiration in this noble effort, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

Argentine poet Alejandra Pizarnik told her psychoanalyst León Ostrov that if she were going to steal something, it would be "the façade of a certain collapsed house in a little town called Fontenay-aux-Roses [near Paris]." What was so special about this façade? Its windows were made of "magical" lilac-colored glass that was "like a beautiful dream." In accordance with astrological omens, I invite you, too, to decide what marvel you would steal—and then go steal it! APRIL FOOL! I half-lied. Yes, definitely decide what you would steal—it's important to give your imagination permission to be outrageous—but don't actually steal it.

*

All of creation loves you very much. Even now, people you know and people you don't know are collaborating to make sure you have all you need to make your next smart move. But are you willing to start loving life back with an equal intensity? The adoration it offers you has not exactly been unrequited, but there is room for you to be more demonstrative. For help in cultivating this approach, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

I've never understood the appeal of singer-songwriter Morrissey, especially since he began endorsing bigoted far-right politicians. However, I want to recommend that you adopt the attitude he once expressed in a letter to a friend. "It was a terrible blow to hear that you actually worked," he wrote. "It’s so old-fashioned to work. I’d much rather lounge about the house all day looking fascinating." Be like that in the coming weeks, Pisces! APRIL FOOL! I lied. In fact, you'd be making a silly mistake to lie around the house looking fascinating. It's a highly favorable time for you to find ways to work harder and smarter.

*

How could you turn your challenges into opportunities? Is there a way to gain power and influence in situations that have confused or frustrated you up until now? Could you use some help in digging deeper, below the surface, to find truths that have eluded your understanding? For clues to mysteries like these, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.