PR executives at a beer company offered to pay me a lot of money if I would sneak a product placement ad into your horoscope. They asked me to pretend there was a viable astrological reason to recommend that you imbibe their product in abundance. But the truth is, the actual planetary omens suggest the opposite. You should not in fact be lounging around in a haze of intoxication. You should instead be working hard to drum up support for your labor of love or your favorite cause. Very Important People will be more available to you than usual, and you''ll be wise to seek their input. Halloween costume suggestion: the Ultimate Fundraiser; Networker of the Year; Chief Hobnobber.

*

BY THE WAY. Astrology is not a science. It''s an elegant system of symbols, an art form with a special capacity to feed your soul and educate your imagination. When used with integrity, it engenders poetic approaches for deepening your connection to life''s great mysteries, not predictions of literal events.

It''s meant to open your mind to the mythic patterns that underlie the surface-level interpretations of what you''re all about, not compete with scientists'' logical analyses of why things are the way they are.

ASTROLOGY IS NOT A SCIENCE! Nor is depth psychology, mythology, dream interpretation, or poetry. It makes as much sense to criticize astrology for not being scientific as it does to deride a Kandinsky painting because it isn''t the binomial theorem. We need both: the mytho-poetic and the logically analytical.

If you ever want more information and inspiration generated in this spirit -- beyond the horoscopes you''re reading here -- keep in mind that every week I also offer EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES for you. They''re four-to-five-minute meditations on the current state of your destiny.