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Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny


Week of March 8th, 2018

♑ CAPRICORN

(December 22-January 19)
If you saw the animated film The Lion King, you may have been impressed with the authenticity of the lions' roars and snarls. Did the producers place microphones in the vicinity of actual lions? No. Voice actor Frank Welker produced the sounds by growling and yelling into a metal garbage can. I propose this as a useful metaphor for you in the coming days. First, I hope it inspires you to generate a compelling and creative illusion of your own -- an illusion that serves a good purpose. Second, I hope it alerts you to the possibility that other people will be offering you compelling and creative illusions -- illusions that you should engage with only if they serve a good purpose.

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I invite you to keep a running list of all the ways life delights you and helps you and energizes you. Describe everyday miracles you take for granted . . . the uncanny powers you possess . . . the small joys that occur so routinely you forget how much they mean to you . . . the steady flow of benefits bestowed on you by people you know and don't know. What works for you? What makes you feel at home in the world? For inspiration in this noble effort, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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I hope you can obtain the Avatar Elixir stashed in the golden obelisk in the underground fortress beneath the glass mountain. It will allow you to produce the "triple-helix" energy that will give you the power to cross freely back and forth through the gateway between universes.

Then the thunder and lightning will obey your commands. Rivers and comets will become your allies. Every star in the sky will shine directly on you. Animals will prove their love again and again. You will always know the truest words to say.

And if for some reason you're not able to get your hands on that Avatar Elixir, you may be able to achieve similar results by drinking a bottle of beer that's currently stashed in the lower left rear section of the beverage cooler at a convenience store within five miles of your home.

(Magic might be wherever you think it is.)