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Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny


Week of March 8th, 2018

♈ ARIES

(March 21-April 19)
The men who work on offshore oil rigs perform demanding, dangerous tasks on a regular basis. If they make mistakes, they may get injured or befoul the sea with petroleum. As you might guess, the culture on these rigs has traditionally been macho, stoic, and hard-driving. But in recent years, that has changed at one company. Shell Oil's workers in the U.S. were trained by Holocaust survivor Claire Nuer to talk about their feelings, be willing to admit errors, and soften their attitudes. As a result, the company's safety record has improved dramatically. If macho dudes toiling on oil rigs can become more vulnerable and open and tenderly expressive, so can you, Aries. And now would be a propitious time to do it.

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Grace emerges in the ebb and flow, not just the flow. The waning reveals a different blessing than the waxing. Where are you in the great cycle of your life? For inspiration in figuring it all out, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Some people put their faith in religion or science or political ideologies. English novelist J.G. Ballard placed his faith elsewhere: in the imagination. "I believe in the power of the imagination to remake the world," he wrote, "to release the truth within us, to hold back the night, to transcend death, to charm motorways, to ingratiate ourselves with birds, to enlist the confidences of madmen."

How do you use the power of imagination to remake the world?





♉ TAURUS

(April 20-May 20)
How will you celebrate your upcoming climax and culmination, Taurus? With a howl of triumph, a fist pump, and three cartwheels? With a humble speech thanking everyone who helped you along the way? With a bottle of champagne, a gourmet feast, and spectacular sex? However you choose to mark this transition from one chapter of your life story to the next chapter, I suggest that you include an action that will help the next chapter get off to a rousing start. In your ritual of completion, plant seeds for the future.

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Whether it's your time to ferment in the shadows or sing in the sun, fresh power to transform yourself is on the way. Life always delivers the creative energy you need to change into the new thing you must become. For more help in understanding it all, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Here are practical ways I carry on the work of championing and embodying the Divine Feminine:

I regard relationship as a crucible for spiritual work.

I think of the practical expression of kindness and compassion and ethical behavior as an essential spiritual practice.

I assume that a crucial element of spiritual practice is the consciousness and compassion we bring to the sometimes chaotic and messy details of being human beings.

I proceed as if loving and caring for animals and plants and the Earth is the test of our spiritual intentions.

I regard play and fun and humor as not diversions from "serious" spiritual work, but rather being at the center of it.

There are more, but I'll stop for now. What about you? What are the practical ways you carry on the work of loving Goddess?





♊ GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)
On April 23, 1516, the Germanic duchy of Bavaria issued a decree. From that day forward, all beer produced had to use just three ingredients: water, barley, and hops. Ever since then, for the last 500+ years, this edict has had an enduring influence on how German beer is manufactured. In accordance with astrological factors, I suggest that you proclaim three equally potent and systemic directives of your own. It's an opportune time to be clear and forceful about how you want your story to unfold in the coming years.

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You can learn to be lucky. It's not a mystical force you're born with, but a habit you can develop. How? For starters, be open to new experiences, trust your gut wisdom, expect good fortune, see the bright side of challenging events, and master the art of maximizing serendipitous opportunities. For more help, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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I invite you to say the following, and see how it feels:

Everyone is my teacher.

Everywhere I go, I am a student.

Every person I meet is in some way my superior.

I vow to shut up and listen on a frequent and regular basis.





♋ CANCERIAN

(June 21-July 22)
What's your most frustrating flaw? During the next seven weeks, you will have enhanced power to diminish its grip on you. It's even possible you will partially correct it or outgrow it. To take maximum advantage of this opportunity, rise above any covert tendency you might have to cling to your familiar pain. Rebel against the attitude described by novelist Stephen King: "It's hard to let go. Even when what you're holding onto is full of thorns, it's hard to let go. Maybe especially then."

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Somewhere there's a treasure that has no value to anyone but you, and a secret that's meaningless to everyone except you, and a frontier that harbors a revelation only you would know how to exploit. Why not go in search of those things? For inspiration, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Here's a thought experiment you could try for the next 24 hours: Every time a negative or fearful thought rises up, substitute a thought, imagination, or memory that energizes you and makes you feel genuinely good.

It's only for one day. You can do it!





♌ LEO

(July 23-August 22)
In his book Whistling in the Dark, author Frederick Buechner writes that the ancient Druids took "a special interest in in-between things like mistletoe, which is neither quite a plant nor quite a tree, and mist, which is neither quite rain nor quite air, and dreams, which are neither quite waking nor quite sleep." According to my reading of the astrological omens, in-between phenomena will be your specialty in the coming weeks. You will also thrive in relationship to anything that lives in two worlds or that has paradoxical qualities. I hope you'll exult in the educational delights that come from your willingness to be teased and mystified.

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When they say "Be yourself," which self do they mean? Certainly not the self that wants to win every game and use up every resource and stand alone at the end of time on a mountain of pretty garbage. So which self is it? For guidance, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Each one of us is a blend of life and death. In the most literal sense, our bodies always contain old cells that are dying and new cells that are emerging as replacements.

From a more metaphorical perspective, our familiar ways of seeing and thinking and feeling are constantly atrophying, even as fresh modes emerge. Both losing and winning are woven into every day; sinking down and rising up; shrinking and expanding.

In any given phase of our lives, one or the other polarity is often more pronounced. But sometimes they are evenly balanced; the Seasons of Rot and of Regeneration happen at the same time.

Where are you at in the cycle right now?





♍ VIRGO

(August 23-September 22)
The English word "velleity" refers to an empty wish that has no power behind it. If you feel a longing to make a pilgrimage to a holy site, but can't summon the motivation to actually do so, you are under the spell of velleity. Your fantasy of communicating with more flair and candor is a velleity if you never initiate the practical steps to accomplish that goal. Most of us suffer from this weakness at one time or another. But the good news, Virgo, is that you are primed to overcome your version of it during the next six weeks. Life will conspire to assist you if you resolve to turn your wishy-washy wishes into potent action plans -- and then actually carry out those plans.

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Take inventory of the extent that "No" dominates your life. Notice how often you say or think: 1. "That's not right." 2. "I don't like that." 3. "I don't agree with that." 4. "They don't like me." 5. "I'm not very good." 6. "That should be different from what it is." For help in retraining yourself to say "Yes!" at least 51% of the time, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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How's your fight for freedom going? Are you making progress in liberating yourself from your unconscious obsessions, bad habits, and conditioned responses? Do you find that you're getting more skillful at minimizing your suffering? Are you turning out to be the hero of your own life?





♎ LIBRA

(September 23-October 22)
In the 2002 film Spiderman, there’s a scene where the character Mary Jane slips on a spilled drink as she carries a tray full of food through a cafeteria. Spiderman, disguised as his alter ego Peter Parker, makes a miraculous save. He jumps up from his chair and catches Mary Jane before she falls. Meanwhile, he grabs her tray and uses it to gracefully capture her apple, sandwich, carton of milk, and bowl of jello before they hit the floor. The filmmakers say they didn't use CGI to render this scene. The lead actor, Tobey Maguire, allegedly accomplished it in real life -- although it took 156 takes before he finally mastered it. I hope you have that level of patient determination in the coming weeks, Libra. You, too, can perform a small miracle if you do.

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How's your fight for freedom going? Are you making progress in liberating yourself from your unconscious obsessions, bad habits, and conditioned responses? For assistance and inspiration, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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What nourishes you emotionally and spiritually?

I'm not talking about what entertains you or flatters you or takes your mind off your problems.

I'm referring to the influences that make you stronger and the people who see you for who you really are and the situations that teach you life-long lessons.

I mean the beauty that replenishes your psyche and the symbols that consistently restore your balance and the memories that keep feeding your ability to rise to each new challenge.

I invite you to take inventory of these precious assets. And then make a special point of nurturing them back.





♏ SCORPIO

(October 23-November 21)
Scorpio mathematician Benoît Mandelbrot was a connoisseur of "the art of roughness" and "the uncontrolled element in life." He liked to locate and study the hidden order in seemingly chaotic and messy things. "My life seemed to be a series of events and accidents," he said. "Yet when I look back I see a pattern." I bring his perspective to your attention, Scorpio, because you are entering a phase when the hidden order and secret meanings of your life will emerge into view. Be alert for surprising hints of coherence.

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Assume that your drive to experience pleasure isn't a barrier to your spiritual growth, but is in fact essential to it. Proceed on the hypothesis that cultivating joy can make you a more ethical and compassionate person. Imagine that feeling good has something important to teach you every day. For inspiration in practicing this approach, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Here's a prescription that may help you make optimal use of your precious life energy:

Set an intention to clarify your intentions about the essential matters in your life. Say "I am clarifying my intentions about . . ."

"who I really am"

"whom and what I love"

"how I want to serve my fellow creatures and the planet Earth"

"the unripe qualities in myself that I am ripening"

"what I need to do next"

"the best way for me to make money"

"the moral principles I hold most strongly"

"the truth about my relationship to the Source"

"the best use of my creative energy"

others?





♐ SAGITTARIUS

(November 22-December 21)
I suspect that in July and August you will be invited to commune with rousing opportunities and exciting escapades. But right now I'm advising you to channel your intelligence into well-contained opportunities and sensible adventures. In fact, my projections suggest that your ability to capitalize fully on the future's rousing opportunities and exciting escapades will depend on how well you master the current crop of well-contained opportunities and sensible adventures. Making the most of today's small pleasures will qualify you to harvest bigger pleasures later.

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"Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show." So begins Charles Dickens' novel David Copperfield. I'd like to inspire you to write a story of your own that begins like that. For help, tune into your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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You're a gorgeous mystery with a wild heart and a lofty purpose. But like all of us, you also have a dark side -- a part of your psyche that snarls and bites, that's unconscious and irrational, that is motivated by ill will or twisted passions or instinctual fears.

It's your own personal portion of the world's sickness: a mess of repressed longings, enervating wounds, ignorant delusions, and unripe powers. You'd prefer to ignore it because it's unflattering or uncomfortable or very different from what you imagine yourself to be.

If you acknowledge its existence at all (many of us don't), you might call it the devil, your evil twin, your inner monster, or your personal demon. Psychologist Carl Jung referred to it as the shadow. He regarded it as the lead that the authentic alchemists of the Middle Ages sought to transmute into gold.





♑ CAPRICORN

(December 22-January 19)
If you saw the animated film The Lion King, you may have been impressed with the authenticity of the lions' roars and snarls. Did the producers place microphones in the vicinity of actual lions? No. Voice actor Frank Welker produced the sounds by growling and yelling into a metal garbage can. I propose this as a useful metaphor for you in the coming days. First, I hope it inspires you to generate a compelling and creative illusion of your own -- an illusion that serves a good purpose. Second, I hope it alerts you to the possibility that other people will be offering you compelling and creative illusions -- illusions that you should engage with only if they serve a good purpose.

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I invite you to keep a running list of all the ways life delights you and helps you and energizes you. Describe everyday miracles you take for granted . . . the uncanny powers you possess . . . the small joys that occur so routinely you forget how much they mean to you . . . the steady flow of benefits bestowed on you by people you know and don't know. What works for you? What makes you feel at home in the world? For inspiration in this noble effort, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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I hope you can obtain the Avatar Elixir stashed in the golden obelisk in the underground fortress beneath the glass mountain. It will allow you to produce the "triple-helix" energy that will give you the power to cross freely back and forth through the gateway between universes.

Then the thunder and lightning will obey your commands. Rivers and comets will become your allies. Every star in the sky will shine directly on you. Animals will prove their love again and again. You will always know the truest words to say.

And if for some reason you're not able to get your hands on that Avatar Elixir, you may be able to achieve similar results by drinking a bottle of beer that's currently stashed in the lower left rear section of the beverage cooler at a convenience store within five miles of your home.

(Magic might be wherever you think it is.)





♒ AQUARIUS

(January 20- February 18)
I do a lot of self-editing before I publish what I write. My horoscopes go through at least three drafts before I unleash them on the world. While polishing the manuscript of my first novel, I threw away over a thousand pages of stuff that I had worked on very hard. In contrast to my approach, science fiction writer Harlan Ellison dashed off one of his award-winning stories in a single night, and published it without making any changes to the first draft. As you work in your own chosen field, Aquarius, I suspect that for the next three weeks you will produce the best results by being more like me than Ellison. Beginning about three weeks from now, an Ellison-style strategy might be more warranted.

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All of creation loves you very much. Even now, people you know and people you don't know are collaborating to make sure you have all you need to make your next smart move. But are you willing to start loving life back with an equal intensity? The adoration it offers you has not exactly been unrequited, but there is room for you to be more demonstrative. For help in cultivating this approach, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Are you willing to push hard to get better, become smarter, grow your devotion to the truth, fuel your commitment to beauty, refine your emotional intelligence, hone your dreams, negotiate with your shadow, cure your ignorance, shed your pettiness, heighten your drive to look for the best in people, and soften your heart . . . even as you always accept yourself for exactly who you are with all of your so-called imperfections, never demeaning the present by comparing it to an idealized past or future?





♓ PISCES

(February 19-March 20)
According to my assessment of the astrological omens, you're in a favorable phase to gain more power over your fears. You can reduce your susceptibility to chronic anxieties. You can draw on the help and insight necessary to dissipate insidious doubts that are rooted in habit but not based on objective evidence. I don't want to sound too melodramatic, my dear Pisces, but THIS IS AN AMAZING OPPORTUNITY! YOU ARE POTENTIALLY ON THE VERGE OF AN UNPRECEDENTED BREAKTHROUGH! In my opinion, nothing is more important for you to accomplish in the coming weeks than this inner conquest.

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What are the obvious secrets you can't quite see? How could you turn your challenges into daily gifts for yourself? For clues to mysteries like these, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Readers of my horoscope column "Free Will Astrology" are sometimes surprised when I say I only believe in astrology about 80 percent. "You're a quack?!" they cry. Not at all, I explain. I've been a passionate student of the ancient art for years. About the time my over-educated young brain was on the verge of desertification, crazy wisdom showed up in the guise of astrology, moistening my soul just in time to save it.

"But what about the other 20 percent?" they press on. "Are you saying your horoscopes are only partially true?"

I assure them that my doubt proves my love. By cultivating a tender, cheerful skepticism, I inoculate myself against the virus of fanaticism. This ensures that astrology will be a supple tool in my hands, an adaptable art form, and not a rigid, explain-it-all dogma that over-literalizes and distorts the mysteries it seeks to illuminate.

Read the rest of this oracular essay.






Listen to Rob's Expanded Audio Horoscopes, updated weekly.



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