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Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny

Week of September 24th, 2015


(November 22-December 21)
Some astrologers regard the planet Saturn as a sour tyrant that cramps our style and squelches our freedom. But here's my hypothesis: Behind Saturn's austere mask is a benevolent teacher and guide. She pressures us to focus and concentrate. She pushes us to harness and discipline our unique gifts. It's true that some people resist these cosmic nudges. They prefer to meander all over the place, trying out roles they're not suited for and indulging in the perverse luxury of neglecting their deepest desires. For them Saturn seems like a dour taskmaster, spoiling their lazy fun. I trust that you Sagittarians will develop a dynamic relationship with Saturn as she cruises through your sign for the next 26 months. With her help, you can deepen your devotion to your life's most crucial goals.


What are the obvious secrets you can't quite see? How could you turn your challenges into daily gifts for yourself? For clues to mysteries like these, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.


SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
Some people feel polluted when they look at porn; others when they eat Pringles and Twinkies. Personally, I experience a sense of violation after being exposed to celebrity gossip. And yet, if I've learned anything about how to maintain a healthy relationship with purity, it's that a fanatical adherence to it is as dangerous as a compulsive rejection of it. This will be especially true for you as you practice the art of pronoia. I urge you, therefore, to rebel cagily now and then against your urge to be a perfectly nice perpetrator of goodness and beauty and truth and justice.

Here's one method that might work: Use sacred sarcasm to motivate your allies to cooperate more with life's benevolent conspiracy. For instance, you might say the following to a certain female friend, hoping it will prod her to swear off self-punishing behavior forever: "You sure honored your ancestors and left an inspiring legacy for your descendants during the month you spent courting that alcoholic womanizer."

Or say something like this to a person who has not been asking for enough in return for her gifts: "No doubt you impressed the gods and earned a heap of karmic credit for all the free work you gave away to that megalomaniac who ripped you off so brilliantly."