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Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny


Week of September 24th, 2015

♈ ARIES

(March 21-April 19)
You are destined to become a master of fire. It's your birthright to become skilled in the arts of kindling and warming and illuminating and energizing. Eventually you will develop a fine knack for knowing when it's appropriate to turn the heat up high, and when it's right to simmer with a slow, steady glow. You will wield your flames with discernment and compassion, rarely or never with prideful rage. You will have a special power to accomplish creative destruction and avoid harmful destruction. I'm pleased at the progress you are making toward these noble goals, but there's room for improvement. During the next eight weeks, you can speed up your evolution.

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Somewhere there's a treasure that has no value to anyone but you, and a secret that's meaningless to everyone except you, and a frontier that harbors a revelation only you would know how to exploit. Why not go in search of those things? For inspiration, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Do you have an unconscious belief that the forces of evil are loud, vigorous, and strong, while good is quiet, gentle, and passive? Gather evidence that contradicts this irrational prejudice.

Are you secretly suspicious of joy because you think it's inevitably rooted in wishful thinking and a willful ignorance about the true nature of reality? Expose these suspicions as superstitions that aren't grounded in any objective data you can actually prove.

Do you fear that when you're in the presence of love and beauty you tend to become softheaded, whereas you're likely to feel smart and powerful when you're sneering at the ugliness around you? As an antidote, for a given amount of time, say a week or a month or a year, act as if the following hypothesis were true: that you're more likely to grow smarter when you're in the presence of love and beauty.

♉ TAURUS

(April 20-May 20)
Taurus-born physicist Wolfgang Pauli won a Nobel Prize for his research. His accomplishment? The Nobel Committee said he discovered "a new law of nature," and named it after him: the Pauli Principle. And yet when he was a younger man, he testified, "Physics is much too difficult for me and I wish I were a film comedian or something like that and that I had never heard anything about physics!" I imagine you might now be feeling a comparable frustration about something for which you have substantial potential, Taurus. In the spirit of Pauli's perseverance, I urge you to keep at it.

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When they say "Be yourself," which self do they mean? Certainly not the self that wants to win every game and use up every resource and stand alone at the end of time on a mountain of pretty garbage. So which self is it? For guidance, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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My friend Riley was the first member of her family to attend college. None of her hardscrabble Irish forebears had ever pursued higher education. In her senior year, Riley began having nightmares of her relatives trying to stop her from finishing school. In one recurring dream, her great-grandfather burned all her textbooks. In another, a mob of aunts and uncles tackled her and held her down as she tried to get to class.

Despite these psychic obstacles, Riley persevered in her studies and eventually got her diploma. The week after graduation, she had another dream: A host of her ancestors came to her in the form of a great choir singing songs in praise of her success.

Riley's psychotherapist speculated that the dream meant she had not only overcome the inertia of her heritage, but had also healed an ancient wound of her family going back many generations. Is there a similar accomplishment you're capable of? What is it?

♊ GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)
In 1921, the French city of Biarritz hosted an international kissing contest. After evaluating the participants' efforts, the panel of judges declared that Spanish kisses were "vampiric," while those of Italians were "burning," English were "tepid," Russians were "eruptive," French were "chaste," and Americans were "flaccid." Whatever nationality you are, Gemini, I hope you will eschew those paradigms -- and all other paradigms, as well. Now is an excellent time to experiment with and hone your own unique style of kissing. I'm tempted to suggest that you raise your levels of tenderness and wildness, but I'd rather you ignore all advice and trust your intuition.

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Take inventory of the extent that "No" dominates your life. Notice how often you say or think: 1. "That's not right." 2. "I don't like that." 3. "I don't agree with that." 4. "They don't like me." 5. "I'm not very good." 6. "That should be different from what it is." For help in retraining yourself to say "Yes!" at least 51% of the time, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Is the universe inherently friendly to humans? The answer's got to be either "yes, definitely" or "no, not really." It can't be in between. Whatever you may be inclined to believe, you've got to agree that there's no way to know which is true with absolute certainty.

So then isn't it stupid and self-destructive to live your life as if the universe is unfriendly? Doing so tends to cast a pall over everything. But if on the other hand you proceed on the hypothesis that the universe is friendly, you're inclined to interpret everything that occurs as a gift, however challenging it may be to figure out its purpose at first.

♋ CANCERIAN

(June 21-July 22)
The astrological omens suggest you could get caught up in dreaming about what might have been. I'm afraid you might cling to outworn traditions and resuscitate wistful wishes that have little relevance for the future. You may even be tempted to wander through the labyrinth of your memories, hoping to steep yourself in old feelings that weren't even good medicine for you when you first experienced them. But I hope you will override these inclinations, and instead act on the aphorism, "If you don't study the past, you will probably repeat it." Right now, the best reason to remember the old days is to rebel against them and prevent them from draining your energy.

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How's your fight for freedom going? Are you making progress in liberating yourself from your unconscious obsessions, bad habits, and conditioned responses? For assistance and inspiration, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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"The seed cannot sprout upwards without simultaneously sending roots into the ground," says an Egyptian proverb. Keep that thought in mind as you head into your next phase of growth. What part of you needs to deepen as you rise up? What growth needs to unfold in the hidden places as you gravitate toward the light? How can you go about balancing and stabilizing your ascension with a downward penetration?

♌ LEO

(July 23-August 22)
You may laugh more in the next fourteen days than you have during any comparable fourteen-day period since you were five years old. At least I hope you will. It will be the best possible tonic for your physical and mental health. Even more than usual, laughter has the power to heal your wounds, alert you to secrets hiding in plain sight, and awaken your dormant potentials. Luckily, I suspect that life will conspire to bring about this happy development. A steady stream of antics and whimsies and amusing paradoxes is headed your way. Be alert for the opportunities.

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Assume that your drive to experience pleasure isn't a barrier to your spiritual growth, but is in fact essential to it. Proceed on the hypothesis that cultivating joy can make you a more ethical and compassionate person. Imagine that feeling good has something important to teach you every day. For inspiration in practicing this approach, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Some Christians believe Jesus will come back to fix this corrupt world. Certain Jewish sects propose that the messiah will soon appear on Earth for the first time. Among Muslims, many predict the legendary Twelfth Imam will return and bring salvation to humanity.

In India, devotees of Vishnu expect the avatar Kalki to arrive on the scene and carry out a series of miraculous redemptions. Even Buddhists prophesy Maitreya, the chosen one who will establish universal peace.

My divinations foretell a very different scenario. I suspect that the whole point of our spectacularly confounding moment in history is that each of us must become our own savior. And if we hope to accomplish that, relying on our best amateur efforts, we will have to stop waiting around for a supposed professional to do our work for us. We should also shed our addiction to believing in the possibility of any kind of magical intervention.

Franz Kafka had a view that's not necessarily mutually exclusive with mine: "The messiah will come when we don't need him anymore."

Let's also consider the evidence offered by William Blake, as quoted in Poets and God by David L. Edwards: "Jesus Christ is the only God. And so am I. And so are you."

One more clue, this time from Deepak Chopra: "Every person is a God in embryo. Its only desire is to be born."

♍ VIRGO

(August 23-September 22)
It's a favorable time to fantasize about how to suck more cash into your life. You have entered a phase when economic mojo is easier to conjure than usual. Are you ready to engage in some practical measures to take advantage of the cosmic trend? And by that I don't mean playing the lottery or stealing strangers' wallets or scanning the sidewalk for fallen money as you stroll. Get intensely real and serious about enhancing your financial fortunes. What are three specific ways you're ignorant about getting and handling money? Educate yourself.

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"Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show." So begins Charles Dickens' novel David Copperfield. I'd like to inspire you to write a story of your own that begins like that. For help, tune into your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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"Is it bad to live without a hell?" poet Pablo Neruda asks in The Book of Questions. Let's add these queries to his: Is it dangerous to live without the awakening force that an enemy provides? Is it naive to think you can achieve great success without the driving motivation that comes from thinking about ideas you hate?

Consider the issue from another angle. Dentists love tooth decay. Treating cavities provides them with a steady income. Likewise, exterminators are dependent on termites, lawyers need crime, and priests crave sinners. Lots of people have symbiotic connections with nasty stuff. In fact, isn't it true that most of us nurture our feelings for the things we love to despise and fear?

What's your favorite poison or adversary? Assume that your exposure to pronoia is changing you in ways that will require you to update your relationship with it. Speculate on how you'll go about this task.

♎ LIBRA

(September 23-October 22)
"I feel like a wet seed wild in the hot blind earth," wrote author William Faulkner. Some astrologers would say that it's unlikely a Libra would ever say such a thing -- that it's too primal a feeling for your refined, dignified tribe; too lush and unruly. But I disagree with that view. Faulkner himself was a Libra! And I am quite sure that you are now or will soon be like a wet seed in the hot blind earth -- fierce to sprout and grow with almost feral abandon.

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I invite you to keep a running list of all the ways life delights you and helps you and energizes you. Describe everyday miracles you take for granted . . . the uncanny powers you possess . . . the small joys that occur so routinely you forget how much they mean to you . . . the steady flow of benefits bestowed on you by people you know and don't know. What works for you? What makes you feel at home in the world? For inspiration in this noble effort, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Do you have a negative opinion of clouds? Are you inclined to regard them as symbols of gloom and malaise, interruptions in what you wish would always be clear blue sky?

If so, I'll ask you to revise your view. Consider the fact that in Chinese mythology, there are xiangyun, or "lucky clouds" that are harbingers of great blessings. Deities may even ride on them for pleasure. Among the Zuni Indians, the monster known as the Cloud Eater was feared because he devoured clouds that might bring replenishing rain. And modern meteorologists know that white, fluffy cumulus clouds are signs that fair weather is on the way.

Armed with these ideas, go out in search of your own personal lucky clouds.

♏ SCORPIO

(October 23-November 21)
You and I both know that you can heal the sick and raise the dead and turn water into wine -- or at least perform the metaphorical equivalent of those magical acts. Especially when the pressure is on, you have the power to attract the help of mysterious forces and unexpected interventions. I love that about you! When people around you are rendered fuzzy and inert by life's puzzling riddles, you are often the best hope for activating constructive responses. According to my analysis of upcoming cosmic trends, these skills will be in high demand during the coming weeks.

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All of creation loves you very much. Even now, people you know and people you don't know are collaborating to make sure you have all you need to make your next smart move. But are you willing to start loving life back with an equal intensity? The adoration it offers you has not exactly been unrequited, but there is room for you to be more demonstrative. For help in cultivating this approach, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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I give thanks for the dented rusty brown and gray 1967 Chevy 10 pick-up truck that my neighbor parks askew on the shoulder of the road near my house. Its messy beauty snaps me back to sanity when my own perfectionism threatens to de-soul me, or when all the shiny, sleek, polished things of the world are on the verge of hypnotizing me into believing that only they should be considered attractive.

Are there equivalent triggers in your life?

♐ SAGITTARIUS

(November 22-December 21)
Some astrologers regard the planet Saturn as a sour tyrant that cramps our style and squelches our freedom. But here's my hypothesis: Behind Saturn's austere mask is a benevolent teacher and guide. She pressures us to focus and concentrate. She pushes us to harness and discipline our unique gifts. It's true that some people resist these cosmic nudges. They prefer to meander all over the place, trying out roles they're not suited for and indulging in the perverse luxury of neglecting their deepest desires. For them Saturn seems like a dour taskmaster, spoiling their lazy fun. I trust that you Sagittarians will develop a dynamic relationship with Saturn as she cruises through your sign for the next 26 months. With her help, you can deepen your devotion to your life's most crucial goals.

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What are the obvious secrets you can't quite see? How could you turn your challenges into daily gifts for yourself? For clues to mysteries like these, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Some people feel polluted when they look at porn; others when they eat Pringles and Twinkies. Personally, I experience a sense of violation after being exposed to celebrity gossip. And yet, if I've learned anything about how to maintain a healthy relationship with purity, it's that a fanatical adherence to it is as dangerous as a compulsive rejection of it. This will be especially true for you as you practice the art of pronoia. I urge you, therefore, to rebel cagily now and then against your urge to be a perfectly nice perpetrator of goodness and beauty and truth and justice.

Here's one method that might work: Use sacred sarcasm to motivate your allies to cooperate more with life's benevolent conspiracy. For instance, you might say the following to a certain female friend, hoping it will prod her to swear off self-punishing behavior forever: "You sure honored your ancestors and left an inspiring legacy for your descendants during the month you spent courting that alcoholic womanizer."

Or say something like this to a person who has not been asking for enough in return for her gifts: "No doubt you impressed the gods and earned a heap of karmic credit for all the free work you gave away to that megalomaniac who ripped you off so brilliantly."

♑ CAPRICORN

(December 22-January 19)
The coming weeks will be a favorable time to break a spell you've been under, or shatter an illusion you have been caught up in, or burst free from a trance you have felt powerless to escape. If you are moved to seek help from a shaman, witch, or therapist, please do so. But I bet you could accomplish the feat all by yourself. Trust your hunches! Here's one approach you could try: Tap into both your primal anger and your primal joy. In your mind's eye, envision situations that tempt you to hate life and envision situations that inspire you love life. With this volatile blend as your fuel, you can explode the hold of the spell, illusion, or trance.

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Grace emerges in the ebb and flow, not just the flow. The waning reveals a different blessing than the waxing. Where are you in the great cycle of your life? For inspiration in figuring it all out, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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"Keep exploring what it takes to be the opposite of who you are," suggests psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, author of the book Creativity: Flow and the Psychology of Discovery and Invention. This advice is one of his ideas about how to get into attunement with the Tao, also known as being in the zone.

How would you go about being the opposite of who you are? Try it and see if it drives you into a state of euphoria.

♒ AQUARIUS

(January 20- February 18)
"Go to the edge of the cliff and jump off. Build your wings on the way down." So advised author Ray Bradbury. That strategy is too nerve-wracking for a cautious person like me. I prefer to meticulously build and thoroughly test my wings before trying a quantum leap. But I have observed that Aquarius is one of the three signs of the zodiac most likely to succeed with this approach. And according to my astrological calculations, the coming weeks will be a time when your talent for building robust wings in mid-air will be even more effective than usual.

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Whether it's your time to ferment in the shadows or sing in the sun, fresh power to transform yourself is on the way. Life always delivers the creative energy you need to change into the new thing you must become. For more help in understanding it all, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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When playing the card game known as bridge, you're fortunate if you're dealt no cards of any particular suit. It allows you to use the trump suit to win tricks.

Identify a situation in your own life where a lack of a certain resource can work to your advantage, allowing you to be a free agent, an X-factor, a wild card; freeing you to capitalize on loopholes that aren't normally available; giving you access to luck that comes to you through what you're missing.

♓ PISCES

(February 19-March 20)
You are being tempted to make deeper commitments and to give more of yourself. Should you? Is it in your interests to mingle your destiny more thoroughly with the destinies of others? Will you benefit from trying to cultivate more engaged forms of intimacy? As is true for most big questions, there are no neat, simple answers. Exploring stronger connections would ultimately be both messy and rewarding. Here's an inquiry that might bring clarity as you ponder the possibility of merging your fortunes more closely with allies or potential allies: Will deeper commitments with them inspire you to love yourself dearly, treat yourself with impeccable kindness, and be a superb ally to yourself?

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You can learn to be lucky. It's not a mystical force you're born with, but a habit you can develop. How? For starters, be open to new experiences, trust your gut wisdom, expect good fortune, see the bright side of challenging events, and master the art of maximizing serendipitous opportunities. For more help, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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I was never the class clown. I am not a troubled but devilishly handsome wastrel living on a trust fund. I've never beaten up anyone, have steadfastly not aspired to write like Raymond Carver, and have never played strip Scrabble with a junkie violinist on a leaky waterbed in a Key West penthouse. There are so many things I am not and will never be, and I'm glad I know about them. It helps me stay focused on exactly who I am. What about you? Who aren't you? Fantasize about all the paths you will never take. Put it in writing.


Listen to Rob's Expanded Audio Horoscopes, updated weekly.



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