I hope it's not too late or too early to give you a slew of birthday presents. You deserve to be inundated with treats, dispensations, and appreciations. Here's your first perk: You are hereby granted a license to break a taboo that is no longer useful or necessary. Second blessing: You are authorized to instigate a wildly constructive departure from tradition. Third boost: I predict that in the next six weeks, you will simultaneously claim new freedom and summon more discipline. Fourth delight: During the next three months, you will discover and uncork a new thrill. Fifth goody: Between now and your birthday in 2016, you will develop a more relaxed relationship with perfectionism.

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Need more help deciphering the riddles and enigmas that are fueling your amazing story? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Feel sorry for a devious lawyer
Rebel against your horoscope
Give yourself another chance
Write your autohagiography
Play games with no rules
Teach animals to dance
Trick your nightmares
Relax and go deeper
Dream like stones
Mock your fears
Drink the sun
Suck gravity
Sing love