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Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny


Week of September 10th, 2015

♈ ARIES

(March 21-April 19)
"More and more I have come to admire resilience," writes Jane Hirshfield in her poem "Optimism." "Not the simple resistance of a pillow," she adds, "whose foam returns over and over to the same shape, but the sinuous tenacity of a tree: finding the light newly blocked on one side, it turns in another." You have not often had great access to this capacity in the past, Aries. Your specialty has been the fast and fiery style of adjustment. But for the foreseeable future, I'm betting you will be able to summon a supple staying power -- a dogged, determined, incremental kind of resilience.

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Want to hear more about the subconscious factors and hidden forces that may be influencing your life? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Computer programmer Garry Hamilton articulated the following "Game Rules." Give examples of how they have worked in your life.

1. If the game is rigged so you can't win, find another game or invent your own.
2. If you're not winning because you don't know the rules, learn the rules.
3. If you know the rules but aren't willing to follow them, there's either something wrong with the game or you need to change something in yourself.
4. Don't play the game in a half-baked way. Either get all the way in or all the way out.
5. It shouldn't be necessary for others to lose in order for you to win. If others have to lose, re-evaluate the game's goals.

♉ TAURUS

(April 20-May 20)
"The fragrance from your mango groves makes me wild with joy." That's one of the lyrics in the national anthem of Bangladesh. Here's another: "Forever your skies . . . set my heart in tune as if it were a flute." Elsewhere, addressing Bangladesh as if it were a goddess, the song proclaims, "Words from your lips are like nectar to my ears." I suspect you may be awash with comparable feelings in the coming weeks, Taurus -- not toward your country, but rather for the creatures and experiences that rouse your delight and exultation. They are likely to provide even more of the sweet mojo than they usually do. It will be an excellent time to improvise your own hymns of praise.

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To further explore the ripening blessings and interesting challenges in your life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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When he's in his prime, a male panda performs an average of eight handstands a day. There's no apparent evolutionary purpose in this stunt. Maybe he does it because it feels good.

Make him your role model. Identify three activities you can do not because they're "good for you" or because they'll advance some goal you're pursuing, but simply for the sheer fun of it.

♊ GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)
There have been times in the past when your potential helpers disappeared just when you wanted more help than usual. In the coming weeks, I believe you will get redress for those sad interludes of yesteryear. A wealth of assistance and guidance will be available. Even people who have previously been less than reliable may offer a tweak or intervention that gives you a boost. Here's a tip for how to ensure that you take full advantage of the possibilities: Ask clearly and gracefully for exactly what you need.

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Need more whacks applied to your mental blocks? More caresses bestowed upon your growing edge? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Charles Darwin said the "survival of the fittest" is a central factor in the process of evolution. What exactly did he mean by that? According to sociologist Leon C. Megginson, here's what Darwin was driving at: "It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the ones most responsive to change."

By this definition, what would you have to do to make yourself superbly fit?

♋ CANCERIAN

(June 21-July 22)
Why grab the brain-scrambling moonshine when you may eventually be offered a heart-galvanizing tonic? Why gorge on hors d'oeuvres when a four-course feast will be available sooner than you imagine? According to my analysis of the astrological omens, my fellow Crab, the future will bring unexpected opportunities that are better and brighter than the current choices. This is one of those rare times when procrastination may be in your interest.

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Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be? For more clues, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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During a trip to Europe, New York poet Stephen Ben Israel performed Re-Blessing Ceremonies in venerable cathedrals and synagogues. His primary sacramental act was to smoke a joint and invoke a visceral awareness of the Divine Intelligence. In so doing, he aspired to reanimate those sterile sanctuaries, where over the years so many worshipers have brought only their inert concepts and habit-encrusted beliefs.

Carry out your own version of a Re-Blessing Ceremony in a once-sacred place that has lost its juice.

♌ LEO

(July 23-August 22)
As I hike up San Pedro Ridge, I'm mystified by the madrone trees. The leaves on the short, thin saplings are as big and bold as the leaves on the older, thicker, taller trees. I see this curiosity as an apt metaphor for your current situation, Leo. In one sense, you are in the early stages of a new cycle of growth. In another sense, you are strong and ripe and full-fledged. For you, this is a winning combination: a robust balance of innocence and wisdom, of fresh aspiration and seasoned readiness.

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Would you like to hear me say some more about your ever-evolving destiny? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Qabalist teacher Ann Davies told a story about a U.S. Army general negotiating with a cannibal chief in New Guinea during World War II. The general wanted the chief to rally his tribe to help American troops fight the Japanese. The chief refused, calling the Americans immoral. The general was shocked. "We are not immoral!" he protested. "The Japanese are immoral!" The cannibal chief replied, "The Japanese and Americans are equally immoral. You both kill far more people than you can eat."

Using this tale as your impetus, describe how parts of your moral code may not be rooted in an absolute standard of what's good and evil, but rather bound by the idiosyncrasies of your culture and historical era.

♍ VIRGO

(August 23-September 22)
I hope it's not too late or too early to give you a slew of birthday presents. You deserve to be inundated with treats, dispensations, and appreciations. Here's your first perk: You are hereby granted a license to break a taboo that is no longer useful or necessary. Second blessing: You are authorized to instigate a wildly constructive departure from tradition. Third boost: I predict that in the next six weeks, you will simultaneously claim new freedom and summon more discipline. Fourth delight: During the next three months, you will discover and uncork a new thrill. Fifth goody: Between now and your birthday in 2016, you will develop a more relaxed relationship with perfectionism.

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Need more help deciphering the riddles and enigmas that are fueling your amazing story? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Feel sorry for a devious lawyer
Rebel against your horoscope
Give yourself another chance
Write your autohagiography
Play games with no rules
Teach animals to dance
Trick your nightmares
Relax and go deeper
Dream like stones
Mock your fears
Drink the sun
Suck gravity
Sing love

♎ LIBRA

(September 23-October 22)
A "wheady mile" is an obsolete English term I want to revive for use in this horoscope. It refers to what may happen at the end of a long journey, when that last stretch you've got to traverse seems to take forever. You're so close to home; you're imagining the comfort and rest that will soon be yours. But as you cross the "wheady mile," you must navigate your way through one further plot twist or two. There's a delay or complication that demands more effort just when you want to be finished with the story. Be strong, Libra. Keep the faith. The wheady mile will not, in fact, take forever. (Thanks to Mark Forsyth and his book Horologicon.)

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No one knows you better than you do, but maybe I can help you dig up even more self-knowledge. Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Composer Robert Schuman had long dialogues with his imaginary friends, Florestan and Eusebius, who provided valuable ideas for his musical scores. W.S. Merwyn wrote a poem in which he recounted the counsel of his teacher John Berryman: "He suggested I pray to the Muse / get down on my knees and pray / right there in the corner and he/ said he meant it literally."

Conjure up an imaginary friend and have an intimate conversation with him or her.

♏ SCORPIO

(October 23-November 21)
Trying improbable and unprecedented combinations is your specialty right now. You're willing and able to gamble with blends and juxtapositions that no one else would think of, let alone propose. Bonus: Extra courage is available for you to call on as you proceed. In light of this gift, I suggest you brainstorm about all the unifications that might be possible for you to pull off. What conflicts would you love to defuse? What inequality or lopsidedness do you want to fix? Is there a misunderstanding you can heal or a disjunction you can harmonize?

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Wouldn't you love to learn more about who you really are? What better adventure is there than learning about your soul's code? For more hints, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Take off your mask. You say you're not wearing a mask? But you are. The muscles of your face are so accustomed to displaying your familiar emotions, they've gotten stuck. Raw new emotions are aching to show themselves, but can't dislodge the incumbents.

Start an exercise program. Gaze into the mirror and make hundreds of rubbery faces. Loosen and tone your muscles. Flush those ancient expressions.

♐ SAGITTARIUS

(November 22-December 21)
Is feeling good really as fun as everyone seems to think? Is it really so wonderful to be in a groove, in love with life, and in touch with your deeper self? No! Definitely not! And I suspect that as you enter more fully into these altered states, your life will provide evidence of the inconveniences they bring. For example, some people might nag you for extra attention, and others may be jealous of your success. You could be pressured to take on more responsibilities. And you may be haunted by the worry that sooner or later, this grace period will pass. I'M JUST KIDDING, SAGITTARIUS! In truth, the minor problems precipitated by your blessings won't cause any more anguish than a mosquito biting your butt while you're in the throes of ecstatic love-making.

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I hope the oracle above provides you with the inspiration you need to do what you've got to do and change what needs to be changed. But if you need more clues, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE, where I go further in exploring your mysteries.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Nineteenth-century English poet Dante Gabriel Rossetti wrote a series of sensual sonnets inspired by his relationship with his wife Elizabeth. Before he could publish them, Elizabeth died. He was so distraught he placed the only copy of his manuscript in the grave with her. Years later, though, he decided the love poems were too good to consign forever to the oblivion of the dirt. He had the coffin disinterred and recovered his work.

Draw inspiration from Rosetti's change of heart. Reclaim riches you once abandoned or left for dead.

♑ CAPRICORN

(December 22-January 19)
In this horoscope, we will use the Socratic method to stimulate your excitement about projects that fate will favor in the next nine months. Here's how it works: I ask the questions, and you brainstorm the answers. 1. Is there any part of your life where you are an amateur but would like to be a professional? 2. Are you hesitant to leave a comfort zone even though remaining there tends to inhibit your imagination? 3. Is your ability to fulfill your ambitions limited by any lack of training or deficiency in your education? 4. Is there any way that you are holding on to blissful ignorance at the expense of future possibilities? 5. What new license, credential, diploma, or certification would be most useful to you?

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For more help in understanding your relationship with the game of life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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"As soon as you concern yourself with the 'good' and 'bad' of your fellows," said Morihei Ueshiba, founder of the martial art of aikido, "you create an opening in your heart for maliciousness to enter. Testing, competing with, and criticizing others weaken and defeat you."

Make that your hypothesis. Proceed according to the theory that you can feed your strength and power and freedom by accepting other people just the way they are. Assume that one of the surest ways to be happy and successful is to refrain from judging anyone.

♒ AQUARIUS

(January 20- February 18)
The story of my life features more than a few fiascos. For example, I got fired from my first job after two days. One of my girlfriends dumped me without any explanation and never spoke to me again. My record label fired me and my band after we made just one album. Years later, these indignities still carry a sting. But I confess that I am also grateful for them. They keep me humble. They serve as antidotes if I'm ever tempted to deride other people for their failures. They have helped me develop an abundance of compassion. I mention this personal tale in the hope that you, too, might find redemption and healing in your own memories of frustration. The time is right to capitalize on old losses.

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Would you like further inspiration as you scheme and dream to make the most of life's sometimes puzzling opportunities? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Thomas Paine was a zealous revolutionary. He wrote incendiary pamphlets that helped ignite and sustain America's struggle for independence from Great Britain in the 18th century.

Early in his life, however, he worked making women's girdles, which are among the most constrictive and oppressive garments in the history of the world. Was there a connection between his two gigs? Maybe his later struggle for liberation was an unconscious atonement for his youthful labors.

Instigate a Thomas Paine-like boomerang. Think of something you did in the past that constricted your spirit or squeezed other people's possibilities. Use that memory as a launching pad as you unleash a brilliant stroke in the name of abundance and expansiveness.

♓ PISCES

(February 19-March 20)
It's never fun to be in a sticky predicament that seems to have no smart resolution. But the coming days could turn out to be an unexpectedly good time to be in such a predicament. Why? Because I expect that your exasperation will precipitate an emotional cleansing, releasing ingenious intuitions that had been buried under repressed anger and sadness. You may then find a key that enables you to reclaim at least some of your lost power. The predicament that once felt sour and intractable will mutate, providing you with an opportunity to deepen your connection with a valuable resource.

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What exactly are you looking for? How would you describe the experiences you want more than anything else? It's possible my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE could give you additional help in figuring that out.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Growing up in Montreal, musician Rufus Wainwright was steeped in the mystique of that city's legendary songwriter Leonard Cohen. Although too feisty a spirit to engage in idol-worship, Wainwright was at least slightly in awe.

As a young adult, he finally got to meet Cohen, whose daughter brought him to the great man's family home. When Wainwright walked into the kitchen, Cohen was in his underwear cooking up tiny sausages, which he was chewing, regurgitating, and feeding to a weak baby bird he had found and was trying to revive. (Source: the film I'm Your Man)


Listen to Rob's Expanded Audio Horoscopes, updated weekly.



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