French and Italian readers may have no problem with this horoscope. But Americans, Canadians, Brits, and Aussies might be offended, even grossed out. Why? Because my analysis of the astrological omens compels me to conclude that "moist" is a central theme for you right now. And research has shown that many speakers of the English language find the sound of the word "moist" equivalent to hearing fingernails scratching a chalkboard. If you are one of those people, I apologize. But the fact is, you will go astray unless you stay metaphorically moist. You need to cultivate an attitude that is damp but not sodden; dewy but not soggy; sensitive and responsive and lyrical, but not overwrought or weepy or histrionic.

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Want to hear more about the subconscious factors and hidden forces that may be influencing your life? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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The factor most likely to drive us to addiction or illness is a lack of intimate contact with spirit. We all need a daily dose of vastness. Paradoxically, many of us would also benefit from more microscopic vision. Because we're so deprived of divine connection, we're half-dreaming all the time; our unconscious pining for the eternal source distracts us from the vivid little glories that are splayed out around us. And so we miss the Divine Wow from both directions.

Try this: Prime your connection with spirit by focusing your attention on tones and shapes you usually miss: reflections in windows, the sky between the oak tree's branches, the shadows on the water, the two different emotions in a friend's eyes and mouth.