"I am very much in love with no one in particular," says actor Ezra Miller. His statement would make sense coming out of your mouth right about now. So would this one: "I am very much in love with almost everyone I encounter." Or this one: "I am very much in love with the wind and moon and hills and rain and rivers." Is this going to be a problem? How will you deal with your overwhelming urge to overflow? Will you break people's hearts and provoke uproars everywhere you go, or will you rouse delight and bestow blessings? As long as you take yourself lightly, I foresee delight and blessings.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Don't make nasty comments about yourself behind your own back.

Do play soccer in bunny slippers at dawn in a supermarket parking lot with a gang of sadomasochistic stockbrokers who've promised to teach you the Balinese monkey chant.

Don't decorate your thigh with a sloppy tattoo of the devil pushing a lawn mower.

Do wear a t-shirt that says, "Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most."

Don't glide into a bar, scout around for the person whose face has the most pain etched in it, and ask that person to come home with you.

Do eat ripe organic strawberries that have been genetically modified and irradiated, and do chain-smoke Marlboros as you peddle your exercise bicycle, and do wander through a garbage dump while listening to Mozart on your iPod.

Don't get hooked on the fantasy that there are only two kinds of people, those who align themselves with the forces of light and those who align themselves with the forces of darkness.

Do start an organization called POMP (Proud Owners of Multiple Personalities), dedicated to erasing negative stereotypes about healthy non-schizophrenics who enjoy being a community of many different selves.

Don't lie on a floor surrounded by wine-stained poetry books, crumpled Matisse prints, abandoned underwear, and half-eaten bowls of corn flakes as you stare up at the ceiling with a mad gaze, muttering gibberish and waving your hands as if swatting away demons.

Do run along the tops of cars during a traffic jam, escaping from bad guys as you make your way to a helicopter that takes you to a spot hovering over an erupting volcano, into which you drop the Buns of Steel video.

Don't put your soul up for auction on eBay.

Do write a cookbook filled with recipes you've channeled from dead celebrities.

If you come upon a lamp with a genie in it, don't wish you had a magic wand.

In her io9.com article on untranslatable words, Esther Inglis-Arkell defines the Chinese term *wei-wu-wei* as "conscious non-action . . . a deliberate, and principled, decision to do nothing whatsoever, and to do it for a particular reason." In my astrological opinion, the coming days would be a favorable time to explore and experiment with this approach. I think you will reap wondrous benefits if you slow down and rest in the embrace of a pregnant pause. The mysteries of silence and emptiness will be rich resources.

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Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be? For more clues, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Every fundamentalist divides the world into two camps, those who agree with him and like him and help him, and those who don't. There is only one right way to interpret the world -- according to the ideas the fundamentalist believes to be true -- and a million wrong ways.

The fundamental attitude of all fundamentalists is to take everything way too seriously and too personally and too literally. Imagination is a sin and a crime. Correct belief is the only virtue. Every fundamentalist is committed to waging war against the imagination unless the imagination is enslaved to his or her belief system.

And here's the bad news: Like almost everyone in the world, each of us has our own share of the fundamentalist virus. It may not be as dangerous to the collective welfare as, say, the fundamentalism of Islamic terrorists or Christian politicians or CEOs who act as if making a financial profit is the supreme good or scientists who deny the existence of the 96 percent of reality imperceptible to the five senses. Our fundamentalism is not as virulent as theirs.

But still: We are infected, you and I, with fundamentalism. What are we going to do about it?

I say we practice taking everything less seriously and less personally and less literally.

"I always liked side-paths, little dark back-alleys behind the main road -- there one finds adventures and surprises, and precious metal in the dirt." The character named Dmitri Karamazov makes that statement in Fyodor Dostoyevsky's novel The Brothers Karamazov. And now I'm thinking that you might like to claim his attitude as your own. Just for a while, you understand. Not forever. The magic of the side paths and back-alleys may last for no more than a few weeks, and then gradually fade. But in the meantime, the experiences you uncover there could be fun and educational. I do have one question for you, though: What do you think Dmitri meant by "precious metal in the dirt"? Money? Gold? Jewelry? Was he speaking metaphorically? I'm sure you'll find out.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Receptivity is not a passive state. Nor is it a blank, empty waiting around for whatever happens to come along. In urging you to cultivate receptivity, I don't mean you should become a lazy do-nothing bereft of goals, reacting blindly to whatever life throws in front of you. Receptivity is a robust readiness to be surprised and moved; a vigorous intention to be awake to everything you can't control. When you're receptive in the pronoiac style, you have strong ideas and a powerful will and an eagerness to disseminate your unique blessings, but you're also animated by the humble certainty that you have a lot to learn.

"Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason," says comedian Jerry Seinfeld. His implication is that rejecting traditional strategies and conventional wisdom doesn't always lead to success. As a professional rebel myself, I find it painful to agree even a little bit with that idea. But I do think it's applicable to your life right now. For the foreseeable future, compulsive nonconformity is likely to yield mediocrity. Putting too much emphasis on being unique rather than on being right might distract you from the truth. My advice: Stick to the road more traveled.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Where exactly does happiness come from? That's the riddle posed by David Meyers and Ed Diener in their article, "The Science of Happiness," published in The Futurist magazine. I invite you to write your own answers to their question. Map out the foundations of your own science of happiness. Get serious about defining what makes you feel good. What specific experiences arouse your deepest gratification? Physical pleasure? Seeking the truth? Being a good person? Contemplating the meaning of life? Enjoying the fruits of your accomplishments? Purging pent-up emotion?

I expect you to be in a state of constant birth for the next three weeks. Awakening and activation will come naturally. Your drive to blossom and create may be irresistible, bordering on unruly. Does that sound overwhelming? I don't think it will be a problem as long as you cultivate a mood of amazed amusement about it. (P.S. This upsurge is a healthy response to the dissolution that preceded it.)

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Whatever you choose to focus your attention on, you will get more of it. If you often think of everything you lack and how sad you are that you don't have it, you will tend to receive prolific evidence of how true that is. As you obsess on all the ways your life is different from what you wish it would be, you will become an expert in rousing feelings of frustration and you will attract experiences that assist you in rousing frustration.

If, on the other hand, you dwell on the good things you have already had the privilege to experience, you will expand your appreciation for their blessings, which in turn will amplify their beneficent impact on your life. You will also magnetize yourself to receive further good things, making it more likely that they will be attracted into your sphere. At the very least, you will get in the habit of enjoying yourself no matter what the outward circumstances are.

Expiration dates loom. Fond adieus and last laughs and final hurrahs are on tap. Unfinished business is begging you to give it your smartest attention while there's still time to finish it with elegance and grace. So here's my advice for you, my on-the-verge friend: Don't save any of your tricks, ingenuity, or enthusiasm for later. This is the later you've been saving them for. You are more ready than you realize to try what has always seemed improbable or inconceivable before now. Here's my promise: If you handle these endings with righteous decisiveness, you will ensure bright beginnings in the weeks after your birthday.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Evil is boring. The universe is friendly. Life is on your side. Joy is your birthright.
Cynicism is idiotic. Fear is a bad habit. Despair is lazy. In fact, all of creation wants you to succeed.
Act as if the universe is a prodigious miracle created for your amusement and illumination. Assume that secret helpers are working behind the scenes to assist you in turning into the gorgeous masterpiece you were born to be. Retrain your senses and intellect so you're able to perceive the fact that life always gives you exactly what you need, exactly when you need it.

A company called Evil Supply sells a satirical poster that contains the following quote: "Be the villain you were born to be. Stop waiting for someone to come along and corrupt you. Succumb to the darkness yourself." The text in the advertisement for this product adds, "Follow your nightmares . . . Plot your own nefarious path." Although this counsel is slightly funny to me, I'm too moral and upright to recommend it to you -- even now, when I think there would be value in you being less nice and polite and agreeable than you usually are. So I'll tinker with Evil Supply's message to create more suitable advice: "For the greater good, follow your naughty bliss. Be a leader with a wild imagination. Nudge everyone out of their numbing routines. Sow benevolent mischief that energizes your team."

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I hope the oracle above provides you with the inspiration you need to do what you've got to do and change what needs to be changed. But if you need more clues, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE, where I go further in exploring your mysteries.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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George prayed every day for three years to win the lottery, but never heard from God or hit the jackpot.
Finally, God woke him up in the middle of the night. "George, is that you who's been praying so hard to win the lottery?" the Supreme Being boomed.
"Yes, Lord, desperately!"
God paused for a moment, then said thoughtfully, "George, I'll tell you what. I want you to meet me halfway. Buy a ticket, OK?"

"Every time you resist acting on your anger and instead restore yourself to calm, it gets easier," writes psychologist Laura Markham in Psychology Today. In fact, neurologists claim that by using your willpower in this way, "you're actually rewiring your brain." And so the more you practice, the less likely it is that you will be addled by rage in the future. I see the coming weeks as an especially favorable time for you to do this work, Scorpio. Keeping a part of your anger alive is good, of course -- sometimes you need its energy to motivate constructive change. But you would benefit from culling the excess.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Is it really healthy to have a shrill, 25-words-or-less opinion about everything, as radio and TV talk shows seem to imply? Would anyone mind if now and then you served as a compassionate witness about the hot-button issues? Is it conceivable that you could simply sit on the fence in the midst of the wars of words and beam articulate sympathy at both sides?

Yes, you can. You have the rebellious resourcefulness to be a freedom fighter without hating anyone. Go out and prove it.

Much of the action in the world's novels takes place inside buildings, according to author Robert Bringhurst. But characters in older Russian literature are an exception, he says. They are always out in the forests, traveling and rambling. In accordance with astrological omens, I suggest that you draw inspiration from the Russians' example in the coming days. As often and as long as you can, put yourself in locations where the sky is overhead. Nature is the preferred setting, but even urban spots are good. Your luck, wisdom, and courage are likely to increase in direct proportion to how much time you spend outdoors.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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If you're typical, your natural curiosity was virtually extinguished at an early age by mediocre teachers, boring lessons, and oppressive classrooms. Have you ever wondered what your life would be like if your imagination hadn't been squelched? What interesting adventures might you have sought out if your natural love of learning hadn't been crushed?

Let's launch a quest to undo the damage. Imagine I've handed you an undiploma: your official release from the soul-death of your formal education; the beginning of the healing of your wounded love of learning. What's the first thing you'll do to invoke a steady stream of inspired teachers and invigorating lessons?

Has a beloved teacher disappointed you? Are there inspirational figures about whom you feel conflicted because they don't live up to all of your high standards? Have you become alienated from a person who gave you a blessing but later expressed a flaw you find hard to overlook? Now would be an excellent time to seek healing for rifts like these. Outright forgiveness is one option. You could also work on deepening your appreciation for how complicated and paradoxical everyone is. One more suggestion: Meditate on how your longing for what's perfect might be an enemy of your ability to benefit from what's merely good.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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"Is it bad to live without a hell?" poet Pablo Neruda asks in The Book of Questions. Let's add these queries to his: Is it dangerous to live without an enemy? Is it naive to think you can achieve great success without the driving motivation that comes from having ideas you hate? There are thousands of correct answers to these questions. What are yours?

Consider the issue from another angle. Dentists love tooth decay. Treating cavities provides them with a steady source of income. Likewise, exterminators are dependent on termites, lawyers need crimes, and priests are hungry for sinners. Lots of people have symbiotic connections with nasty stuff. In fact, isn't it true that most of us nurture our feelings for the things we love to despise and fear?

What's your favorite poison or adversary? Assume that your exposure to pronoia is changing you in ways that will require you to update your relationship with it. Speculate on how you'll go about this task.

French and Italian readers may have no problem with this horoscope. But Americans, Canadians, Brits, and Aussies might be offended, even grossed out. Why? Because my analysis of the astrological omens compels me to conclude that "moist" is a central theme for you right now. And research has shown that many speakers of the English language find the sound of the word "moist" equivalent to hearing fingernails scratching a chalkboard. If you are one of those people, I apologize. But the fact is, you will go astray unless you stay metaphorically moist. You need to cultivate an attitude that is damp but not sodden; dewy but not soggy; sensitive and responsive and lyrical, but not overwrought or weepy or histrionic.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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The factor most likely to drive us to addiction or illness is a lack of intimate contact with spirit. We all need a daily dose of vastness. Paradoxically, many of us would also benefit from more microscopic vision. Because we're so deprived of divine connection, we're half-dreaming all the time; our unconscious pining for the eternal source distracts us from the vivid little glories that are splayed out around us. And so we miss the Divine Wow from both directions.

Try this: Prime your connection with spirit by focusing your attention on tones and shapes you usually miss: reflections in windows, the sky between the oak tree's branches, the shadows on the water, the two different emotions in a friend's eyes and mouth.

Which signs of the zodiac are the most expert sleepers? Who best appreciates the healing power of slumber and feels the least shame about taking naps? Which of the twelve astrological tribes are most inclined to study the art of snoozing and use their knowledge to get the highest quality renewal from their time in bed? My usual answer to these questions would be Taurus and Cancer, but I'm hoping you Pisceans will vie for the top spot in the coming weeks. It's a very favorable time for you to increase your mastery of this supreme form of self-care.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Have you ever had permission to indulge in a marathon of braggadocio? Have you ever gotten an invitation to bluster on endlessly about your own charms without feeling even a touch of guilt or inhibition? I hereby grant you such a license right now.

When you're ready, carry out the exercise called Brag Therapy. Grab a good listener or a recording device, and boast extravagantly about yourself for at least 20 minutes. Expound in exhaustive detail why you're so wonderful and why the world would be a better place if everyone would just act more like you.

Don't be humble or cautious. Go too far. Heap extreme glory on yourself. Brazenly proclaim the fabulous qualities about you that no one has ever fully articulated or appreciated. Don't forget to extol the prodigious flaws and vices that make you so special.

What does this have to do with pronoia? When you audaciously identify your existing gifts, you set yourself up to become a magnet for even greater abundance. In fact, we recommend that you treat yourself to a Brag Therapy session regularly.

To whet your imagination, read an excerpt from the boast of Eric Baer, a participant in a Brag Therapy session I hosted in Milwaukee. "I have opposable thumbs," Eric exulted. "I can read. I breathe all the way through the night even though I'm asleep. I have access to emporiums where I can choose from 25 different brands of toilet paper. I know how to turn food into energy. I live where knuckleheads run everything and yet nothing ever blows up."