The 17th-century writer Rene Descartes is regarded as the father of modern philosophy and the founder of rationalism. His famous catchphrase is a centerpiece of the Western intellectual tradition: "I think, therefore I am." Here's what I find amusing and alarming about the man: He read almost nothing besides the Bible and the work of Catholic theologian Thomas Aquinas. He said that classic literature was a waste of time. Is that who we want at the heart of our approach to understanding reality? I say no. In accordance with the astrological omens, I authorize you to instead adopt one or both of the following formulas: "I feel, therefore I am" or "I dream, therefore I am."

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How's your fight for freedom going? Are you making progress in liberating yourself from your unconscious obsessions, bad habits, and conditioned responses? For assistance and inspiration, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Change yourself in the way you want everyone else to change
Love your enemies in case your friends turn out to be jerks
Avoid thinking about winning the lottery while making love
Brainwash yourself before someone nasty beats you to it
Confess big secrets to people who aren't very interested
Write a love letter to your evil twin during a lunar eclipse
Fool the tricky red beasts guarding the Wheels of Time
Locate the master codex and add erudite graffiti to it
Dream up wilder, wetter, more interesting problems
Change your name every day for a thousand days
Kill the apocalypse and annihilate Armageddon
Exaggerate your flaws till they turn into virtues
Brag about what you can't do and don't have
Get a vanity license plate that reads KZMYAZ
Bow down to the greatest mystery you know
Make fun of people who make fun of people