My readers Paul and Sophie wrote to let me know they have patched together three Latin words to invent a term for a new concept: vomfiabone. They say it means "a curse that becomes a blessing." Here's an example of the phenomenon at work in their lives: While driving home from work together, they experienced car trouble and had to pull over to the shoulder of the road, where they called a tow truck. Later they discovered that this annoying delay prevented them from getting caught in the middle of an accident just up ahead. Extrapolating from the current astrological omens, I'm guessing that you will experience at least one vomfiabone in the coming week, Leo.

You can still listen to my three-part, in-depth explorations of your long-range destiny. What hidden factors will be massaging your destiny in 2013? Could you use some hints about how to prepare for the adventures awaiting you in the next 12 months? Sign in to access the 'scopes here. A new short-term forecast for this week is also available.

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In the Western Hermetic version of the Qabala, every Hebrew letter is paired with a number, and so every word is also a number derived from the addition of its letters. Gematria is the practice of finding hidden resonance between words that have similar numerical values. Of the many poetic truths revealed through this art, one of my favorites is this: The Hebrew words for both "serpent" and "messiah" add up to 358.

Let's suppose this can be interpreted to mean that the snaky potency of your reproductive drive is potentially the source of your salvation. What implications might that have for how you cultivate the art of ecstasy?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.