"If you would hit the mark, you must aim a little above it," wrote nineteenth-century poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. "Every arrow that flies feels the attraction of the earth." This is good counsel for you to keep in mind during the coming weeks, Aries. I suspect you will have a good, clear shot at a target you've been trying to get close to for a long time. Make sure you adjust your trajectory to account for the attraction of the earth.

You can still listen to my three-part, in-depth explorations of your long-range destiny. What will be the story of your life in 2013? Are you ready to shed your superstitious fears about the future? Would you like to slip into the coming year armed with an influx of confidence and poise? Sign in to access the 'scopes here. A new short-term forecast for this week is also available.

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Meditate on the following rant, which Beauty and Truth Lab operatives put on flyers and tacked up on laundromat bulletin boards all over San Francisco:

"The Doctrine of Original Sin? We spit on it. We reject it. We renounce it and forget it and annihilate it from reality. In its place we embrace the Doctrine of Original Fun. This reformulation asserts that it is our birthright to commune with regular doses of curious beauty and tricky truth and insurrectionary love. A robust, heroic joy is even now roaring through us, bringing us good ideas about how to apply the metaphor of ingenious foreplay to everything we do. We will not waste this euphoric deluge on any of the million and one numbing little diversions that pass for pleasure among the ecstasy-starved pursuers of mediocre joy. Rather, we will remain ever alert for the call of primordial delight."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

If you learn a novel idea or a crucial new lesson while you are tipsy or outright blitzed, you will probably forget it when you sober up. And it will remain forgotten as long as you abstain. But there's a good chance you will recall the vanished information the next time you get loopy. I'm telling you this, Taurus, because even if you haven't been inebriated lately, you have definitely been in an altered and expanded state of consciousness. I'm afraid that when you come back down to earth in a few days, you might lose some of the luminous insights you've been adding to your repertoire. Is there anything you can do to ensure you will retain these treasures? It would be a shame to lose track of them until the next time your mind gets thoroughly blown open.

You can still listen to my three-part, in-depth explorations of your long-range destiny. What new influences will be headed your way in 2013? What fresh resources will you be able to draw on? How can you make best use of these influences and resources? Sign in to access the 'scopes here. A new short-term forecast for this week is also available.

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"The really important kind of freedom," said David Foster Wallace, "involves attention and awareness and discipline, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them over and over in myriad petty, unsexy ways every day."

Is that an interesting kind of freedom to you? Can you imagine any scenario in which practicing it would crack you open and pour you into an ecstatic state?
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The preceding oracle comes from my new book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Studying the movements of the planets is my main way of discerning the hidden currents of fate. I sometimes supplement my investigations by reading Tarot cards and the Chinese "Book of Changes," also known as the I Ching. To arrive at your horoscope this week, I used all of the above as well as the following forms of prognostication: catoptromancy, which is divination by gazing into a mirror underwater; cyclomancy, or divination by watching a wheel that's turning; geloscopy, divination by listening to random laughter; and margaritomancy, divination by observing bouncing pearls. Here's what I found, Gemini: You now have the power to discern previously unfathomable patterns in a puzzling mystery you've been monitoring. You also have the ability to correctly surmise the covert agendas of allies and adversaries alike. Maybe best of all, you can discover certain secrets you've been concealing from yourself.

You can still listen to my three-part, in-depth explorations of your long-range destiny. Do you understand just how much power you have to create the life you want to live in 2013? Are you fully aware of just how much access you have to new resources? Sign in to access the 'scopes here. A new short-term forecast for this week is also available.

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Poet Kay Ryan told the Christian Science Monitor how she cultivates the inspiration to write. She rouses the sense of a "self-imposed emergency," thereby calling forth psychic resources that usually materialize only in response to a crisis.

Please note that she doesn't provoke an actual emergency: She doesn't arrange to have a loved one get pinned beneath the wheels of a car. She doesn't climb out onto the window ledge on the 22nd story of a high-rise. Instead, she visualizes hypothetical situations that galvanize her to shift into a dramatically heightened state of awareness.

What imagined emergencies could you invoke to inspire your deep self to rise up and make its mark?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

"To be reborn is a constantly recurring human need," said drama critic Henry Hewes. I agree. We all need to periodically reinvent ourselves -- to allow the old ways to die so that we can resurrect ourselves in unforeseen new forms. According to my analysis, Cancerian, your next scheduled rebirth is drawing near. For best results, don't cling to the past; don't imitate what has always worked before. Instead, have faith that surrendering to the future will bring you the exact transformation you need.

You can still listen to my three-part, in-depth explorations of your long-range destiny. Would you like some inspiration as you muse and wonder about your upcoming adventures in 2013? Do you long to slip out of your habitual thoughts about your life and get a more transcendent view? Sign in to access the 'scopes here. A new short-term forecast for this week is also available.

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I love this excerpt from "The Seeker," a poem by Rilke in his Book of Hours (translated by Robert Bly): "I am circling around God, around the ancient tower, / and I have been circling for a thousand years, / and I still don't know if I am a falcon, or a storm, / or a great song." Here's my own permutation: "I am circling around love, around the throbbing hum, and I have been circling for thousands of days, and I still don't know if I am a wounded saint, or a rainy dawn, or a creation story."

Compose your own version.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

My readers Paul and Sophie wrote to let me know they have patched together three Latin words to invent a term for a new concept: vomfiabone. They say it means "a curse that becomes a blessing." Here's an example of the phenomenon at work in their lives: While driving home from work together, they experienced car trouble and had to pull over to the shoulder of the road, where they called a tow truck. Later they discovered that this annoying delay prevented them from getting caught in the middle of an accident just up ahead. Extrapolating from the current astrological omens, I'm guessing that you will experience at least one vomfiabone in the coming week, Leo.

You can still listen to my three-part, in-depth explorations of your long-range destiny. What hidden factors will be massaging your destiny in 2013? Could you use some hints about how to prepare for the adventures awaiting you in the next 12 months? Sign in to access the 'scopes here. A new short-term forecast for this week is also available.

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In the Western Hermetic version of the Qabala, every Hebrew letter is paired with a number, and so every word is also a number derived from the addition of its letters. Gematria is the practice of finding hidden resonance between words that have similar numerical values. Of the many poetic truths revealed through this art, one of my favorites is this: The Hebrew words for both "serpent" and "messiah" add up to 358.

Let's suppose this can be interpreted to mean that the snaky potency of your reproductive drive is potentially the source of your salvation. What implications might that have for how you cultivate the art of ecstasy?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

I bet that in the next five months you will be obliged to carry more responsibility than you have in the past. You will find it hard to get away with being lazy or careless. I suspect that during this time you will also have the privilege of wielding more influence. The effect you have on people will be more pronounced and enduring. In short, Virgo, your workload will be greater than usual -- and so will your rewards. To the degree that you serve the greater good, you will be a major player. As for next few weeks, you should concentrate on the work and service and responsibility part of this equation.

You can still listen to my three-part, in-depth explorations of your long-range destiny. What will be the story of your life in 2013? How can you exert your free will to create the adventures that'll bring out the best in you, even as you find graceful ways to cooperate with the tides of destiny? Sign in to access the 'scopes here. A new short-term forecast for this week is also available.

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Elijah, the beer truck driver who lives in the trailer with old tires, rusty tools, and the husk of a 1975 Chevy El Camino littering the driveway, tells me that everything he knows about God can be summed up in the bumper sticker on the back of the El Camino, which reads "Theresa and Johnny's Comfort Food -- Live Free or Die."

Mythologist Joseph Campbell, on the other hand, suggested we should imagine a deity to be like a floating ball of fire that would immediately kill anyone it touched.

Then there's the poet Rumi. He envisioned God as your tender Best Friend and Unpredictable Ally who's always as close as your own breath.

Which version do you prefer?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

Do you know what a "binky" is? It's what a rabbit does when it gets so crazily happy that it exuberantly leaps up into the air, stretching and twisting its body as it flicks and flops its feet. I'm not sure if lexicographers would allow us to apply this term to humans. But assuming they might, I'm going to predict that you'll soon be having some binky-inducing experiences. You're entering the Joy and Pleasure Season, Libra -- a time when abundant levels of fun and well-being might be quite normal.

You can still listen to my three-part, in-depth explorations of your long-range destiny. Do you really know how much power you have to create the life you want to live in 2013? Probably not. But I'd like to help you know about that power, and tap into it. Sign in to access the 'scopes here. A new short-term forecast for this week is also available.

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"Take time to stop and smell the flowers," says an old homily. Albert Hoffman, the Swiss scientist who discovered LSD and lived to age 102, had a different approach. "Take the time to stop and be the flowers," he said.

That's my advice to you. Don't just set aside a few stolen moments to sniff the snapdragons, taste the rain, chase the wind, watch the hummingbirds, and listen to a friend. Use your imagination to actually be the snapdragons and rain and wind and hummingbirds and friend. Don't just behold the Other; become the Other.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

You know that area on your back that you can't quite reach if you want to scratch it? It's called your acnestis. I propose that we make it your featured metaphor of the week. Why? Because I suspect you will have to deal with a couple of itchy situations that are just beyond your ability to relieve. Yes, this may be frustrating in the short run. But it will ultimately make you even more resourceful than you already are. By this time next week, you will have figured out alternative solutions that you haven't even imagined yet.

You can still listen to my three-part, in-depth explorations of your long-range destiny. What are your plans for the coming year? Could you use some more help mapping out your dreams and schemes? Sign in to access the 'scopes here. A new short-term forecast for this week is also available.

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Beauty and Truth Lab researcher Rebecca Rusche coined the word "careenstable." Here's her explanation of how it originated: "In high school, my mom used to let me use her VW Beetle to go to basketball practice. One night after practice, a friend and I were chatting and drinking Coke when we decided to see how fast we could get the Beetle going down a nearby dirt road. Soon we were careening at 65 mph, shouting 'careen!' every time we hit a bump and flew into the air.

"When we arrived back at the gym and got out of the car half an hour later, we saw my Coke can sitting on the front bumper next to the license plate. I nudged it softly to see if it was lodged in there, but it fell right off -- wasn't stuck at all. I thought, 'There must be a word for this magic,' and thus 'careenstable' was born. It came to mean anything that maintains its poise in the midst of wild, fast movement."

Give an example of how you could experiment with making careenstable work in your own life.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

"We need new friends," said essayist Logan Pearsall Smith. "Some of us are cannibals who have eaten their old friends up; others must have ever-renewed audiences before whom to re-enact an ideal version of their lives." Smith could have been talking about you Sagittarians in early 2013. According to my interpretation of the astrological omens, you need some fresh alliances. Their influence will activate certain potentials that you haven't been able to access or fully express with the help of your current circle.

You can still listen to my three-part, in-depth explorations of your long-range destiny. Who do you want to become in 2013? Where do you want to go and what do you want to do? I'm ready to help you muse about the interesting possibilities. Sign in to access the 'scopes here. A new short-term forecast for this week is also available.

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Sacred is trendy! Among the many recent books that invoke the concept are Sacred Flowers, The Sacred Art of Hunting, Sacred Hoops (about basketball), Sacred Monsters, Sacred Hunger, The Sacred Landscape, and Sacred Sexuality. It's fine with me, really. I'd like to sacralize the whole damn world.

There was one case, however, that tested even my capacity to find holy meaning everywhere: a class offered at the New Age Expo called "The Sacred Art of Publicity." When I saw that, I nearly spit out the gulp of goji berry and spirulina smoothie that I had just sipped. "What's next?" I thought. "Sacred shopping for automatic weapons? Sacred gambling at an Indian casino?" But in the next moment I had to admit that even those might be possible.

What's the most outlandish sacred act you can think of pulling off? Do it.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

A San Francisco writer named Maneesh Sethi decided he was wasting too much time on the Internet. His productivity was suffering. So he hired a woman to sit next to him as he worked and yell at him or slap his face every time his attention wandered off in the direction of Facebook or a funny video. It worked. He got a lot more done. While I would like to see you try some inventive approaches to pumping up your own efficiency, Capricorn, I don't necessarily endorse Sethi's rather gimmicky technique. Start brainstorming about some interesting yet practical new ways to enhance your self-discipline, please.

You can still listen to my three-part, in-depth explorations of your long-range destiny. What new influences will be headed your way in 2013? What fresh resources will you be able to draw on? Would you like some guidance as you figure out how to make best use of those influences and resources? Sign in to access the 'scopes here. A new short-term forecast for this week is also available.

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Many life processes unfold outside of your conscious awareness: your body digesting your food and circulating your blood; trees using carbon dioxide, water, and sunlight to synthesize their nourishment; microorganisms in the soil beneath your feet endlessly toiling to create humus. You don't perceive any of these things directly; they're invisible to you.

Tune in to this vitalizing alchemy. Use your X-ray vision and sub-sonic hearing and psychic smelling. See if you can absorb by osmosis some of the euphoria of the trees as they soak in the sunlight from above and water from below.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

"Ronnyjohnson618" is a guy who posts his opinions on a wide variety of Youtube videos. Many times, he claims to be an expert in the field he's commenting on. Responding to a live music performance, he says he's a conductor for an orchestra. Offering his opinion about a mimosa plant, he asserts that he is a botanist. Beneath other Youtube videos, he declares he is a meteorologist, chemist, psychologist, soldier, and geometry teacher. I love this guy's blithe swagger; I'm entertained by the brazen fun he's having. As you express yourself in the coming week, I recommend that you borrow some of his over-the-top audacity. Create a mythic persona. Imagine your life as an epic story. Play the part of a hero.

You can still listen to my three-part, in-depth explorations of your long-range destiny. How can you conspire with life to create the best possible future for yourself? What well-informed and ingenious approaches can you use to get the most out of the raw materials you're presented with? Sign in to access the 'scopes here. A new short-term forecast for this week is also available.

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In certain Native American traditions, the hole was a symbol for the female genitalia, through which souls enter this realm. In American scientific lore, a wormhole is a backdoor shortcut between two places in space separated by an astronomical distance. In my personal mythos, those are my two favorite nuances in the archetype of the hole.

When I was a kid I loved to fantasize that I'd obtained a magic hole like the one Bugs Bunny had in the comic books. It was a portable hole that Bugs could take with him everywhere and apply to any barrier he needed to slip through. Once he even managed to slap it up against the sky, giving him access to another dimension where the whole world was inside him, not outside. (Or was that a dream I had?)

What would you do with your portable magic hole?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.

The earliest performance artist on record was the ancient Greek philosopher Diogenes of Sinope. In one of his notorious stunts, he wandered around Athens with a lit lantern during the daytime, claiming to be looking for an authentic human being. I recommend that you undertake a similar search in the coming days, Pisces. You don't have to be as theatrical about it. In fact, it might be better to be quite discrete. But I think it's important for you to locate and interact with people who are living their lives to the fullest -- devoted to their brightest dreams, committed to their highest values, and sworn to express their highest integrity.

You can still listen to my three-part, in-depth explorations of your long-range destiny. As you plunge in to 2013, would you like to clarify your purpose? Are there fantasies playing at the back of your mind that you'd like to bring fully into your awareness? Sign in to access the 'scopes here. A new short-term forecast for this week is also available.

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"The people of future generations will win many a liberty of which we do not yet even feel the want," said German philosopher Max Stirner. See if you can become aware of an interesting freedom that has not previously been on your radar screen.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.