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Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny


Week of January 17th, 2013

♒ AQUARIUS

(January 20- February 18)
"Ronnyjohnson618" is a guy who posts his opinions on a wide variety of Youtube videos. Many times, he claims to be an expert in the field he's commenting on. Responding to a live music performance, he says he's a conductor for an orchestra. Offering his opinion about a mimosa plant, he asserts that he is a botanist. Beneath other Youtube videos, he declares he is a meteorologist, chemist, psychologist, soldier, and geometry teacher. I love this guy's blithe swagger; I'm entertained by the brazen fun he's having. As you express yourself in the coming week, I recommend that you borrow some of his over-the-top audacity. Create a mythic persona. Imagine your life as an epic story. Play the part of a hero.


You can still listen to my three-part, in-depth explorations of your long-range destiny. How can you conspire with life to create the best possible future for yourself? What well-informed and ingenious approaches can you use to get the most out of the raw materials you're presented with? Sign in to access the 'scopes here. A new short-term forecast for this week is also available.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
In certain Native American traditions, the hole was a symbol for the female genitalia, through which souls enter this realm. In American scientific lore, a wormhole is a backdoor shortcut between two places in space separated by an astronomical distance. In my personal mythos, those are my two favorite nuances in the archetype of the hole.

When I was a kid I loved to fantasize that I'd obtained a magic hole like the one Bugs Bunny had in the comic books. It was a portable hole that Bugs could take with him everywhere and apply to any barrier he needed to slip through. Once he even managed to slap it up against the sky, giving him access to another dimension where the whole world was inside him, not outside. (Or was that a dream I had?)

What would you do with your portable magic hole?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.