"Hello Dear Sir: I would like to place a large order for yellow chicken curry, cherry cream cheese cupcakes, and sour, malty Belgian golden ale. It's for my birthday party this Saturday, and will need to serve exactly 152 people. My agent will pick it up at 11 a.m. Please have it ready on time. - Ms. Lori Chandra." Dear Ms. Chandra: I am an astrologer, not a caterer, so I'm afraid I can't fulfill your order. It's admirable that you know so precisely what you want and are so authoritative about trying to get it; but please remember how crucial it is to seek the fulfillment of your desires from a source that can actually fulfill them. You're a Libra, right? Your birthday is this week? Thanks for giving me an excuse to send this timely message to all of your fellow Libras.

How are you going to change what needs to be changed and accept what needs to be accepted? To get some support from me, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.