There is a slight chance the following scenario will soon come to pass: A psychic will reveal that you have a mutant liver that can actually thrive on alcohol, and you will then get drunk on absinthe every day for two weeks, and by the end of this grace period, you will have been freed of 55 percent of the lingering guilt you've carried around for years, plus you will care 40 percent less about what people think of you. Extra bonus: You'll feel like a wise rookie who's ready to learn all about intimacy as if you were just diving into it for the first time. But get this, Pisces: There's an even greater chance that these same developments will unfold very naturally -- without the psychic, without the prediction about a mutant liver, and without the nonstop drunkenness.

Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be? For more clues, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
In response to our culture's ever-rising levels of noise and frenzy, rites of purification have become more popular. Many people now recognize the value of taking periodic retreats. Withdrawing from their usual compulsions, they go on fasts, avoid mass media, practice celibacy, or even abstain from speaking. While we applaud cleansing ceremonies like this, we recommend balancing them with periodic outbreaks of an equal and opposite custom: the Bliss Blitz.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.