In the early 20th century, many women at the beach covered most of their bodies with swimsuits made of wool. If they went in the water, they'd emerge about 20 pounds heavier. Swimming was a challenge. Your current psychic state has resemblances to what you'd feel like if you were wearing drenched woolen underwear and a drenched woolen clown suit and a drenched woolen robe. My advice? Take it off; take it all off. The astrological omens are clear: Whatever your reasons were for being in this get-up in the first place are no longer valid.

You can still listen to my long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny in 2011. Each report in the three-part series of EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES is 7-9 minutes long. A new short-term forecast for this week is also available. Sign in to access the 'scopes here.

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"I’ve been practicing radical authenticity lately," my friend Brandon told me. "I’m revealing the blunt truth about unmentionable subjects to everyone I know. It’s been pretty hellish -- no one likes having the social masks stripped away -- but it’s been ultimately rewarding."

"I admire your boldness in naming the currents flowing beneath the surface," I replied, "but I’m curious as to why you imply they’re all negative. To practice radical authenticity, shouldn’t you also express the raw truth about what’s right, good, and beautiful? Shouldn’t you unleash the praise and gratitude that normally go unspoken?"

Brandon sneered. He thought my version of radical authenticity was wimpy. I hope you don’t. As a budding lover of life, you have a mandate to be honest in both ways.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.