Author Gary Smalley says that the sexual nature of men is like a microwave oven, while women resemble a crockpot, the device that cooks food at low heat for a long time. Right about now, I'd advise you Leo men to be like crockpots not only in the bedroom but everywhere else, too. To spot the subtle opportunities that will be available, you'll have to be gradual, deliberate, and thorough. Leisurely foreplay should be your all-purpose metaphor. As for you Leo women: I'm betting there are ways that you have fallen under the sway of the microwave meme. If I'm right, it's time to fully re-embrace the spirit of the crockpot. Halloween costume clues: the tortoise, not the hare; a 400-page novel, not Twitter; the Pyramid of Khufu, not a sandcastle.

Need more whacks applied to your mental blocks? More caresses bestowed upon your growing edge? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT
Every January 1, many people make New Year's resolutions, promising to embark on programs of self-improvement. But your assignment now, should you choose to accept it, is to create a list of ANTI-resolutions.

Here are some questions to guide you: 1. What outlandish urges and controversial tendencies do you promise to cultivate in the coming months? 2. What nagging irritations will you ignore and avoid with even greater ingenuity? 3. What problems do you promise to exploit in order to have even more fun as you make the status quo accountable for its corruption? 4. What boring rules and traditions will you thumb your nose at, paving the way for exciting encounters with strange attractors?
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The preceding oracle comes from the revised and expanded edition of my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. You can order it at Amazon.