The world is once again falling deeply in love with you. Let's hope that on this occasion (unlike what happened the last two times) you will accept its adoration in the spirit in which it's given. Let's hope that if the world offers you the moon, the dawn, and the breeze, you won't reject these gifts and say that what you really wanted was a comet, the sunset, and a pie in the sky. There would be nothing sadder than to see the world suffer yet another case of unrequited love.

You can still listen to my long-range, in-depth explorations of your destiny in 2009. Each report in the three-part series of EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES is about 6-9 minutes long. A new forecast for this week is also available.

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Tune in to my free podcast, Evil Is Boring. Excerpted from my book, PRONOIA IS THE ANTIDOTE FOR PARANOIA, it's a meditation on why yawning might be an excellent response when you see another movie drenched with mayhem or another news story oozing pessimism.