Hell isn't an imaginary place dreamed up to scare the faithful, according to Pope Benedict XVI. He says sinners are actually tortured by fire for all eternity. My opinion is that his crazy talk is less worthy of consideration than the rants of the homeless guy downtown who thinks evil reptilian extraterrestrials have taken over George Bush's brain. To prime you for this week's advice, I ask you to purge any tendency you might have to believe in cartoony notions of hell like the Pope's. That will free you to meditate on the possibility that we do in fact ultimately suffer for the pain we cause others. Not by being literally tortured in a demonic realm, not at the hands of a "devil," but rather by the ugliness we have unleashed inside us. It's a good week for you to spend quality time in your personal hell, Cancerian, making up for any hurtful or greedy or unconscious things you may have done in 2007. (P.S. You're not any guiltier than the rest of us; it's just that this is a good time for you to atone.)

How much do you want to know about your destiny in the coming week? How far do you dare to go? For more insight into your intriguing fate, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES

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Pronoia means that even if we can’t see and don’t know, primal benefactors are plotting to emancipate us. The winds and tides are on our side, forever and ever, amen. The fire and rain are scheming to steal our pain. The sun and moon know our real names, and the animals pray for us while we’re dreaming. Do you believe in guardian angels and divine helpers? Whether you do or not, they’re always wangling to give you the gifts you don’t even realize you want. Can you guess how many humble humans are busy making things for you to use and enjoy?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.