An atheist won't be elected President of the United States anytime soon. Polls show that every other minority is viewed more favorably than the God-is-a-fraud crowd. I think that's a shame. Even though I myself am a big fan of the Creator, I'm sure She loves cynics who don't believe in her just as much as She loves the most pious worshipers. Furthermore, I suspect that Her good will is sorely tested by the "religious" fanatics who spread hatred in Her name. So what does this have to do with your current horoscope? This: My analysis of the astrological omens suggests that you'd be wise to do as I just did, which is to declare your support for people whose ideas you disagree with.

Want more clues? Need further insight? For more evocative questions and pithy suggestions about your destiny in the coming week, check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES

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May you eat an unfamiliar dessert in a strange land at least once every three years.

May you wake up to salsa music one summer morning, and start dancing while you're still half-asleep.

May you spray-paint Rilke poems as graffiti on highway overpasses.

May you mix stripes with plaids, floral patterns with checks, and yellowish-green with brownish-purple.

May you learn to identify by name 20 flowers, 15 trees, 10 clouds, and one extrasolar planet.

May you put a bumper sticker on your car or bike that says, "My god can kick your god's ass!"

If you bury your face in your tear-stained pillow and beg God to please send you your soul mate, may you not slur your words in such a way that they sound like "cell mate."

May you dream of taking a trip to the moon in a gondola powered by firecrackers and wild swans.

May you actually kiss the earth now and then.

May you find many good excuses to say what physicist Niels Bohr once did: "Your theory is crazy, but it's not crazy enough to be true."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.