Read these lines by Israeli poet Yehuda Amichai, translated by Chana Block and Stephen Mitchell: "A flock of sheep near the airport or a high voltage generator beside the orchard: these combinations open up my life like a wound, but they also heal it. That's why my feelings always come in twos." Draw inspiration from this passage. Rather than experiencing the riddles and contradictions of your life merely as painful schisms, think of them also as mysterious unifications.

Need a few more whacks applied to your mental blocks in the coming week? A few more caresses administered to your growing edge? Cruise on over to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES

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In the Greek epic, The Odyssey, Odysseus and his men become stranded on an island belonging to the sorceress Circe, who uses her magic to transform the men into pigs. Later, though, she changes them back into men—only they're younger and taller and better-looking than before they were pigs.

Tell an analogous story from your own life: an experience in which you were turned into a pig for a while, and became a more beautiful version of yourself when the spell was broken.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

During the lead up to Pennsylvania's election of a U.S. Senator in 2006, the leftist Green Party in Pennsylvania tried hard to get its candidate on the ballot. Facing almost insurmountable odds to raise the necessary funds, it turned to an unlikely source: conservative Republicans, who gladly and fiendishly contributed money in the hope that the Green Party's nominee would siphon votes away from their far more viable competitor, the Democratic candidate. I expect you may be able to pull off a similar coup in the coming weeks, Taurus: getting an adversary or opponent to aid and abet your cause.

Where do you want to go in the coming week? Who do you want to be? For more clues, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES

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Contrary to what the Bible says, it won't be the meek who shall inherit the earth. On the other hand, the arrogant power mongers won't collect the legacy either. Neither the indecisive wimps nor the acquisitive bullies will contribute much to creating the New World.

Who, then, will inherit the earth? What kind of human beings are best-equipped to thrive in the evolving game of life? We say it will be the well-disciplined pleasure-seekers who are in vigorous dialogue with their own dark sides, who balance the masculine and feminine aspects of their natures, and who master the fine arts of working at their play and playing at their work.

Assume our definition has some validity for you. What would you have to do to become more like one of the inheritors of the earth?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

Do you have a pet pig? If so, it'll be a good week to imitate what Homer Simpson did in The Simpsons Movie: Hold your animal friend upside-down and help it simulate the act of creeping along the ceiling, all the while singing a "Spiderpig" version of the Spiderman theme song. And if none of that seems meaningful or relevant to you, please at least try to induce a lucid dream of yourself crawling along the inside of the vault in the Sistine Chapel, or hauling your luggage across the underside of a cloud, or gliding as slowly as a sloth out to the end of a big limb on an oak tree. You need action that's simultaneously high up and reversed, Gemini. You've got to be grounded yet rebellious as you soar. Or you need to defy gravity as you take baby steps. Or something like that.

Want to explore the coming week even further? Dig deeper? Push harder? Consider tuning in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES

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Somewhere in the world is a tree that has been struck by lightning in such a way that the scorch marks show your initials. Find that tree.

Somewhere in this world, there is a treasure that has no value to anyone but you, and a secret that is meaningless to everyone except you, and a frontier that possesses a revelation only you know how to exploit. Go in search of those things.

Somewhere in this world, there is a person who could ask you the precise question you need to hear in order to catalyze the next phase of your evolution. Do what's necessary to run into that person.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

Though Wales is at the same latitude as Siberia, it's free of frigid tundra. Still, its climate isn't exactly balmy. Cool, cloudy, damp days are common. That's why Welsh horticulturalists cheered with shocked exultation last summer, when three outdoor banana plants produced fruit at the National Botanical Garden. It was an unprecedented miracle. I predict a comparable development for you, Cancerian. A source that has never been more than lukewarm will get downright tropical. An influence that has been inhospitable to your passion will become fertile and welcoming. As a result, you will bloom in a way you never have before.

Need more help with your riddles? Crave more support in your efforts to build your courage? Check out you EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES

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You are a metropolis of 50 trillion citizens, says biologist Dr. Bruce Lipton. Each of the cells in your body can be considered a sentient being in its own right. They all act together as a community, performing an ongoing act of prodigious collaboration. You are an epic collaboration.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

"A British study revealed that the average man spends a full six months of his life staring at women in a slack-jawed trance of frustrated desire," reported The Week magazine. That's the bad news. The good news? The omens suggest you have an extraordinary capacity right now to break any slack-jawed trance of frustrated desire you've been oppressed by. That's true whether you're a hetero man or any other kind of Leo. So identify the sad, unrequited longing that evokes your most poignant disappointment, and rise up to overthrow it. You've got the power to declare your independence.

No one knows you better than you do. But maybe you'll be inspired to dig up even more self-knowledge in the coming week if you tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES

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The Indian activist Mahatma Gandhi lead many peaceful rebellions against oppressive governments, first in South Africa and later in British-controlled India. At first he called his strategy "passive resistance," but later disavowed that term because it had negative implications. He ultimately chose the Sanskrit word satyagraha, meaning "love force" or "truth force." "Truth (satya) implies love," he said, "and firmness (agraha) is a synonym for force. Satyagraha is thus the force which is born of truth and love."

Give an example of how you have employed satyagraha in the past, and another example of how you might invoke it in the future.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

Lieutenant General Ricardo S. Sanchez, who was the supreme commander of U.S. troops in Iraq from June 2003 to July 2004, thinks his government has made tragic mistakes. Citing "a catastrophically flawed war plan," he said, "There has been a glaring display of incompetent strategic leadership from our national leaders." Sanchez is your role model for the coming week, Virgo. I hope he inspires you to do one of three things: (1) raise a critique of a group or institution you've been an instrumental part of; (2) rebel against the faulty execution of an idea you support; (3) put your service to moral truth above blind loyalty.

What greater adventure is there than exploring the enigmas of your unique destiny? For more hints about the week ahead, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES

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"Nothing's going right in my life. I feel anxious and paranoid all the time. My relationships are a mess." In my line of work, people make confessions like that to me. My first response is usually something like this: "Do you habitually gobble junk food near bedtime, steal a paltry five hours of sleep per night, gulp two cups of coffee and no breakfast in the morning, then bolt to a workplace where you get no sunlight or exercise and sit in an uncomfortable chair?" They often reply, "You must be psychic! How did you know?!" My point is that many psychological troubles stem from our chronic failure to take good care of our physical needs.

Name three things you can do to promote pronoia in yourself by taking better care of your body.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

It will be a good week to build your spiritual prowess by dancing on burning embers without getting scorched, by smashing bricks with your forehead without getting a headache, or by parachuting out of a plane without scaring yourself to death. But there are other, less physical ways to jolt yourself into a higher state of awareness; you don't need to risk injury in order to boost your ability to see the big picture. For example, you could push through the terror you feel about asking for what you really want. You could overcome your fear of being honest with people you care about. You could stride into a place where you once experienced a defeat, and take the forceful action necessary to render that loss irrelevant.

Got enough clues to chew on for a while? If you need more, give yourself the luxury of your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES

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While living in Manhattan in the 1950s, the avant-garde composer John Cage felt beleaguered by the omnipresence of radio sound. Rather than piss and moan, he wrote a musical piece that featured several radios tuned to different frequencies. After that, he was always able to respond to street radio noise with a pleasant sense of "They're playing my song."

In a way similar to Cage, transmute your relationship with something that annoys you so that it pleases you.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

I believe that doing the challenging assignments I'm about to describe will put you in alignment with cosmic rhythms, and make it more likely that you will attract grace and synchronicity into your life. You are, of course, under no obligation to carry them out. That's because you have free will, and are always at liberty to choose a path that leads you away from grace and synchronicity. With that as a caveat, here are the roles I believe you should play in the coming week if you'd like to thrive: a catalytic X-factor; a tender wild card; a friendly shocker; a nonviolent bombshell; an agent provocateur who loves all you survey.

How much do you want to know about your destiny in the coming week? How far do you dare to go? For more insight into your intriguing fate, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES

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Beauty and Truth Laboratory researcher Romney Austin adorned her Honda Civic with her first-ever bumper sticker, "Give Yourself to Love." While proud of announcing her compassionate philosophy to the world, she was also nervous. Hadn't she raised the pressure on herself to live up to her noble ideals?

A week later, she snapped. A guy chatting on a cell phone in a Lexus SUV cut her off in traffic, and road rage moved her to give him a middle-finger salute. Soon she added a new bumper sticker to the left of the first: "Get In, Sit Down, Shut Up, Hold On."

When I asked her about the contradiction, she confessed, "I've just accepted that I've got a split personality."

A week later, her conflicting sides reached a compromise. Romney pasted the word "and" in the space between the two stickers, to create a new thought: "Get In, Sit Down, Shut Up, Hold On, and Give Yourself to Love." She called to announce the good news: "I'm whole again!"
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

You now have a talent for seeing what has been invisible. You're good at ferreting out secrets and uncovering hidden agendas. In fact, you can generate good fortune for yourself by articulating the confusing truths and unconscious feelings that have been simmering in the shadows. There's another task for which you have an exceptional aptitude, Sagittarius: drawing long-term cycles to a graceful finish. You have the power to climax meandering dramas that have been resistant to closure; you can find resolution where everyone said there could only be messy ambiguity.

Want more help in exploring the Great Mystery that is your life? I discuss your coming week in greater depth in your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES

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In ancient Rome, gladiator contests were as popular as today's football games. The warriors back then were not hired heroes as they are now, however. They were slaves or convicts who were forced to fight. Even if they won, they were usually required to return and risk their lives another day. Now and then a grizzled veteran of countless struggles-to-the-death was awarded with the ultimate prize: a wooden sword, symbolizing the end of his role as a gladiator and the beginning of his life as a free man. I'm telling you this because I believe you have earned your own personal equivalent of the wooden sword. Make one for yourself.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

An atheist won't be elected President of the United States anytime soon. Polls show that every other minority is viewed more favorably than the God-is-a-fraud crowd. I think that's a shame. Even though I myself am a big fan of the Creator, I'm sure She loves cynics who don't believe in her just as much as She loves the most pious worshipers. Furthermore, I suspect that Her good will is sorely tested by the "religious" fanatics who spread hatred in Her name. So what does this have to do with your current horoscope? This: My analysis of the astrological omens suggests that you'd be wise to do as I just did, which is to declare your support for people whose ideas you disagree with.

Want more clues? Need further insight? For more evocative questions and pithy suggestions about your destiny in the coming week, check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES

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May you eat an unfamiliar dessert in a strange land at least once every three years.

May you wake up to salsa music one summer morning, and start dancing while you're still half-asleep.

May you spray-paint Rilke poems as graffiti on highway overpasses.

May you mix stripes with plaids, floral patterns with checks, and yellowish-green with brownish-purple.

May you learn to identify by name 20 flowers, 15 trees, 10 clouds, and one extrasolar planet.

May you put a bumper sticker on your car or bike that says, "My god can kick your god's ass!"

If you bury your face in your tear-stained pillow and beg God to please send you your soul mate, may you not slur your words in such a way that they sound like "cell mate."

May you dream of taking a trip to the moon in a gondola powered by firecrackers and wild swans.

May you actually kiss the earth now and then.

May you find many good excuses to say what physicist Niels Bohr once did: "Your theory is crazy, but it's not crazy enough to be true."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

Last week, my STARmeter ranking on the Internet Movie Database (imdb.com) shot up 56 percent. I don't know why. Maybe the movie I helped make in the 1990s finally got distributed in Eastern Europe or something. Even if you've never been involved in the motion picture industry, Aquarius, I'm betting your unofficial STARmeter will soon zoom up, too. The astrological omens suggest it may even be time for your 15 minutes of fame. At the very least, you'll find yourself in the spotlight or rising in the popularity polls or gossiped about twice as much as usual.

Want to hear more about the hidden factors influencing your life in the coming week? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES

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"If you bring forth the genius within you," said Jesus in the Gnostic Gospel of Thomas, "it will free you. If you do not bring forth the genius within you, it will destroy you." Is there any aspect of the genius within you that you're not bringing forth? If so, what can you do to change that?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.

The Arctic is heating up faster than the rest of the planet. As the ice melts, the far north's oil, natural gas, and diamonds are becoming more accessible to greedy humans. Russia has already planted its flag on the sea floor, hoping to lay claim to territory that has belonged to no one in particular up until now. Canada, America, and Denmark have also become players in this modern land grab. I predict that you will soon be dealing with a situation that has metaphorical resemblances to this development. Frozen assets will become available, and several parties will be caught up in a rush to appropriate them. If you truly believe you'd make best use of those riches, by all means formulate an aggressive action plan immediately.

What blessings will life bring you in the coming week? What challenges will you be invited to dive into? To explore the ripening trends further, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES

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In an article about storytellers in the Los Angeles Times, Leslie Berger profiled a high school teacher named Luigi Jannuzzi. "He once saved the life of a student who was choking on a Life Saver," Berger wrote, "and thus discovered his own gift of gab: He told the kid a joke so funny that his laughter popped the candy out of his throat."

Make up a story in which your sense of humor saves someone's life.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Powells.