"Dear Love Doctor: Please send a divine slap upside the head to the clueless guy I'm in a half-assed relationship with. He's GOT to wake up to the fact that it's high time to let someone, namely me, shower him with love. I mean, all the magic's in place. With just a flick of his attitude, he could materialize me whipping up gourmet Cajun cuisine in his new kitchen--not to mention spicing up every other room in his house. Love Doctor, please cast a spell to get him in alignment with cosmic necessity. -Overripe Taurus." Dear Overripe: I appreciate the ability you Bulls have right now to envision the best and brightest possibilities for your relationships. However, it's crucial that you give everyone the freedom to bumble along, even if it means that for now they'll be out of sync with the wonders you can imagine.

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Write the following on a piece of paper and keep it under your pillow. "I, [put your name here], do solemnly swear on this day [put date here] that I will devote myself for a period of seven days to learning my most important desire. No other thought will be more uppermost in my mind. No other concern will divert me from tracking down every clue that might assist me in my drive to ascertain the one experience in this world that deserves my brilliant passion above all others."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Barnes & Noble.