Recently uncovered evidence seems to confirm the argument that Christopher Columbus was a cruel, stupid tyrant who paved the way for the genocide of Native Americans. But that's not the part of his story I want to bring to your attention right now, Aries. Rather, I'd like you to meditate on the wisdom of the bumper sticker I just saw: "Columbus did not know where he was going. When he got back, he didn't know where he had been. But he had a great adventure. And he did it all on borrowed money. There's hope for all of us." Given your current astrological omens, there's substantial hope for you to pull off a feat comparable to the one the bumper sticker describes.

Do you want further explorations of the intriguing twists and turns of your personal evolution? Check out my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES

My DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES are my short, sweet astrological revelations delivered seven days a week to your cell phone or mobile device.

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Jungian analyst Arnold Mindell explores the relationship between mind and body. He believes you can achieve optimum physical health if you're devoted to shedding outworn self-images. In his book The Shaman's Body, he says, "You have one central lesson to learn—to continuously drop all your rigid identities. Personal history may be your greatest danger."

Kate Bornstein, author of Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women and the Rest of Us, agrees. Raised as a male, she later became a female, but ultimately renounced gender altogether. "I love being without an identity," she says. "It gives me a lot of room to play around."

What identities would be healthy for you to lose? Describe all the fun you'd have if you were free of them.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Barnes & Noble.

"Dear Love Doctor: Please send a divine slap upside the head to the clueless guy I'm in a half-assed relationship with. He's GOT to wake up to the fact that it's high time to let someone, namely me, shower him with love. I mean, all the magic's in place. With just a flick of his attitude, he could materialize me whipping up gourmet Cajun cuisine in his new kitchen--not to mention spicing up every other room in his house. Love Doctor, please cast a spell to get him in alignment with cosmic necessity. -Overripe Taurus." Dear Overripe: I appreciate the ability you Bulls have right now to envision the best and brightest possibilities for your relationships. However, it's crucial that you give everyone the freedom to bumble along, even if it means that for now they'll be out of sync with the wonders you can imagine.

Do you want further explorations of the intriguing twists and turns of your personal evolution? Check out my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES

My DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES are my short, sweet astrological revelations delivered seven days a week to your cell phone or mobile device.

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Write the following on a piece of paper and keep it under your pillow. "I, [put your name here], do solemnly swear on this day [put date here] that I will devote myself for a period of seven days to learning my most important desire. No other thought will be more uppermost in my mind. No other concern will divert me from tracking down every clue that might assist me in my drive to ascertain the one experience in this world that deserves my brilliant passion above all others."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Barnes & Noble.

The last few drops remaining in your chalice will soon evaporate. Your luxurious indoor swimming pool (you know, the one in your fantasies) has barely enough water left in it to give a water bug traction. And you haven't reached out your arms and cupped your hands in a gesture of feisty anticipation for far too long. So what are you going to do about it all, Gemini? Here's what I suggest: FILL 'ER UP! (P.S. The gas tank of the flying car you sometimes take for a spin in your dreams is also on empty.)

Do you want further explorations of the intriguing twists and turns of your personal evolution? Check out my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES

My DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES are my short, sweet astrological revelations delivered seven days a week to your cell phone or mobile device.

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Everyone influences the world in some way. No matter how powerless we may feel, each of us is a creator who continually churns out energy that bends and shapes our world and the people in it. What is the signature of your effect? How do you change the environments you pass through? What magic, for good or ill, do you exude from day to day?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Barnes & Noble.

Pay close attention to how your immediate past impacts the present. Just as the food you ate in the previous two days plays a large role in determining your physical energy today, your current mood has been shaped by the psychic environment you've been creating for yourself recently. Here's the really cool thing: You always have a choice. You can decide to fuel yourself with unhealthy food, mediocre fantasies, and petty emotions, or you can scrupulously insist on high-class, first-rate stuff that will make you feel good.

Do you want further explorations of the intriguing twists and turns of your personal evolution? Check out my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES

My DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES are my short, sweet astrological revelations delivered seven days a week to your cell phone or mobile device.

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Have you ever played the game of "Tell me the story of your scars?" It's best to do it with a skilled empath who is curious about your fate's riddles and skilled at helping you find redemption in your wounds.

"How'd you get that blotch on your knee?" he or she might begin, and you describe the time in childhood when you fell on the sidewalk. Then maybe he or she would say, "Why do you always look so sad when you hear that song?" And you narrate the tale of how it was playing when an old lover broke your heart. The questions and answers continue until you unveil the history of your hurts, both physical and psychic. Treat yourself to this game soon.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Barnes & Noble.

In his book Thumbsucker, Walter Kirn explores the tension between security and passion. We all yearn to feel safe, he says, and yet we also need to express our native wildness, which is crucial in giving us a visceral sense of being ourselves. If we put too much emphasis on being careful, we squelch our primal urge for unpredictability and lose touch with our need to play. According to my analysis of the omens, Leo, you're at the end of a phase when caution and self-preservation have made sense. Don't wait too much longer before you put your ass on the line in search of too much fun.

Do you want further explorations of the intriguing twists and turns of your personal evolution? Check out my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES

My DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES are my short, sweet astrological revelations delivered seven days a week to your cell phone or mobile device.

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"Love is being stupid together," said French poet Paul Valéry. While there's an element of truth to that, it's too corny and decadent for my tastes. I prefer to focus on a more interesting truth, which is this: Real love is being smart together. If you weave your destiny together with another's, he or she should catalyze your sleeping potentials, sharpen your perceptions, and boost both your emotional and analytical intelligence. Your relationship becomes a crucible in which you deepen your understanding of the way the world works.

Think of an example of your closest approach to this model in your own life. Then formulate a vow in which you promise you'll do what's necessary to more fully embody the principle "love is being smart together."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Barnes & Noble.

The Delaware Gap National Recreation Area in Pennsylvania has an outhouse that cost $333,000 to build. It's a two-hole beauty with a roof constructed from slate mined in Vermont, porch railings built out of Indiana limestone, and an indestructible cobblestone foundation. This is your symbol of power for the coming week, Virgo. May it inspire you to devote elegant, sumptuous attention to one of your most basic needs.

Do you want further explorations of the intriguing twists and turns of your personal evolution? Check out my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES

My DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES are my short, sweet astrological revelations delivered seven days a week to your cell phone or mobile device.

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"The more accidental, the more true," wrote Boris Pasternak in his poem "February." Scholar Mikhail Epstein expanded this observation: "The more accidental the phenomenon, the more divine its nature, for the divine is what has not been envisioned, what cannot be deduced from general rules, nor irreducible to them."

If we pursue this line of thought to its logical conclusion, we may decide that the most useful sources of illumination are not always holy books, revered dogma, and great truths that everyone has heard. They might also be serendipitous anomalies that erupt into the daily routine and break the trance of ordinary awareness. "The tiny spark," Epstein writes, "is the precise measure of the holiness of the world."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Barnes & Noble.

The film The Englishman Who Went Up The Hill But Came Down A Mountain is set in Wales in 1917. Two English cartographers arrive in a small town to evaluate whether the local peak is really high enough to be officially defined as a mountain. To the villagers' consternation, their beloved landmark is found to be less than the regulation 1,000 feet--a mere hill--and that prompts them to take action. With painstaking determination, they haul buckets of dirt from their gardens all the way to the top, hoping to raise it high enough to exceed the standard. This scenario is comparable to a challenge I hope you'll take on, Libra. Please do whatever's necessary to ensure your hill is actually a mountain.

Do you want further explorations of the intriguing twists and turns of your personal evolution? Check out my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES

My DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES are my short, sweet astrological revelations delivered seven days a week to your cell phone or mobile device.

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Robin Norwood's self-help book Women Who Love Too Much deals with a theme that has gotten a lot of play in recent decades: If you're too generous to someone who doesn't appreciate it and at the expense of your own needs, you can make yourself sick.

An alternative perspective comes from French philosopher Blaise Pascal, who said, "When one does not love too much, one does not love enough." He was primarily addressing psychologically healthy altruists, but it's a good ideal for pronoia lovers to keep in mind.

Decide whether you need to move more in the direction of Norwood's or Pascal's advice. Develop a game plan to carry out your resolve, then take action.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Barnes & Noble.

You were standing in the doorway with your crooked smile as big and wild as the morning light. I was spellbound--lost all memory of who I'd been before that moment. You were as shockingly real as the perfect giant spider web stretched across my front porch when I left my house today. Did I hallucinate what you said as you murmured into your cell phone? Or did you really say, "I'm looking for someone who'll teach me how to live forever as we make love with exploding hearts"? That was too sweet and fierce to bear. So here's my loving complaint, which is also my bragging promise: I want you so much I want to be you. I adore you with such painful lucidity that I think I could learn how to find you in every bird's cry, every cloud's flow, every changing face.

Do you want further explorations of the intriguing twists and turns of your personal evolution? Check out my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES

My DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES are my short, sweet astrological revelations delivered seven days a week to your cell phone or mobile device.

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The Italian city of Florence harbors the richest trove of art treasures in the world. Its many museums are hot spots for outbreaks of a rare psychological disorder. Foreign tourists sometimes experience breakdowns while standing in the presence of the tremendous beauty, and are rushed to the psychiatric ward of Florence’s Santa Maria Nuova Hospital.

"Many visitors panic before a Raphael painting," reports Reuters. "Others collapse at the feet of Michelangelo’s statue of David." Psychiatrists have referred to this pathology as the Stendahl Syndrome, named after the French novelist who wrote about his emotional breakdown during a visit to the city’s art collection in 1817.

As you embark on your explorations of pronoia, you should protect yourself against this risk. Proceed cautiously as you expose yourself to the splendor that has been invisible or unavailable to you all these years.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Barnes & Noble.

A storm has been stirring up your inner world. Tune into it now. Feel its blustering squall. Bow down to its pummeling howl. Let your awe and amazement rise as you contemplate how much power it has had to disturb you. Feel gratitude for all the ways it has forced you to become tougher and cagier. Now imagine that the storm is beginning to dissipate. Sense it slowly but surely losing its force, spending its last fury. Soon it will have evolved into a misty drizzle. Tomorrow morning, I bet you will awaken filled with the relaxed clarity that comes after having great sex.

Do you want further explorations of the intriguing twists and turns of your personal evolution? Check out my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES

My DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES are my short, sweet astrological revelations delivered seven days a week to your cell phone or mobile device.

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"We are attracted to people who express the qualities we deny or repress in ourselves," says creativity expert Shakti Gawain. Using this idea as your hypothesis, take an inventory of the people you’re most drawn to. Ask yourself whether they have talents and dreams that you wish could come alive in you. If you find this to be the case, consider the possibility that it’s time to claim those talents or dreams as your own.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Barnes & Noble.

"It was so much easier when I was cruel," mourns Elvis Costello in his song "When I Was Cruel." Writing about the aching protectiveness she feels toward her precious son Sam in her book Operating Instructions, Anne Lamott expresses a related gripe: "I feel that he has completely ruined my life, because I just didn't used to care all that much." A similar predicament may soon visit you, Capricorn. Thanks to several close encounters with other people's pain, you may swell up with compassion and empathy. Will you get soft and weak like Costello and Lamott? According to my reading of the omens, you won't. On the contrary, I think you'll become stronger and smarter.

Do you want further explorations of the intriguing twists and turns of your personal evolution? Check out my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES

My DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES are my short, sweet astrological revelations delivered seven days a week to your cell phone or mobile device.

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Declare amnesty for the part of you that you don’t love very well. Forgive that poor sucker. Hold its hand and take it out to dinner and a movie. Tactfully offer it a chance to make amends for the dumb things it has done. And then do a dramatic reading of this proclamation by the playwright Theodore Rubin: "I must learn to love the fool in me--the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries. It alone protects me against that utterly self-controlled, masterful tyrant whom I also harbor and who would rob me of human aliveness, humility, and dignity but for my fool."
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Barnes & Noble.

Goose bumps and burning sensations coursed through me as I meditated on your upcoming adventures. From what I can tell, your rambles will be both spooky and fulfilling. They'll knock you on your ass and lift your spirits, sometimes at the same time. They'll give you almost more blessings than you can handle, even as they invite you to take on responsibilities that will give you the chance to be a hero. Are you ready to have your certainties challenged in the most useful ways possible?

Do you want further explorations of the intriguing twists and turns of your personal evolution? Check out my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES

My DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES are my short, sweet astrological revelations delivered seven days a week to your cell phone or mobile device.

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If you're typical, your natural curiosity was virtually extinguished at an early age by mediocre teachers, boring lessons, and oppressive classrooms. Have you ever wondered what your life would be like if your imagination hadn't been squelched? What interesting adventures might you have sought out if your natural love of learning hadn't been crushed?

Let's launch a quest to undo the damage. Imagine I've handed you an undiploma: your official release from the soul-death of your formal education; the beginning of the healing of your wounded love of learning. What's the first thing you'll do to invoke a steady stream of inspired teachers and invigorating lessons?
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Barnes & Noble.

A cat doesn't usually catch a mouse on its first pounce. On average, the kill takes three pounces. I hope this fun fact inspires you to avoid the temptation to prematurely retire from your hunt. It's true that the treasure you're pursuing has eluded you beyond the time you thought you would have gotten it. It's also true that the frustration you're feeling threatens to dilute the intense concentration you need to complete the quest. But now that you've read my exhortation, maybe you'll see that you're closer to capturing the prize than you realize; maybe you'll marshal your energy and prime yourself to pounce as many more times as it'll take.

Do you want further explorations of the intriguing twists and turns of your personal evolution? Check out my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES

My DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES are my short, sweet astrological revelations delivered seven days a week to your cell phone or mobile device.

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After seeing the temple of Artemis in Ephesus, the ancient writer Philo of Byzantium wrote, "He who has laid eyes on it will be convinced that the world of the immortal gods has moved from heaven to earth."

Seek out an experience that provokes an equally breathtaking response in you. Or do whatever you can to generate feelings of sincere reverence and awe.
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The preceding oracle comes from my book, PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. It's available at Amazon or Barnes & Noble.