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Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny
Week of March 28th, 2024
♐ SAGITTARIUS
(November 22-December 21)
I command you to love Jesus and Buddha! If you don’t, you will burn in Hell! APRIL FOOL! I was just kidding. I was being sensationalistic to grab your attention. Here’s my real, true oracle for you: Love everybody, including Jesus and Buddha. And I mean love them all twice as strong and wild and tender. The cosmic powers ask it of you! The health of your immortal soul depends on it! Yes, Sagittarius, for your own selfish sake, you need to pour out more adoration and care and compassion than you ever have before. I’m not exaggerating! Be a lavish Fountain of Love!
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SECOND CHANCE! If you missed the opportunity to hear my BIG-PICTURE, LONG-TERM AUDIO HOROSCOPES FOR 2024, I am making them available again for a week.
Log in as usual, scroll down a bit, and click on Part 1, Part 2, and/or Part 3 of your sign's Long-Term prediction. They all cover different ground. You don't need to hear the other two if just want to listen to one. But hearing all three is triple the fun.
You can also listen to an Expanded Audio Horoscope for the coming week.
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SECOND CHANCE! If you missed the opportunity to hear my BIG-PICTURE, LONG-TERM AUDIO HOROSCOPES FOR 2024, I am making them available again for a week.
Log in as usual, scroll down a bit, and click on Part 1, Part 2, and/or Part 3 of your sign's Long-Term prediction. They all cover different ground. You don't need to hear the other two if just want to listen to one. But hearing all three is triple the fun.
You can also listen to an Expanded Audio Horoscope for the coming week.