For a limited time only, you have permission from the cosmos to be a wildly charismatic egomaniac who brags incessantly and insists on getting your selfish needs met at all times and in all places. Please feel free to have maximum amounts of narcissistic fun, Cancerian! APRIL FOOL! I was exaggerating a bit, hoping to offer you medicinal encouragement so you will stop being so damn humble and self-effacing all the time. But the truth is, now is indeed an excellent time to assert your authority, expand your clout, and flaunt your potency and sovereignty.

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SECOND CHANCE! If you missed the opportunity to hear my BIG-PICTURE, LONG-TERM AUDIO HOROSCOPES FOR 2024, I am making them available again for a week.

Log in as usual, scroll down a bit, and click on Part 1, Part 2, and/or Part 3 of your sign's Long-Term prediction. They all cover different ground. You don't need to hear the other two if just want to listen to one. But hearing all three is triple the fun.

You can also listen to an Expanded Audio Horoscope for the coming week.