Never underestimate your power to change yourself

Never underestimate your power to change yourself.

—H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

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The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.

—Carl Rogers




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YOUR DARK SIDE MAY BE SWEET AND CREAMY

Fantasize that your so-­called "dark side" is sweet and creamy.

When you come home after a day of triumphs, take out the garbage.

Dream ­you're a red-tailed hawk soaring over a shopping mall.

Forgive yourself for the blindness that put you in the path
of those who betrayed you.

Thank your mother for the pain she endured while birthing you.

Visualize two versions of yourself, one male and one female, holding hands as they gaze into a reflection of the moon on a river.





RAMBLING PRONOIA THERAPY

Experiments and exercises in becoming a weirdly sane, fiercely tender, wisely innocent Master of Beautiful Truths

1. Imagine that you have been relieved of your responsibilities for a given time. They will be taken care of by people you trust. You won't have to work to make money during this grace period, but will be given all you need. Nor will you have to clean your house, wash your clothes, or buy and make your food.

Now here's the big question: What will you do now that you are free to do anything you like?

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2. According to Jewish legend, there are in each generation 36 righteous humans who prevent the rest of us from being destroyed. Through their extraordinary good deeds and their love of the divine spark, they save the world over and over again.

They're not famous saints, though. They go about their business anonymously, and no one knows how crucial they are to our well-being.

Might you be one of the 36? As a temporary experiment, act as if you are.

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3. A thousand years from today, everyone you know will be long dead and forgotten. There'll be nothing left of the life you love, no evidence that you ever walked this planet. That, at least, is what the fundamentalist materialists would have you believe.

But suppose the truth is very different? What if in fact every little thing you do subtly alters the course of world history?

What if your day-to-day decisions will actually help determine how the human species navigates its way through the epic turning point we're living through?

And finally, what if you will be alive in a thousand years, reincarnated into a fresh body and in possession of the memories of the person you were back in this era?

These are my hypotheses. These are my prophecies. That's why I say: Live as if your soul is eternal.

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4. Provide evidence proving or disproving the following four hypotheses:

1. If you're not part of the grueling solution, you're probably part of the insidiously comfortable problem.

2. If you're not conspiring to commit smart fun, you're almost certainly colluding with the disingenuous repression.

3. If you're not trying to rally support for a tough investigation, you'll end up assisting the bland cover-up.

4. If you're not mad about how unconstructively you've used your anger in the past, then you won't be motivated to wield it more creatively any time soon.

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5. Many life processes unfold outside of your conscious awareness: your body digesting your food and circulating your blood; trees using carbon dioxide, water, and sunlight to synthesize their nourishment; microorganisms in the soil beneath your feet endlessly toiling to create humus. You don't perceive any of these things directly; they're invisible to you.

Tune in to this vitalizing alchemy. Use your X-ray vision and sub-sonic hearing and psychic smelling. See if you can absorb by osmosis some of the euphoria of the trees as they soak in the sunlight from above and water from below.

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6. Beauty and Truth Lab researcher Rebecca Rusche coined the word "careenstable." Here's her explanation of how it originated:

"In high school, my mom used to let me use her VW Beetle to go to basketball practice. One night after practice, a friend and I were chatting and drinking Coke when we decided to see how fast we could get the Beetle going down a nearby dirt road. Soon we were careening at 65 mph, shouting 'careen!' every time we hit a bump and flew into the air.

"When we arrived back at the gym and got out of the car half an hour later, we saw my Coke can sitting on the front bumper next to the license plate. I nudged it softly to see if it was lodged in there, but it fell right off—wasn't stuck at all. I thought, 'There must be a word for this magic,' and thus 'careenstable' was born. It came to mean anything that maintains its poise in the midst of wild, fast movement."

Give an example of how you could experiment with making careenstable work in your own life.

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7. "As above, so below" is the maxim at the heart of the Western Hermetic tradition. It implies that the nature of the cosmos is intimately reflected here on Earth—and vice versa.

Everything we imagine to be far away and "out there" has a parallel in the here and now. A miniature heaven resides within each of us, although we may not yet have activated its full potential. Astrologers go so far as to say that we all contain the spiritual essences of the planets.

A little bit of Mars lives in your reproductive system and the corresponding parts of your psyche; Jupiter inhabits your solar plexus and feeds your will.

At the Beauty and Truth Lab, we act as if the hypothesis "as above, so below" is a useful perceptual filter. We urge pronoia lovers to experiment with it in the course of their daily practice.

Now and then, though, we recommend that you exercise caution about promoting unity. Writer Hanna Blank sets the right tone. "My cat attempted to adorn a prayer rug with a hairball, and I had to stop her," she says. "There are some instances in which we do not wish all things to be interconnected."

What things don't you want interconnected?

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8. Question: Which part of you is too tame, overcivilized, and super-domesticated, and what are you going to do about it?

Answer, from a reader named Jason R.: "I was like a mole in a suburban backyard. I had just one little path I trod each day: to the compost pile and back. I chewed on orange rinds and leftover cabbage. I was tamed by the comfort of my familiar environment, content to have a narrow vision.

"But then I was eaten by a hawk, and became part of a wild, free body. Now I perch on the tops of trees and the peaks of roofs. I survey giddy-wide horizons, from the river to the mesa and far beyond. I have a wealth of choices.

"Where to fly? What to hunt? Who are my allies? My thoughts breathe deep, like the slow explosion of sun on the morning lake."

How would you answer the same question?

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9. Confounding lessons and delightful shocks have been increasing in frequency during the recent past and will continue to do so in the foreseeable future.

In light of that fact, you may want to find some new ways to express your amazement. Clichés like "Jesus H. Christ!" or "Holy crap!" or "What the fuck?!" may not be sufficient to capture the full impact of the aha! moments.

To get you launched in the right direction, I'll suggest a few fresh exclamations. They're not designed to become tried-and-true replacements for the lazy phrases you're using now, but are rather meant to jog your imagination and inspire you to conjure up a constantly changing variety of ever-fresh invocations.

Now see how these roll off your tongue: "Great Odin's raven!" "Radical lymphocytes!" "Cackling whacks of jibber-jabber!" "Frosty heat waves!" "Panoramic serpentine!"

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10. The Beauty and Truth Lab term "blisssavvvy" means "highly skilled at inducing states of rapture, synergy, and ecstatic empathy." Do you have any ideas about how you could cultivate blisssavvvy?

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11. Check out this excerpt from "Those Who Do Not Dance," by Chilean poet Gabriela Mistral: "God asked from on high, / 'How do I come down from this blueness?' / We told Him: / come dance with us in the light."

I love this passage because it reminds me that nothing is ever set in stone; everything is always up for grabs. Even God needs to be open to change and eager for fresh truths. Furthermore, even we puny humans may on occasion need to be God's teacher and helper.

Likewise, we can never be sure about what lowly or unexpected sources might bring us the influences we require.

What do Mistral's words mean to you? Imagine you're the "God" referenced in the poem. What blueness are you ready to come down from, and who might invite you to dance in their light?





WANT TO GO DEEPER?

Experiment: Present the following dare to a person or persons with whom you would like to go deeper: "You think you know me, but it's possible you know just a tantalizing fraction. Would you like to experience the rest of the story?"

And if anyone expresses interest, take him or her on a tour. Reveal the sides of you that are too mysteriously interesting to show the general public, or too intimate to reveal to anyone you don't trust, or so potent they might intimidate those who don't have a lot of self-possession.





INNER WORK?

What do you need to kill off in yourself in order to tune in to the beauty that’s hidden from you?

What worn-out shticks are blinding you to the blessings that life is conspiring to give you?

Which of your acerbic theories may have been useful and even brilliant in the past but are now keeping you from becoming aware of the ever-fresh creation that unfolds before you?





HOW CAN YOU PARTICIPATE IN THE REDEMPTION OF THE HUMAN SPIRIT?

Terence McKenna wrote: "We each must become like fishermen, and go out onto the dark ocean of mind, and let your nets down into that sea.

"And what you're after is not some behemoth that will tear through your nets, foul them, and drag you and your little boat into the abyss.

"Nor are what we looking for a bunch of sardines, that can slip through your net and disappear, ideas like 'have you ever noticed that your little finger exactly fits your nostril' and stuff like that.

"What we are looking for are middle-sized ideas that are not so small that they are trivial, and not so large that they are incomprehensible, but middle-sized ideas that we can wrestle into our boat and take back to the folks on shore, and have fish dinner.

"And everyone of us, this is what we should be looking for. It's not for your elucidation, it's not part of your self-directed psychotherapy; you are an explorer, and you represent our species.

"And the greatest good you can do is to bring back a new idea, because our world is endangered by the absence of good ideas. Our world is in crisis because of the absence of consciousness.

"And so, to whatever degree, any one of us can bring back a small piece of the picture, and contribute it to the building of the new paradigm. Then we participate in the redemption of the human spirit."

—Terence McKenna





Devotional Pronoia Therapy

Experiments and exercises in becoming a gracefully probing, erotically funny, shockingly friendly Master of Orgasmic Empathy

1. A common obstruction to a vital intimate relationship is what I call the assumption of clairvoyance. You imagine, perhaps unconsciously, that your partner or friend is somehow magically psychic when it comes to you—so much so that he or she should unfailingly intuit exactly what you need, even if you don't ask for it. This fantasy may seem romantic, but it can undermine the most promising alliances.

To counteract any tendencies you might have to indulge in the assumption of clairvoyance, practice stating your desires aloud.

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2. "For a relationship to stay alive," writes James Hillman, "love alone is not enough. Without imagination, love stales into sentiment, duty, boredom. Relationships fail not because we have stopped loving but because we first stopped imagining."

Make this your hypothesis. The next time you sense that you're about to say the same old thing to your closest ally, interrupt yourself and head off in the direction of storyland.

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3. Robin Norwood's self-help book Women Who Love Too Much deals with a theme that rightfully gets a lot of play: If you're too generous to someone who doesn't appreciate it and at the expense of your own needs, you can make yourself sick.

An alternative perspective comes from philosopher Blaise Pascal, who said, "When one does not love too much, one does not love enough." He was primarily addressing psychologically healthy altruists, but it's a fertile ideal for pronoia lovers to keep in mind.

Decide whether you need to move more in the direction of Norwood's or Pascal's advice. Develop a game plan to carry out your resolve, then take action.

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4. Play the game called "Tell me the story of your scars." It's best to do it with a skilled empath who is curious about your fate's riddles and skilled at helping you find redemption in your wounds.

"How did you get that blotch on your knee?" he or she might begin, and you describe the time in childhood when you fell on the sidewalk.

Then maybe he or she would say, "Why do you always look so sad when you hear that song?" And you'd narrate the tale of how it was playing when an old lover broke your heart.

The questions and answers continue until you unveil the history of your hurts, both physical and psychic. Treat yourself to this game soon.

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5. Some hetero men believe they won't find romantic happiness unless they hook up with a woman who resembles a supermodel. Their libidos were imprinted at a tender age by our culture's narrow definition of what constitutes female beauty. They steer clear of many fine women who don't fit their ideal.

The addiction to a physical type is not confined to them, though. Some straight women, for instance, wouldn't think of dating a bald, short guy, no matter how interesting he is.

And there are people of every gender and sexual preference who imagine that their attraction to the physical appearance of a potential partner is the single most important gauge of compatibility. This delusion is a common cause of bad relationships.

The good news is that anyone can outgrow their instinctual yearning for a particular physical type, thereby becoming available for union with all of the more perfect partners who previously didn't look quite right.

What's the state of your relationship with this riddle? Describe how you might ripen it; speculate on how you can move it to the next level of maturity.

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6. While loitering on a sidewalk outside a nightclub in San Francisco on a September night years ago, I found the cover of a booklet lying in the gutter.

Written by Marilena Silbey and Paul Ramana Das, it was called How to Survive Passionate Intimacy with a Dreamy Partner While Making a Fortune on the Path to Enlightenment.

Sadly, the rest of the text was missing. Ever since, hungry for its wisdom, I've tried to hunt down a copy of the whole thing, but to no avail.

I'm hoping that maybe you will consider writing your own version of the subject. If you do, please send it to me.

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7. I swear the strange woman standing near me at Los Angeles' Getty Museum was having an erotic experience as she gazed upon van Gogh's Irises.

She was not touching herself, nor was anyone else. But she was apparently experiencing waves of convulsive delight, as suggested by her rapid breathing, shivering muscles, fluttering eyelids, and sweaty forehead.

Fifteen minutes later, I saw her again in front of Jean-Honoré Fragonard's The Fountain of Love. She was only slightly more composed.

In a friendly voice, I said, "This stuff really moves you, doesn't it?"

"Oh, yeah," she replied, "I've not only learned how to make love with actual flowers and clouds and fountains, I can even make love with paintings of them."

Do you have any interest in mastering the method in this maestro's madness? Where will you begin?

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8. In his book Making Sex: Body and Gender from the Greeks to Freud, historian Thomas Laquer suggests that the clitoris may have been unknown to male anatomists until 1559.

In that year, Renaldus Columbus, a professor at the University of Padua in Italy, announced his discovery of the "seat of woman's delight," and declared his right to name it the "sweetness of Venus."

Is there a sublime pleasure whose existence you haven't discovered? Where is it? How can you find it?

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9. What could you do to make your tenderness and carnality flow from the same refined reflex?

How might you strive to adore every creature, plant, and rock in the world with the same excitement that you bestow upon the lover who excites you most?

What prayers will you unleash at the height of your orgasmic fervor to promote the healing and success of people in need?

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10. Once upon a time, you asked a certain someone for a blessing. Instead, he or she blasted you with a curse. The debilitating blow of that bad juju hit you right in the place that was ripe for the blessing you requested. What a tragedy!

Do you understand that the seed of the blessing you once needed (and still need) is hidden within the curse? If you figure out what that blessing is, you'll find the cure.

(PS: The French word for "wound" is blessure, which suggests that blessing can come from wounding.)

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11. Ruminate about the sublime prototypes that might be hidden within the longings you're not so proud of. Dream of the noble purposes that lie beneath the plaintive cries of your heart.

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12. "The Eskimos had 52 names for snow because it was important to them," wrote novelist Margaret Atwood. "There ought to be as many for love."
Here are a few that the ancient Greeks devised, according to Lindsay Swope in her review of Richard Idemon's book Through the Looking Glass.

1. Epithemia is the basic need to touch and be touched. Our closest approximation is "horniness," though epithemia is not so much a sexual feeling as a sensual one.

2. Philia is friendship. It includes the need to admire and respect your friends as a reflection of yourself—like in high school, where you want to hang out with the cool kids because that means you're cool too.

3. Eros isn't sexual in the way we usually think, but is more about the
emotional gratification that comes from merging souls.

4. Agape is a mature, utterly free expression of love that has no possessiveness. It means wanting the best for another person even if it doesn't advance your self-interest.

Your assignment is to coin three additional new words for love, which means you'll have to discover or create three alternate states of love that have previously been unnamed. To do that, you'll have to put aside your habitual expectations and standard definitions of what constitutes love so that you can explore an array of nuances, including varieties you never imagined existed.