Author James Frey writes, "I used to think I was tough, but then I realized I wasn’t. I was fragile and I wore thick armor. And I hurt people so they couldn’t hurt me. And I thought that was what being tough was, but it isn’t." I agree with Frey. The behavior he describes has nothing to do with being tough. So what does? That's important for you to think about, because the coming weeks will be an excellent time to be tough in the best senses of the word. Here are my definitions: Being tough means never letting people disrespect you or abuse you, even as you cultivate empathy for how wounded everyone is. Being tough means loving yourself with such unconditional grace that you never act unkind out of a neurotic need to over-defend yourself. Being tough means being a compassionate truth-teller.

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Take inventory of the extent that "No" fills up your life. Notice how often you say or think: 1. "That's not right." 2. "I don't like that." 3. "I don't agree with that." 4. "They don't like me." 5. "I'm not very good." 6. "That should be different from what it is."

To be clear, I do think a certain amount of "NO!" is healthy. It can prevent people from violating your boundaries. It can steer you away from doing things you don't really want to do. But it's also crucial to your well-being that you have ready access to big supplies of the invigorating "YES!"

For help in retraining yourself to say "Yes!" at least 51% of the time, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.