Cancerian baseball pitcher Satchel Paige had a colorful career characterized by creative showmanship. On some occasions, he commanded his infielders to sit down and loll on the grass behind him, whereupon he struck out three batters in a row—ensuring no balls were hit to the spots vacated by his teammates. Paige's success came in part because of his wide variety of tricky pitches, described by author Buck O'Neil as "the bat-dodger, the two-hump blooper, the four-day creeper, the dipsy-do, the Little Tom, the Long Tom, the bee ball, the wobbly ball, the hurry-up ball and the nothin' ball." I bring this to your attention, Cancerian, because now is an excellent time for you to amp up your charisma and use all your tricky pitches.

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