Warning! Danger! You are at risk of contracting a virulent case of cherophobia! And what exactly is cherophobia? It's a fear of happiness. It's an inclination to dodge and shun joyful experiences because of the suspicion that they will disappoint you or cause bad luck. Please do something to stop this insidious development. APRIL FOOL! I lied. The truth is that you are currently more receptive to positive emotions and delightful events than you've been in a log time. There's less than a one-percent chance you will fall victim to cherophobia.

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Want more clues? Need further insight? For more evocative questions and pithy suggestions about your unfolding destiny, check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Dear Goddess: Please make it immoral, illegal, irrelevant, unpatriotic, and totally tasteless for us to be in love with anyone or anything that's no good for us.

Teach us to know the difference between oppressive self-control and liberating self-control.

Awaken in us the power to do the half-right thing when it is impossible to do the totally right thing . . . .

Read or hear the rest of the Goddess Prayer.