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Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny

Week of March 22nd, 2018


(December 22-January 19)
My goal here is to convince you to embark on an orgy of self-care -- to be as sweet and tender and nurturing to yourself as you dare to be. If that influences you to go too far in providing yourself with luxurious necessities, I'm OK with it. And if your solicitous efforts to focus on your own health and well-being make you appear a bit self-indulgent or narcissistic, I think it's an acceptable price to pay. Here are more key themes for you in the coming weeks: basking in the glow of self-love; exulting in the perks of your sanctuary; honoring the vulnerabilities that make you interesting.


Need more help deciphering the riddles and enigmas that are fueling your amazing story? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.


SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
Brainwash yourself before someone nasty beats you to it. Study the difference between wise suffering and dumb suffering until you get it right. Commit crimes that don't break any laws. Visualize Buddha at the moment of orgasm. Build illusions that make people feel so beautiful they can't stand to be near you.

Pretend to be crazy so you can get away with doing what's right. Sing anarchist lullabies to homosexual trees. Love your enemies in case your friends turn out to be jerks. Review in detail the history of your life, honoring every moment as if you were conducting a benevolent Judgment Day. Eat money. Drink the sun. Dream like a stone. Sing in the acid rain.