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Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny

Week of October 26th, 2017


(June 21-July 22)
Watch out for a fake pizza-delivery driver who's actually trying to issue you a legal summons. Be careful you don't glimpse a blood red sky at dusk, in case it's a prophetic sign that your cell phone will fall into a toilet sometime soon. Beware of the possibility that a large bird carrying a turtle to its nest accidentally drops its prey into a rain puddle near you, splashing mud on your fancy clothes. JUST KIDDING! All the scenarios I just described are stupid lies. The truth is, this should be one of the most worry-free times ever. You're welcome, of course, to dream up a host of scary fantasies if you find that entertaining, but I guarantee that they'll be illusory. Halloween costume suggestion: an indomitable warrior.


Need more whacks applied to your mental blocks? More caresses bestowed upon your growing edge? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.