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Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny

Week of June 1st, 2017


(February 19-March 20)
"If you want a puppy, start by asking for a pony," read the bumper sticker on the Lexus SUV I saw. That confused me. Would the owner of a Lexus SUV be the type of person who didn't expect to get what she really wanted? In any case, Pisces, I'm conveying a version of this bumper-sticker wisdom to you. If you want your domestic scene to thrive even more than it already does, ask for a feng shui master to redesign your environment so it has a perfect flow of energy. If you want a community that activates the best in you, ask for a utopian village full of emotionally intelligent activists. If you want to be animated by a focused goal that motivates you to wake up excited each morning, ask for a glorious assignment that will help save the world.


How's your fight for freedom going? Are you making progress in liberating yourself from your unconscious obsessions, bad habits, and conditioned responses? For assistance and inspiration, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.


SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
Welcome to the Beauty and Truth Lab.

We're coming to you live from your repressed memories of paradise, reminding you that you can have anything you want if you will just ask for it in an unselfish way.

Welcome to the end of your nightmares, beauty and truth fans!

The world is young, your soul is free, and a naked celebrity is dying to talk to you about your most intimate secrets right now.

Just kidding.

In fact, the world is young, your soul is free, and at any moment you will feel a flood of ecstatic compassion for salamanders, oak trees, clouds, toasters, convenience store clerks, and even the ocean itself.

I'm your host.

My name is the Sacred Janitor at the Edge of Time, and I'm proud to announce that this is a perfect moment.

It's a perfect moment for many reasons, but especially because you are on the verge of finally figuring out exactly what it is you really want more than anything else . . . .

Hear or read the rest of this meditation.