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Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny

Week of April 6th, 2017


(April 20-May 20)
Are you weary of lugging around decayed guilt and regret? Is it increasingly difficult to keep forbidden feelings concealed? Have your friends been wondering about the whip marks from your self-flagellation sessions? Do you ache for redemption? If you answered yes to any of those questions, listen up. The empathetic and earthy saints of the Confession Catharsis Corps are ready to receive your blubbering disclosures. They are clairvoyant, they're non-judgmental, and best of all, they're free. Within seconds after you telepathically communicate with our earthy saints, they will psychically beam you eleven minutes of unconditional love, no strings attached. Do it! You'll be amazed at how much lighter and smarter you feel. Transmit your sad stories to the Confession Catharsis Corps NOW!


Need more help deciphering the riddles and enigmas that are fueling your amazing story? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.