I hesitate to deliver the contents of this horoscope without a disclaimer. Unless you are an extremely ethical person with a vivid streak of empathy, you might be prone to abuse the information I'm about to present. So please ignore it unless you can responsibly employ the concepts of benevolent mischief and tricky blessings and cathartic shenanigans. Ready? Here's your oracle: Now is a favorable time for grayer truths, wilder leaps of the imagination, more useful bullshit, funnier enigmas, and more outlandish stories seasoned with crazy wisdom.

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Would you like further inspiration as you scheme and dream to make the most of life's sometimes puzzling opportunities? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.