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Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny

Week of September 22nd, 2016


(November 22-December 21)
Work too much and push yourself too hard, Sagittarius. Eat corn chips for breakfast, ice cream for lunch, and French fries for dinner -- every day, if possible. And please please please get no more than four hours' sleep per night. If you have any extra time, do arduous favors for friends and intensify your workout routine. JUST KIDDING! Don't you dare heed any of that ridiculous advice. In fact, I suggest you do just the opposite. Dream up brilliant excuses not to work too much or push too hard. Treat yourself to the finest meals and best sleep ever. Take your mastery of the art of relaxation to new heights. Right now, the most effective way to serve your long-term dreams is by having as much fun, joy, and release as possible.


How well is your imagination working these days? Could it use a boost? A prod? A jolt of inspiration? Try tuning in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.


SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
Late at night when there's no traffic, stride down the middle of an empty road that by day is crawling with cars. Dance, careen, and sing songs that fill you with pleasurable emotions. Splay your arms triumphantly as you extemporize prayers in which you make extravagant demands and promises. Give pet names to the trees you pass, declare your admiration for the workers who made the road, and celebrate your sovereignty over a territory that usually belongs to heavy machines and their operators.