Using scissors, snip off a strand of your hair. As you do, sing a beloved song with uplifting lyrics. Seal the hair in an envelope on which you have written the following: "I am attracting divine prods and unpredictable nudges that will enlighten me about a personal puzzle that I am ready to solve." On each of the next five nights, kiss this package five times and place it beneath your pillow as you sing a beloved song with uplifting lyrics. Then observe your dreams closely. Keep a pen and notebook or audio recorder near your bed to capture any clues that might arrive. On the morning after the fifth night, go to your kitchen sink and burn the envelope and hair in the flame of a white candle. Chant the words of power: "Catalytic revelations and insights are arriving." The magic you need will appear within 15 days.

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Need more help in figuring out the questions life is asking you? Crave more support in your efforts to build your courage? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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When you’re an aspiring master of pronoia, you see the cracks in the facades as opportunities; inspiration erupts as you careen over bumps in the road; you love the enticing magic that flows from situations that other people regard as rough or crooked. "That which is not slightly distorted lacks sensible appeal," wrote poet Charles Baudelaire, "from which it follows that irregularity—that is to say, the unexpected, surprise and astonishment—is an essential part and characteristic of beauty."

This would be a good time to have a master craftsperson decorate your headquarters with stained glass windows that depict the creation stories of your favorite indigenous culture. You might also benefit from hiring a feng shui consultant to help you design a more harmonious home environment. Here are some cheaper but equally effective ways to promote domestic bliss: Put images of your heroes on your walls. Throw out stuff that makes you feel cramped. Add new potted plants to calm your eyes and nurture your lungs. If you're feeling especially experimental, build a shrine devoted to the Goddess of Ecstatic Nesting.

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What fresh blessings will life bring you? What questions should you be asking? To explore the ripening trends further, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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It's time for the Gratitude Fest. Write thank-you notes to the creatures, both human and otherwise, that have played seminal roles in inspiring you to become yourself. Who have been your guides along the way, both the purposeful teachers and the inadvertent helpers? Who has seen you for who you really are? Who has nudged you in the direction of your fuller destiny and awakened you to your signature truths? Who has loved you very, very well?

You Geminis are as full of longings as any other sign, but you have a tendency to downplay their intensity. How often do you use your charm and wit to cloak your burning, churning yearnings? Please don't misunderstand me: I appreciate your refined expressions of deep feelings -- as long as that's not a way to hide your deep feelings from yourself. This will be an especially fun and useful issue for you to meditate on in the coming weeks. I advise you to be in very close touch with your primal urges.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Whatever you choose to focus your attention on, you will get more of it. If you often think of everything you lack and how sad you are that you don't have it, you will tend to receive prolific evidence of how true that is. As you obsess on all the ways your life is different from what you wish it would be, you will become an expert in rousing feelings of frustration and you will attract experiences that assist you in rousing frustration.

If, on the other hand, you dwell on the good things you have already had the privilege to experience, you will expand your appreciation for their blessings, which in turn will amplify their beneficent impact on your life. You will also magnetize yourself to receive further good things, making it more likely that they will be attracted into your sphere. At the very least, you will get in the habit of enjoying yourself no matter what the outward circumstances are.

Be vulnerable and sensitive as well as insatiable and irreverent. Cultivate your rigorous skepticism, but expect the arrival of at least two freaking miracles. Be extra nurturing to allies who help you and sustain you, but also be alert for those moments when they may benefit from your rebellious provocations. Don't take anything too personally or literally or seriously, even as you treat the world as a bountiful source of gifts and blessings. Be sure to regard love as your highest law, and laugh at fear at least three times every day.

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You're got more strength and intelligence than you realize. For help in accessing those untapped inner resources, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Where exactly does happiness come from? That's the riddle posed by David Meyers and Ed Diener in their article, "The Science of Happiness," published in The Futurist magazine. I invite you to write your own answers to their question. Map out the foundations of your own science of happiness. Get serious about defining what makes you feel good. What specific experiences arouse your deepest gratification? Physical pleasure? Seeking the truth? Being a good person? Contemplating the meaning of life? Enjoying the fruits of your accomplishments? Purging pent-up emotion?

Let's assume, for the sake of fun argument, that you do indeed have a guardian angel. Even if you have steadfastly ignored this divine helper in the past, I'm asking you to strike up a close alliance in the coming weeks. If you need to engage in an elaborate game of imaginative pretending to make it happen, so be it. Now let me offer a few tips about your guardian angel's potential purposes in your life: providing sly guidance about how to take good care of yourself; quietly reminding you where your next liberation may lie; keeping you on track to consistently shed the past and head toward the future; and kicking your ass so as to steer you away from questionable influences. OK? Now go claim your sublime assistance!

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Receptivity is not a passive state. Nor is it a blank, empty waiting around for whatever happens to come along. In urging you to cultivate receptivity, I don't mean you should become a lazy do-nothing bereft of goals, reacting blindly to whatever life throws in front of you.

Receptivity is a robust readiness to be surprised and moved; a vigorous intention to be awake to everything you can't control. When you're receptive in the pronoiac style, you have strong ideas and a powerful will and an eagerness to disseminate your unique blessings, but you're also animated by the humble certainty that you have a lot to learn.

Although you may not yet be fully aware of your good fortune, your "rescue" is already underway. Furthermore, the so-called hardship you've been lamenting will soon lead you to a trick you can use to overcome one of your limitations. Maybe best of all, Virgo, a painful memory you have coddled for a long time has so thoroughly decayed that there's almost nothing left to cling to. Time to release it! So what comes next? Here's what I recommend: Throw a going-away party for everything you no longer need. Give thanks to the secret intelligence within you that has guided you to this turning point.

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Sometimes it's a challenge to try to figure out what's important and what's not important. If you'd like more of my input, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Notice how you feel as you speak the following: "The strong, independent part of me resisted the embarrassing truth for a long time, but I finally came to accept that I'm someone who craves vast amounts of love. Ever since I surrendered to this need, it doesn't nag me all the time, as it used to. In fact, it feels comforting, like a source of sweetness that doesn't go away. I never thought I'd say this, but I've come to treasure the feeling of having a voracious yearning to be loved."

Here comes a special occasion -- a radical exemption that is so rare as to be almost impossible. Are you ready to explore a blessing you have perhaps never experienced? For a brief grace period, you can be free from your pressing obsessions. Your habitual attachments and unquenchable desires will leave you in peace. You will be relieved of the drive to acquire more possessions or gather further proof of your attractiveness. You may even arrive at the relaxing realization that you don't require as many props and accessories as you imagined you needed to be happy and whole. Is enlightenment nigh? At the very least, you will learn how to derive more joy out of what you already have.

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How well is your imagination working these days? Could it use a boost? A prod? A jolt of inspiration? Try tuning in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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The dangers of excessive politeness are perfectly exemplified in the medieval legend of Parzival, Arthur's purest knight. His quest for the Holy Grail leads him to a castle where he is welcomed by a wounded lord. At dinner, a mysterious bowl captivates Parzival's attention. He's dying to know more about it, but he holds his tongue. His training as a knight has taught him that it's uncourteous to express too much curiosity.

Tragically, he doesn't realize that he has arrived at the very place where his quest could be satisfied. The wounded lord is actually the fisher king, the marvelous bowl is the Grail, and he is being presented with a magical test. The test consists of a simple task: to ask about the bowl. Because Parzival fails to do so, the king doesn't reveal the secret and doesn't give him the Grail.

The next morning, Parzival wakes up to find the castle empty, and he leaves having missed the very opportunity he wanted most.

In the coming weeks, I suspect that Life will attempt to move you away from any influences that interfere with your ability to discern and express your soul’s code. You know what I'm talking about when I use that term "soul's code," right? It's your sacred calling; the blueprint of your destiny; the mission you came to earth to fulfill. So what does it mean if higher powers and mysterious forces are clearing away obstacles that have been preventing you from a more complete embodiment of your soul's code? Expect a breakthrough that initially resembles a breakdown.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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To be the best pronoiac explorer you can be, I suggest you adopt an outlook that combines the objectivity of a scientist, the "beginner's mind" of Zen Buddhism, and the compassionate friendliness of the Dalai Lama.

To pull this off, you'll have to be willing to suspend your brilliant theories about the way the world works. Accept with good humor the possibility that what you've learned in the past may not be a reliable guide to understanding the fresh phenomenon that's right in front of you. Be suspicious of your biases, even the rational and benevolent ones. Open your heart as you strip away the interpretations that your emotions might be inclined to impose.

"Before we can receive the unbiased truth about anything," wrote my teacher Ann Davies, "we have to be ready to ignore what we would like to be true."

At the same time, don't turn into a hard-ass, poker-faced robot. Keep your feelings moist and receptive. Remember your natural affection for all of creation. Enjoy the power of tender sympathy as it drives you to probe for the unimaginable revelations of every new moment. "Before we can receive the entire truth about anything," said Ann Davies, "we have to love it."

Maybe you know people who flee from the kind of Big Bold Blankness that's visiting you, but I hope you won't be tempted to do that. Here's my counsel: Welcome your temporary engagement with emptiness Celebrate this opening into the unknown. Ease into the absence. Commune with the vacuum. Ask the nothingness to be your teacher. What's the payoff? This is an opportunity to access valuable secrets about the meaning of your life that aren't available when you're feeling full. Be gratefully receptive to what you don't understand and can't control.

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How much do you want to know about your life? How far do you dare to go in your quest for self-mastery? For more insight into your intriguing fate, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Evil is boring. The universe is friendly. Life is on your side. Joy is your birthright.
Cynicism is idiotic. Fear is a bad habit. Despair is lazy. In fact, all of creation wants you to succeed.
Act as if the universe is a prodigious miracle created for your amusement and illumination. Assume that secret helpers are working behind the scenes to assist you in turning into the gorgeous masterpiece you were born to be. Retrain your senses and intellect so you’re able to perceive the fact that life always gives you exactly what you need, exactly when you need it.

I placed a wager down at the astrology pool. I bet that sometime in the next three weeks, you Capricorns will shed at least some of the heavy emotional baggage that you've been lugging around; you will transition from ponderous plodding to curious-hearted sauntering. Why am I so sure this will occur? Because I have detected a shift in attitude by one of the most talkative little voices in your head. It seems ready to stop tormenting you with cranky reminders of all the chores you should be doing but aren't -- and start motivating you with sunny prompts about all the fun adventures you could be pursuing.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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If you're typical, your natural curiosity was virtually extinguished at an early age by mediocre teachers, boring lessons, and oppressive classrooms. Have you ever wondered what your life would be like if your imagination hadn't been squelched? What interesting adventures might you have sought out if your natural love of learning hadn't been crushed?

Let's launch a quest to undo the damage. Imagine I've handed you an undiploma: your official release from the soul-death of your formal education; the beginning of the healing of your wounded love of learning. What's the first thing you'll do to invoke a steady stream of inspired teachers and invigorating lessons?

What you are most afraid of right now could become what fuels you this fall. Please note that I used the word "could." In the style of astrology I employ, there is no such thing as predestination. So if you prefer, you may refuse to access the rich fuel that's available. You can keep your scary feelings tucked inside your secret hiding place, where they will continue to fester. You are not obligated to deal with them squarely, let alone find a way to use them as motivation. But if you are intrigued by the possibility that those murky worries might become a source of inspiration, dive in and investigate.

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Do you wish you could get more clarity about the foggy, ambiguous situations you're dealing with? Want more help in exploring the Great Mystery that is your life? I discuss your coming week in greater depth in your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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George prayed every day for three years to win the lottery, but never heard from God or hit the jackpot.
Finally, God woke him up in the middle of the night. "George, is that you who's been praying so hard to win the lottery?" the Supreme Being boomed.
"Yes, Lord, desperately!"
God paused for a moment, then said thoughtfully, "George, I'll tell you what. I want you to meet me halfway. Buy a ticket, OK?"

Are you ready for your mid-term exam? Luckily I'm here to help get you into the proper frame of mind to do well. Now study the following incitements with an air of amused rebelliousness. 1. You may have to act a bit wild or unruly in order to do the right thing. 2. Loving your enemies could motivate your allies to give you more of what you need. 3. Are you sufficiently audacious to explore the quirky happiness that can come from cultivating intriguing problems? 4. If you want people to change, try this: Change yourself in the precise way you want them to change.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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This oracle is coming to you live from your repressed memory of paradise, reminding you that all of creation loves you very much.

Even now, secret allies are cooking up mysteries that will excite you and incite you for years to come.

Even now, the earth and sun are collaborating to make sure you have all you need to make your next move.

But here's the loaded question: Are you willing to start loving life back with an equal intensity? The adoration it offers you has not exactly been unrequited, but there is room for you to be more demonstrative.

Half of the art of pronoia is about being improvisationally receptive to life's elaborate scheme to shower you with blessings. The other half is about learning to be a co-conspirator who assists life in doling out blessings—to help everyone else get exactly what they need, exactly when they need it.

Visualize yourself being able to recognize the raw truth about the people you care about, seeing how they already embody the beauty their souls' codes have promised as well as how they still fall short of embodying that beauty. Imagine yourself being able to make them feel appreciated even as you inspire them to risk changes that will activate more of their souls' codes.