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Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny


Week of July 21st, 2016

♈ ARIES

(March 21-April 19)
You now have more luxuriant access to divine luck than you've had in a long time. For the foreseeable future, you could be able to induce semi-miraculous twists of fate that might normally be beyond your capacities. But here's a caveat: The good fortune swirling in your vicinity may be odd or irregular or hard-to-understand. To harvest it, you will have to expand your ideas about what constitutes good fortune. It may bestow powers you didn't even realize it was possible to have. For example, what if you temporarily have an acute talent for gravitating toward situations where smart love is in full play?

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Here's a gathering of all the Long-Range, Big-Picture horoscopes I wrote for you early this year. Check to see if they are relevant to the way your life has been unfolding so far in 2016.

For one more week, you can also hear a LONG-TERM, BIG-PICTURE AUDIO PREVIEW for the REST of 2016 and beyond. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2016." If you'd just like a report for the short-term future, click on "This week (July 19, 2016)."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Celebrate Unhappy Hour at least once a month. During this ritual blowout, you have license to complain and rant about everything that's driving you crazy. Get a sympathetic listener to be your receptacle or deliver your blast straight into the mirror. If you prefer, write it all down. One way or another, grouse nonstop about your secret shame, raw sorrow, bottomless wrath, unspeakable guilt, and unnerving twists of destiny. Feel free to unleash guttural moans or rueful cackles.

If performed regularly, Unhappy Hour serves as an exorcism that empties you of psychic toxins. Pronoia will then have a chance to flourish as you luxuriate more frequently in rosy moods and broad-minded visions.

To hear or read the rest of the Unhappy Hour ritual, go here.

♉ TAURUS

(April 20-May 20)
A directory published by the U.S. Department of Labor says that my gig as an astrologer shares a category with jugglers, rodeo clowns, acrobats, carnival barkers, and stuntpersons. Am I, therefore, just a charming buffoon? An amusing goofball who provides diversion from life's serious matters? I'm fine with that. I may prefer to regard myself as a sly oracle inflamed with holy madness, but the service I provide is probably more effective if my ego doesn't get the specific glory it yearns for. In this way, I have certain resemblances to the Taurus tribe during the next four weeks. Is it OK if you achieve success without receiving all of the credit you think you deserve?

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Here's a gathering of all the Long-Range, Big-Picture horoscopes I wrote for you early this year. Check to see if they are relevant to the way your life has been unfolding so far in 2016.

For one more week, you can also hear a LONG-TERM, BIG-PICTURE AUDIO PREVIEW for the REST of 2016 and beyond. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2016." If you'd just like a report for the short-term future, click on "This week (July 19, 2016)."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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In The Book of Embraces, Uruguayan author Eduardo Galeano writes, "The fishermen of the Colombian coast must be learned doctors of ethics and morality, for they invented the word sentipensante, or 'feeling-thinking,' to define language that speaks the truth." Describe a time when you pulled off the feat of thinking with your heart and feeling with your head.

♊ GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)
Over the course of a 57-year career, Japanese movie director Akira Kurosawa won 78 major awards for his work, including a Lifetime Achievement Award from the Oscars. Among the filmmakers who've named him as an inspirational influence are heavyweights like Ingmar Bergman, Werner Herzog, Bernardo Bertolucci, Robert Altman, Francis Ford Coppola, and Martin Scorsese. But Kurosawa wasn't too haughty to create lighter fare. At age 86, he departed from his epic dramas to create a 30-second commercial for a yogurt drink. Did that compromise his artistic integrity? I say no. Even a genius can't be expected to create non-stop masterpieces. Be inspired by Kurosawa, Gemini. In the coming weeks, give your best to even the most modest projects.

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Here's a gathering of all the Long-Range, Big-Picture horoscopes I wrote for you early this year. Check to see if they are relevant to the way your life has been unfolding so far in 2016.

For one more week, you can also hear a LONG-TERM, BIG-PICTURE AUDIO PREVIEW for the REST of 2016 and beyond. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2016." If you'd just like a report for the short-term future, click on "This week (July 19, 2016)."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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When you’re an aspiring master of pronoia, you see the cracks in the facades as opportunities; inspiration erupts as you careen over bumps in the road; you love the enticing magic that flows from situations that other people regard as rough or crooked.

"That which is not slightly distorted lacks sensible appeal," wrote poet Charles Baudelaire, "from which it follows that irregularity -- that is to say, the unexpected, surprise and astonishment -- is an essential part and characteristic of beauty."

♋ CANCERIAN

(June 21-July 22)
Capricorns may be the hardest workers of the zodiac, and Tauruses the most dogged. But in the coming weeks, I suspect you Cancerians will be the smartest workers. You will efficiently surmise the precise nature of the tasks at hand, and do what's necessary to accomplish them. There'll be no false starts or reliance on iffy data or slapdash trial-and-error experiments. You'll have a light touch as you find innovative short cuts that produce better results than would be possible via the grind-it-out approach.

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Here's a gathering of all the Long-Range, Big-Picture horoscopes I wrote for you early this year. Check to see if they are relevant to the way your life has been unfolding so far in 2016.

For one more week, you can also hear a LONG-TERM, BIG-PICTURE AUDIO PREVIEW for the REST of 2016 and beyond. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2016." If you'd just like a report for the short-term future, click on "This week (July 19, 2016)."

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Some religious traditions teach the doctrine, "Kill off your longings." In their view, attachment to desire is at the root of human suffering. But the religion of materialism takes the opposite tack, asserting that the meaning of life is to be found in indulging desires. Its creed is, "Feed your cravings like a French foie gras farmer cramming eight pounds of maize down a goose's gullet every day."

At the Beauty and Truth Lab, we walk a middle path. We believe there are both degrading desires that enslave you and sacred desires that liberate you.

Psychologist Carl Jung believed that all desires have a sacred origin, no matter how odd they may seem. Frustration and ignorance may contort them into distorted caricatures, but it is always possible to locate the divine source from which they arose. In describing one of his addictive patients, Jung said: "His craving for alcohol was the equivalent on a low level of the spiritual thirst for wholeness, or as expressed in medieval language: the union with God."

Psychotherapist James Hillman echoes the theme: "Psychology regards all symptoms to be expressing the right thing in the wrong way." A preoccupation with porn or romance novels, for instance, may come to dominate a passionate person whose quest for love has degenerated into an obsession with images of love. "Follow the lead of your symptoms," Hillman suggests, "for there's usually a myth in the mess, and a mess is an expression of soul."

To hear or read the rest of this essay "What If Your Desires Are Holy,"go here.

♌ LEO

(July 23-August 22)
My friend's 12-year-old daughter Brianna got a "B" on her summer school math test. She might have earned an "A" if it weren't for a problem her teacher had with some of her work. "You got the right answer by making two mistakes that happened to cancel each other out," he wrote on her paper next to question seven. I suspect you will soon have a similar experience. Leo. But the difference between you and Brianna is that I'm giving you an "A." All that matters in the end is that you succeed. I don't care if your strategy is a bit funky.

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Here's a gathering of all the Long-Range, Big-Picture horoscopes I wrote for you early this year. Check to see if they are relevant to the way your life has been unfolding so far in 2016.

For one more week, you can also hear a LONG-TERM, BIG-PICTURE AUDIO PREVIEW for the REST of 2016 and beyond. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2016." If you'd just like a report for the short-term future, click on "This week (July 19, 2016)."

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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A thousand years from today, everyone you know will be long dead and forgotten. There’ll be nothing left of the life you love, no evidence that you ever walked this planet. That, at least, is what the fundamentalist materialists would have you believe.

But suppose the truth is very different? What if in fact every little thing you do subtly alters the course of world history? What if your day-to-day decisions will actually help determine how the human species navigates its way through the epic turning point we’re living through?

And finally, what if you will be alive in a thousand years, reincarnated into a fresh body and in possession of the memories of the person you were back in this era?

These are my hypotheses. These are my prophecies. Which is why I say: Live as if your soul is eternal.

♍ VIRGO

(August 23-September 22)
Have ever fantasized about being a different gender or race or astrological sign? Do you suspect it might be fun and liberating to completely change your wardrobe or your hairstyle or your body language? The coming weeks will be an excellent time to experiment with these variables, and with any others that would enable you to play with your identity and mutate your self-image. You have a cosmic exemption from imitating what you have done in the past. In this spirit, feel free to read all the other signs’ horoscopes, and act on the one you like best. Your word of power is "shapeshifter."

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Here's a gathering of all the Long-Range, Big-Picture horoscopes I wrote for you early this year. Check to see if they are relevant to the way your life has been unfolding so far in 2016.

For one more week, you can also hear a LONG-TERM, BIG-PICTURE AUDIO PREVIEW for the REST of 2016 and beyond. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2016." If you'd just like a report for the short-term future, click on "This week (July 19, 2016)."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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"I’ve been practicing radical authenticity lately," my friend Brandon told me. "I’m revealing the blunt truth about unmentionable subjects to everyone I know. It’s been pretty hellish -- no one likes having the social masks stripped away -- but it’s been ultimately rewarding."

"I admire your boldness in naming the currents flowing beneath the surface," I replied, "but I’m curious as to why you imply they’re all negative. To practice radical authenticity, shouldn’t you also express the raw truth about what’s right, good, and beautiful? Shouldn’t you unleash the praise and gratitude that normally go unspoken?"

Brandon sneered. He thought my version of radical authenticity was wimpy. I hope you don’t. As a budding lover of life, you have a mandate to be honest in both ways.

♎ LIBRA

(September 23-October 22)
The Golden Goose Award is given annually to "scientists whose work may have been considered silly, odd, or obscure when first conducted," but which ultimately produced dramatic advances. Entomologists Raymond Bushland and Edward Knipling were this year's winners. More than 60 years ago they started tinkering with the sex life of the screwworm fly in an effort to stop the pest from killing livestock and wildlife throughout the American South. At first their ideas were laughed at, even ridiculed. In time they were lauded for their pioneering breakthroughs. I suspect you'll be blessed with a vindication of your own in the coming weeks, Libra. It may not be as monumental as Bushland's and Knipling's, but I bet it'll be deeply meaningful for you.

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Here's a gathering of all the Long-Range, Big-Picture horoscopes I wrote for you early this year. Check to see if they are relevant to the way your life has been unfolding so far in 2016.

For one more week, you can also hear a LONG-TERM, BIG-PICTURE AUDIO PREVIEW for the REST of 2016 and beyond. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2016." If you'd just like a report for the short-term future, click on "This week (July 19, 2016)."

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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A common obstruction to a vital intimate relationship with another human being is what I call the assumption of clairvoyance. You imagine, perhaps unconsciously, that your partner or friend is somehow magically psychic when it comes to you -- so much so that he or she should unfailingly intuit exactly what you need, even if you don’t ask for it.

This fantasy may seem romantic, but it can single-handedly sink the most promising alliances. To counteract any tendencies you might have to indulge in the assumption of clairvoyance, practice stating your desires aloud.

♏ SCORPIO

(October 23-November 21)
I hope it doesn't sound too paradoxical when I urge you to intensify your commitment to relaxation. I will love it, and more importantly your guardian angel will love it, if you become a fierce devotee of slowing down and chilling out. Get looser and cozier and more spacious, damn it! Snuggle more. Cut back on overthinking and trying too hard. Vow to become a high master of the mystic art of I-don't-give-a-f*ck. It's your sacred duty to steal more slack from the soul-anesthetizing grind.

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Here's a gathering of all the Long-Range, Big-Picture horoscopes I wrote for you early this year. Check to see if they are relevant to the way your life has been unfolding so far in 2016.

For one more week, you can also hear a LONG-TERM, BIG-PICTURE AUDIO PREVIEW for the REST of 2016 and beyond. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2016." If you'd just like a report for the short-term future, click on "This week (July 19, 2016)."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Although we are all born geniuses, the grind of day-to-day living tends to de-genius us. That's the bad news. The good news is that you have the power to re-genius yourself.

I'm going to give you a ritual called "Re-Genius Yourself," which you can use to jump-start the process. Below is an excerpt. To hear or read the entire ritual, go here.

You came into this world as a radiant bundle of exuberant riddles. You slipped into this dimension as a shimmering burst of spiral hallelujahs. You blasted into this realm as a lush explosion of ecstatic gratitude. And it is your birthright to fulfill those promises.

I'm not pandering to your egotism by telling you these things. When I say, "Be yourself," I don't mean you should be the self that wants to win every game and use up every resource and stand alone at the end of time on top of a Mt. Everest-sized pile of pretty garbage.

When I say, "Be yourself," I mean the self that says "Thank you!" to the wild irises and the windy rain and the people who grow your food.

When I say, "Be yourself," I mean the rebel creator who's longing to make the whole universe your home and sanctuary.

When I say, "Be yourself," I mean the dissident bodhisattva who's joyfully struggling to germinate the seeds of divine love that are packed inside every moment.

When I say, "Be yourself," I mean the spiritual freedom fighter who's scrambling and finagling and conspiring to relieve your fellow messiahs from their suffering and shower them with rowdy blessings.

♐ SAGITTARIUS

(November 22-December 21)
I regularly travel back through time from the year 2036 so as to be here with you. It's tough to be away from the thrilling transformations that are underway there. But it's in a good cause. The bedraggled era that you live in needs frequent doses of the vigorous optimism that's so widespread in 2036, and I'm happy to disseminate it. Why am I confessing this? Because I suspect you now have an extra talent for gazing into the unknown and exploring undiscovered possibilities. You also have an unprecedented power to set definite intentions about the life you want to be living in the future. Who will you be five years from today? Ten years? Twenty years? Be brave. Be visionary. Be precise.

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Here's a gathering of all the Long-Range, Big-Picture horoscopes I wrote for you early this year. Check to see if they are relevant to the way your life has been unfolding so far in 2016.

For one more week, you can also hear a LONG-TERM, BIG-PICTURE AUDIO PREVIEW for the REST of 2016 and beyond. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2016." If you'd just like a report for the short-term future, click on "This week (July 19, 2016)."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Push hard to get better, become smarter, grow your devotion to the truth, fuel your commitment to beauty, refine your emotional intelligence, hone your dreams, negotiate with your shadow, cure your ignorance, shed your pettiness, heighten your drive to look for the best in people, and soften your heart -- even as you always accept yourself for exactly who you are with all of your so-called imperfections.

♑ CAPRICORN

(December 22-January 19)
Here's one strategy you could pursue, I guess: You could spank the Devil with a feather duster as you try to coax him to promise that he will never again trick you with a bogus temptation. But I don't think that would work, frankly. It may have minor shock value, in which case the Devil might leave you in peace for a short time. Here's what I suggest instead: Work at raising your discernment so high that you can quickly identify, in the future, which temptations will deliver you unto evil confusion, and which will feed and hone your most noble desires.

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Here's a gathering of all the Long-Range, Big-Picture horoscopes I wrote for you early this year. Check to see if they are relevant to the way your life has been unfolding so far in 2016.

For one more week, you can also hear a LONG-TERM, BIG-PICTURE AUDIO PREVIEW for the REST of 2016 and beyond. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2016." If you'd just like a report for the short-term future, click on "This week (July 19, 2016)."

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Whatever you choose to focus your attention on, you will get more of it. If you often think of everything you lack and how sad you are that you don't have it, you will tend to receive prolific evidence of how true that is. As you obsess on all the ways your life is different from what you wish it would be, you will become an expert in rousing feelings of frustration and you will attract experiences that assist you in rousing frustration.

If, on the other hand, you dwell on the good things you have already had the privilege to experience, you will expand your appreciation for their blessings, which in turn will amplify their beneficent impact on your life. You will also magnetize yourself to receive further good things, making it more likely that they will be attracted into your sphere. At the very least, you will get in the habit of enjoying yourself no matter what the outward circumstances are.

♒ AQUARIUS

(January 20- February 18)
After a cool, dry period, you'll soon be slipping into a hot, wet phase. The reasonable explanations that generated so much apathy are about to get turned inside-out. The seemingly good excuses that provided cover for your timidity will be exposed as impractical lies. Are you ready for your passion to roar back into fashion? Will you know what to do when suppressed yearnings erupt and the chemicals of love start rampaging through your soft, warm animal body? I hereby warn you about the oncoming surge of weird delight -- and sing "Hallelujah!" for the revelatory fun it will bring.

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Here's a gathering of all the Long-Range, Big-Picture horoscopes I wrote for you early this year. Check to see if they are relevant to the way your life has been unfolding so far in 2016.

For one more week, you can also hear a LONG-TERM, BIG-PICTURE AUDIO PREVIEW for the REST of 2016 and beyond. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2016." If you'd just like a report for the short-term future, click on "This week (July 19, 2016)."

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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This is a perfect time for you to learn more about the difference between your fearful fantasies and your authentic, accurate intuitions.

Knowing the difference is one of the greatest spiritual powers you can possible have. So let's explore what it means: knowing the difference between the frightening, alienating pictures that sometimes pop into your imagination, as opposed the simple, warm, clear direction that is always available from the deepest source within you.

To hear or read the rest of the essay "Fear Versus Intuition,"go here.

♓ PISCES

(February 19-March 20)
I'm composing your horoscope on my iPhone after midnight on a crowded bus that's crammed with sweaty revelers. We're being transported back to civilization from a rural hideaway where we spent the last 12 hours at a raging party. I still feel ecstatic from the recent bacchanal, but the ride is uncomfortable. I'm pinned against a window by a sleepy, drunken dude who's not in full control of his body. But do I allow my predicament to interfere with my holy meditation on your destiny? I do not -- just as I trust you will keep stoking the fires of your own inspiration in the face of comparable irritations. You have been on a hot streak, my dear. Don't let anything tamp it down!

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Here's a gathering of all the Long-Range, Big-Picture horoscopes I wrote for you early this year. Check to see if they are relevant to the way your life has been unfolding so far in 2016.

For one more week, you can also hear a LONG-TERM, BIG-PICTURE AUDIO PREVIEW for the REST of 2016 and beyond. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2016." If you'd just like a report for the short-term future, click on "This week (July 19, 2016)."

*

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Congratulations. Every cell in your perfect animal body is beginning to purr with luminous gratitude for the enormity of the riches you endlessly receive. You are becoming aware that each of your heart’s beats originates as a gift of love directly from the Goddess herself.

Any residues of hatred that had been tainting your libido are leaving you for good. You are becoming telepathically linked to the world’s entire host of secret teachers, pacifist warriors, philosopher clowns, and bodhisattvas disguised as convenience store clerks.


Listen to Rob's Expanded Audio Horoscopes, updated weekly.



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