The last time I walked into a McDonald's and ordered a meal was 1984. Nothing that the restaurant chain serves up is appealing to my taste or morality. I do admire its adaptability, however. In cow-loving India, McDonald's only serves vegetarian fare that includes deep-fried cheese and potato patties. In Israel, kosher McFalafels are available. Mexicans order their McMuffins with refried beans and pico de gallo. At a McDonald's in Singapore, you can order McRice burgers. This is the type of approach I advise for you right now, Sagittarius. Adjust your offerings for your audience.

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How well is your imagination working these days? Could it use a boost? A prod? A jolt of inspiration? Try tuning in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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A reader named Michael McCarthy wrote to say he plans to start a new religion, the "First Church of the Rude Awakening." It will be based on the principle that having a pleasant life cannot serve as a motivation to seek enlightenment and salvation. McCarthy believes that no one ever bolts up out of bed one morning and says, "I'm so happy, I think I'll go meditate and pray and make myself into a better person for as long as it takes, so I can find God and say thanks."

Disprove this theory. Detonate an epiphany precisely because you're in an excellent mood.