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Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny


Week of May 21st, 2015

♈ ARIES

(March 21-April 19)
James McNeil Whistler was an influential painter in the latter half of the 19th century. He advocated the "art for art's sake" credo, insisting that the best art doesn't need to teach or moralize. As far as he was concerned, its most important purpose was to bring forth "glorious harmony" from chaos. But the immediate reason I'm nominating him to be your patron saint for the coming weeks is the stylized signature he created: an elegant butterfly with a long tail that was actually a stinger. I think you'll thrive by embodying that dual spirit: being graceful, sensitive, and harmonious and yet also feisty, piquant, and provocative. Can you manage that much paradox? I think you can.

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Would you like to hear me say some more about your ever-evolving destiny? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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The water you drink is three billion years old, give or take five million years. The stuff your body is made of is at least 10 billion years old, probably older, and has been as far away as 100,000 light-years from where it is right now. The air you breathe has, in the course of its travels, been literally everywhere on the planet, and has slipped in and out of the lungs of almost every human being who has ever lived.

Would you act differently if you had a visceral sense of how eternal and infinite you are? What unprecedented behavior might you express? Visualize a waking dream in which you remember the water you floated in three billion years ago. Imagine you can see the light that shone on you 100,000 light-years ago.

♉ TAURUS

(April 20-May 20)
Renowned author George Bernard Shaw was secure in his feeling that he did good work. He didn't need the recognition of others to validate his self-worth. The British Prime Minister offered him a knighthood, but he refused it. When he found out he had been awarded a Nobel Prize for Literature, he wanted to turn it down but his wife convinced him to accept it. The English government also sought to give him the prestigious Order of Merit, but he rejected it, saying, "I have already conferred this order upon myself." He's your role model for right now, Taurus. Congratulate yourself for your successes, whether or not anyone else does.

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Need more help deciphering the riddles and enigmas that are fueling your amazing story? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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"If everything seems under control," said auto racer Mario Andretti, "you're probably not moving fast enough." I second that emotion. It applies to the entire human race, which is swirling through evolutionary tipping points at an accelerating speed. But it's doubly apropos for you spiritual freedom fighters and renegade bodhisattvas, because you're the vanguard shock troops fighting to merge heaven with earth.

For your edification and amusement, we will add three corollaries to Andretti's wisdom: 1. If you're not pretty much always half-confused, most likely you're not thinking deeply enough. 2. If you're not feeling forever amazed, maybe you're not seeing wildly enough. 3. The truth is fluid, slippery, vagrant, scrambled, promiscuous, kaleidoscopic, and outrageously abundant.

How might you go about using these tricks to marinate yourself in a gentle state of ecstasy pretty much all the time?

♊ GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)
"Aha!" is your mantra for the coming weeks, Gemini. Keep it on the tip of your tongue, ready to unleash. This always-ready-to-be-surprised-by-inspiration attitude will train you to expect the arrival of wonders and marvels. And that will be an effective way to actually attract wonders and marvels! With "Aha!" as your talisman, all of your wake-up calls will be benevolent, and all of the chaos you encounter -- or at least most of it -- will be fertile.

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No one knows you better than you do, but maybe I can help you dig up even more self-knowledge. Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Question: Which part of you is too tame, overcivilized, and super-domesticated, and what are you going to do about it?

Answer, from a reader named Jason R.: "I was like a mole in a suburban backyard. I had just one little path I trod each day: to the compost pile and back. I chewed on orange rinds and leftover cabbage. I was tamed by the comfort of my familiar environment, content to have a narrow vision. But then I was eaten by a hawk, and became part of a wild, free body. Now I perch on the tops of trees and the peaks of roofs. I survey giddy-wide horizons, from the river to the mesa and far beyond. I have a wealth of choices. Where to fly? What to hunt? Who are my allies? My thoughts breathe deep, like the slow explosion of sun on the morning lake."

How would you answer the same question?

♋ CANCERIAN

(June 21-July 22)
Do you chronically indulge in feelings of guilt? Do you berate yourself for the wrong turns and sad mistakes you made in the past? These behaviors may be sneaky ways of avoiding change. How can you summon enough energy to transform your life if you're wallowing in worries and regrets? In presenting the possibility that you might be caught in this trap, I want you to know that I'm not sitting in judgment of you. Not at all. Like you, I'm a Cancerian, and I have periodically gotten bogged down in the very morass I'm warning you against. The bad news is that right now you are especially susceptible to falling under this spell. The good news is that right now you have extra power to break this spell.

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Wouldn't you love to learn more about who you really are? What better adventure is there than learning about your soul's code? For more hints, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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"If you bring forth the genius within you," said Jesus in the gnostic Gospel of Thomas, "it will free you. If you do not bring forth the genius within you, it will destroy you."

Is there any aspect of the genius within you that you're not bringing forth? If so, how can you fix that?

♌ LEO

(July 23-August 22)
In the TV comedy-drama Jane the Virgin, the fictional character known as Rogelio de la Vega is a vain but lovable actor who performs in telenovelas. "I'm very easy to dress," he tells the wardrobe supervisor of a new show he'll be working on. "Everything looks good on me. Except for peach. I don't pop in peach." What he means is that his charisma doesn't radiate vividly when he's wearing peach-colored clothes. Now I want to ask you, Leo: What don't you pop in? I'm not simply talking about the color of clothes that enable you to shine, but everything else, too. In the coming weeks, it's crucial that you surround yourself with influences that make you pop.

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I hope the oracle above provides you with the inspiration you need to do what you've got to do and change what needs to be changed. But if you need more clues, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE, where I go further in exploring your mysteries.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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I've written astrological oracles for much of my adult life. An early prototype of my work hatched in my previous incarnation as an 11th-century monastic scribe who made illuminated manuscripts. During my off-hours, I dabbled with planetary divination and created a parchment newsletter that got passed around the monastery.

In a later lifetime as a 16th-century Florentine alchemist, I further refined the form. The invention of the printing press meant my oracles could be seen by a larger audience, and as a result I got more feedback, which in turn helped me improve my service. The horoscopes I create today, then, have been in the making for a thousand years.

What about you? Is there anything you've been working on for many centuries? If your memory of your previous incarnations is fuzzy, make up a good story.

♍ VIRGO

(August 23-September 22)
Are you willing to entertain an outlandish possibility? Here's my vision: You will soon be offered unexpected assistance, either through the machinations of a "guardian angel" or the messy blessings of a shape-shifting spirit. This divine intervention will make it possible for you to demolish a big, bad obstacle you've been trying to find a way around. Even if you have trouble believing in the literal factuality of my prophecy, here's what I suspect: It will at least come true in a metaphorical sense -- which is the truest kind of truth of all.

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For more help in understanding your relationship with the game of life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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In his book Cosmos and Psyche, Richard Tarnas says the planets don't emit invisible forces that shape our destinies as if we were puppets. Rather, they are symbols of the unfolding evolutionary pattern. Just as clocks tell time but don't create it, the heavenly bodies show us the big picture but don't cause it.

Quoting Greek philosopher Plotinus, Tarnas writes, "The stars are like letters that inscribe themselves at every moment in the sky. Everything in the world is full of signs. All events are coordinated. All things depend on each other. Everything breathes together."

So it's not just the distant globes whose movements and relationships serve as divinatory clues. If you're sufficiently attuned to the gestalt of creation and pay close enough attention to its unfolding details, you can read the current mood of the universe in the arrangement of red onions in the grocery store bin or the fluttering of sunlight and shadow on the mimosa tree or the scatter of soap suds in your sink after you've finished washing the dishes.

Can you do it? Discern the signature of creation at this or any other perfect moment? Peer into the secret heart of the collective unconscious? Guess what the Goddess is thinking? Hint: You will have to switch on a dormant capacity, transforming your imagination from a mere fantasy-generator into an organ of perception.

♎ LIBRA

(September 23-October 22)
"Glory" is the theme song of the film Selma. It's an anthem about the ongoing struggle for equal rights by African Americans. I want to borrow one of its lines for your use in the coming weeks: "Freedom is like a religion to us." I think those will be good words for you to live by. Are you part of a group that suffers oppression and injustice? Are you mixed up in a situation that squashes your self-expression? Are you being squelched by the conditioned habits of your own unconscious mind? It's high time to rebel. The quest for liberation should be your spiritual calling.

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Would you like further inspiration as you scheme and dream to make the most of life's sometimes puzzling opportunities? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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"When you die," says the Koran, "God will call upon you to account for all the permitted pleasures you did not enjoy while on earth." The Talmud offers a similar idea: "A person will be called upon to account, on Judgment Day, for all the permitted pleasures he might have enjoyed but did not." Are there any such pleasures in your life?

♏ SCORPIO

(October 23-November 21)
If you're planning on breaking a taboo, sneaking into a forbidden zone, or getting intimate with an edge-dweller, don't tell boastful stories about what you're doing. For now, secrecy is not only sexy; it's a smart way to keep you safe and effective. Usually I'm fond of you telling the whole truth. I like it when you reveal the nuanced depths of your feelings. But right now I favor a more cautious approach to communication. Until your explorations have progressed further, I suggest that you only discuss them sparingly. As you put your experiments in motion, share the details on a need-to-know basis.

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What exactly are you looking for? How would you describe the experiences you want more than anything else? It's possible my EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE could give you additional help in figuring that out.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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The information you seek is available in the library of forbidden knowledge, the damp autumnal loam you dreamed you were buried in, and the song you learned before you were born. When you find that information, you will be able to answer this question: What are the three miracles that are most likely to happen to you?

♐ SAGITTARIUS

(November 22-December 21)
There are many possible ways to create and manage a close relationship. Here's one of my favorite models: when two independent, self-responsible souls pledge to help each other activate the best versions of themselves. If you don't have a partnership like this, the near future will be a favorable time to find one. And if you already do have an intimate alliance in which the two of you synergize each other's quest for individuation, the coming weeks could bring you breathtaking breakthroughs.

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Want to hear more about the subconscious factors and hidden forces that may be influencing your life? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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One of my favorite memories is gazing into my daughter Zoe's face just moments after her complicated birth. She had been through a heroic ordeal that scared the hell out of me, and yet she looked calm, beatific, and amused.

"She's part-Buddha and part-elf," I thought to myself as I held her in my arms. Gazing back at me, her shiny face blended two states I had never before witnessed together in anyone, let alone in an infant: elegant compassion and playful serenity. This revelation imprinted me like a blood oath and has informed my life and my work ever since.

Do you have a comparable memory? A time when a key to your destiny was suddenly laid bare? A turning point when you got a gift that has fueled your quest for years? Revisit that breakthrough. Then ask life for another one.

♑ CAPRICORN

(December 22-January 19)
It's a challenge to drive a car through Canada's far north. For example, if you want to get from Dawson in the Yukon Territory to Inuvik in the Northwest Territory, you take Dempster Highway. It's gravel road for the entire 417-mile trip, so the ride is rough. Bring a spare tire and extra gasoline, since there's just one service station along the way. On the plus side, the scenery is thrilling. The permafrost in the soil makes the trees grow in odd shapes, almost like they're drunk. You can see caribou, wolverines, lynx, bears, and countless birds. Right now, the sun is up 20 hours every day. And the tundra? You've never seen anything like it. Even if you don't make a trip like this, Capricorn, I'm guessing you will soon embark on a metaphorically similar version. With the right attitude and preparation, you will have fun and grow more courageous.

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To further explore the ripening blessings and interesting challenges in your life, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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My old philosophy professor Norman O. Brown would periodically interrupt his lectures, tilt his head upward as if tuning in to the whisper of some heavenly voice, and announce in a puckish tone, "It's time for your irregular reminder: We're already living after the end of the world. No need to fret anymore."

The implication was that the worst had already happened. We had lost much of the cultural riches that had given humans meaning for centuries. All that was going to be taken from us had already been taken.

On the bright side, that meant we were utterly free to reinvent ourselves. Living amidst the emptiness, we had nowhere to go but up. What remained was alienating, but it was also fresh.

Working from the hypothesis that you're living after the end of the world, what are you free to do that you weren't able to do before? Who are you free to be?

♒ AQUARIUS

(January 20- February 18)
Aquarian author James Joyce wrote Ulysses, one of the most celebrated and influential novels of the 20th century. The narrative is both experimental and tightly structured. Its chaotic stream-of-consciousness passages are painstakingly crafted. (Anyone who wonders how the astrological sign of Aquarius can be jointly ruled by the rebellious planet Uranus and the disciplinarian planet Saturn need only examine this book for evidence.) Joyce claimed he labored over Ulysses for 20,000 hours. That's the equivalent of devoting eight hours a day, 350 days a year, for over seven years. Will you ever work that hard and long on a project, Aquarius? If so, now would be an auspicious time to start.

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Need more whacks applied to your mental blocks? More caresses bestowed upon your growing edge? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Many people sincerely think that they will be called before God to account for themselves on Judgment Day. If you yourself have held that belief, you can stop worrying about it. The fact is, according to a survey of over 800 dissident bodhisattvas, urban witch doctors, sacred agents, and undercover geniuses, that you are called before "God" on Judgment Day on a regular basis.

Since you still exist, you have apparently passed every test so far. "God" obviously keeps finding you worthy. You shouldn't get overconfident, of course. But maybe from now on you can assume that although there may be a world of pressure on you, that pressure is natural, merciful, and exactly what you need.

Try this experiment: For seven days, see what it feels like to be secure in your knowledge that you have passed the tests of Judgment Day many, many times.

♓ PISCES

(February 19-March 20)
The English writer and caricaturist Max Beerbohm moved away from his native land when he was 37 years old. He settled in Rapallo, Italy, where he lived for much of the rest of his life. Here's the twist: When he died at age 83, he had still not learned to speak Italian. For 40 years, he used his native tongue in his foreign home. This is a failing you can't afford to have in the coming months, Pisces. The old proverb "When in Rome, do as the Romans," has never been so important for you to observe.

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Where do you want to go? Who do you want to be? For more clues, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Writing on Salon.com, Scott Rosenberg recalled how in his youth he loved to play the fantasy role-playing game Dungeons & Dragons. "You'd have to choose not one but two 'alignments' for your character," he mused. "Good and evil, of course, but also 'law' and 'chaos.' And among the people I ran with, 'chaotic/good' was the thing to be, because it let you trust other people and still have fun."


Listen to Rob's Expanded Audio Horoscopes, updated weekly.



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