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Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny


Week of May 7th, 2015

♊ GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)
In the children's book The Little Engine That Could, a little blue engine volunteers to pull a long chain of train cars up a steep hill, even though it's not confident it has the power to do so. As it strains to haul the heavy weight, it recites a mantra to give itself hope: "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can." The story ends happily. The little blue engine reaches the top of the hill with its many cars in tow, and is able to glide down the rest of the way. As you deal with your own challenge, Gemini, I recommend that you use an even more forceful incantation. Chant this: "I know I can, I know I can, I know I can."

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How well is your imagination working these days? Could it use a boost? A prod? A jolt of inspiration? Try tuning in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Change yourself in the way you want everyone else to change
Love your enemies in case your friends turn out to be jerks
Avoid thinking about winning the lottery while making love
Brainwash yourself before someone nasty beats you to it
Confess big secrets to people who aren't very interested
Write a love letter to your evil twin during a lunar eclipse
Fool the tricky red beasts guarding the Wheels of Time
Locate the master codex and add erudite graffiti to it
Dream up wilder, wetter, more interesting problems
Change your name every day for a thousand days
Kill the apocalypse and annihilate Armageddon
Exaggerate your flaws till they turn into virtues
Brag about what you can't do and don't have
Get a vanity license plate that reads KZMYAZ
Bow down to the greatest mystery you know
Make fun of people who make fun of people