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Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny

Week of April 23rd, 2015


(February 19-March 20)
Modern movies don't scrimp on the use of the f-bomb. Actors in The Wolf of Wall Street spat it out 569 times. The word-that-rhymes-with-cluck was heard 326 times in End of Watch, while Brooklyn's Finest racked up 270 and This Is the End erupted with an even 200. But this colorful word hasn't always been so prominent a feature. Before 1967, no actor had ever uttered it on-screen. That year, Marianne Faithfull let it fly in the film I'll Never Forget What's'isname. In the coming weeks, Pisces, I invite you to break a taboo that's maybe not as monumental as Faithfull's quantum leap, but still fabulously fun and energizing. Be a liberator! End the repression! Release the blocked vitality!


"Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show." So begins Charles Dickens' novel David Copperfield. I'd like to inspire you to write a story of your own that begins like that. For help, tune into your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.


SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
In the film Fight Club, the character played by Brad Pitt storms into a convenience store with a gun, then herds the clerk out back and threatens to execute him. While the poor man quivers in terror, Pitt asks him questions about himself, extracting the confession that he'd once wanted to be a veterinarian but dropped out of school. After a few minutes, Pitt frees the clerk without harming him, but says that unless he takes steps to return to veterinary school in the next six weeks, he will hunt him down and kill him.

In my opinion, that's an overly extreme way to motivate someone to do what's good for him. I wish I could come up with a less shocking approach to coax you into resuming the quest for your deferred dreams. Can you think of anything?