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Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny

Week of March 26th, 2015


(November 22-December 21)
If you were a ladybug beetle, you might be ready and eager to have sex for nine hours straight. If you were a pig, you'd be capable of enjoying 30-minute orgasms. If you were a dolphin, you'd seek out erotic encounters not just with other dolphins of both genders, but also with turtles, seals, and sharks. Since you are merely human, however, your urges will probably be milder and more containable. APRIL FOOL! In truth, Sagittarius, I'm not so sure your urges will be milder and more containable.


Want to explore this chapter of your life story even further? Dig deeper? Push harder? Consider tuning in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES.


SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
I give thanks for the dented rusty brown and gray 1967 Chevy 10 pick-up truck that my neighbor parks askew on the shoulder of the road near my house. Its messy beauty snaps me back to sanity when my own perfectionism threatens to de-soul me, or when all the shiny, sleek, polished things of the world are on the verge of hypnotizing me into believing that only they should be considered attractive.

Are there equivalent triggers in your life?