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Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny

Week of February 26th, 2015

♈ ARIES

(March 21-April 19)

Lately your life reminds me of the action film Speed, starring Sandra Bullock and Keanu Reeves. In that story, a criminal has rigged a passenger bus to explode if its speed drops below 50 miles per hour. In your story, you seem to be acting as if you, too, will self-destruct if you stop moving at a frantic pace. I'm here to tell you that nothing bad will happen if you slow down. Just the opposite, in fact. As you clear your schedule of its excessive things-to-do, as you leisurely explore the wonders of doing nothing in particular, I bet you will experience a soothing flood of healing pleasure.

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What is the obvious secret you can't quite see? How could you turn your challenges into daily gifts for yourself? For clues to mysteries like these, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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The Mystic Chaos Wizard Helper says: Close one eye. Tap your forehead twice with your left palm. Think of a memory in which you found something you'd lost. Lick your lips and murmur the words "Love Whisperer." Insert your middle finger in the "Delight-O-Meter" slot. Keep your finger there until the "Passion Lamp" turns on. Flash. Flash. Flash. Thank you. Now write the first thing that comes into your heart's mind.

♉ TAURUS

(April 20-May 20)

One of the most dazzling moves a ballet dancer can do is the fouetté en tournant. The term is French for "whipped turning." As she executes a 360-degree turn, the dancer spins around on the tip of one foot. Meanwhile, her other foot thrusts outward and then bends in, bringing her toes to touch the knee of her supporting leg. Can you imagine a dancer doing this 32 consecutive times? That's what the best do. It takes extensive practice and requires a high degree of concentration and discipline. Paradoxically, it expresses breathtaking freedom and exuberance. You may not be a prima ballerina, Taurus, but in your own field there must be an equivalent to the *fouetté en tournant.* Now is an excellent time for you to take a vow and make plans to master that skill. What will you need to do?

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Grace emerges in the ebb and flow, not just the flow. The waning reveals a different blessing than the waxing. Where are you in the great cycle of your life? For inspiration in figuring it all out, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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ARGUMENTS WITH GOD is the only organization on the planet that specializes in the art of debating with the Creator. Our trained Prayer Warriors are standing by, ready to deliver the protests and complaints that you want to convey. Send your mad, rebellious, poignant appeals to Truthrooster@gmail.com, and we will relay them directly to the Cosmic Trickster with persuasive eloquence. Write your first draft.

♊ GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)

If you're a martial artist and you want to inject extra energy into an aggressive move, you might utter a percussive shout that sounds like "eee-yah!" or "hyaah!" or "aiyah!" The Japanese term for this sound is kiai. The sonic boost is most effective if it originates deep in your diaphragm rather than from your throat. Even if you're not a martial artist, Gemini, I suggest that in the coming weeks you have fun trying out this boisterous style of yelling. It may help you summon the extra power and confidence you'll need to successfully wrestle with all the interesting challenges ahead of you.

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Whether it's your time to ferment in the shadows or sing in the sun, fresh power to transform yourself is on the way. Life always delivers the creative energy you need to change into the new thing you must become. For more help in understanding it all, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Even if you don't call yourself an artist, you have the potential to be a dynamic creator who is always hatching new plans, coming up with fresh ideas, and shifting your approach to everything you do as you adjust to life's ceaseless invitation to change.

It's to this part of you -- the restless, inventive spirit -- that I address the following: Unleash yourself! Don't be satisfied with the world the way it is; don't sit back passively and blankly complain about the dead weight of the mediocre status quo. Instead, call on your curiosity and charisma and expressiveness and lust for life as you tinker with and rebuild everything you see so that it's in greater harmony with the laws of love and more hospitable to your soul's code.

♋ CANCERIAN

(June 21-July 22)

The prolific and popular French novelist Aurore Dupin was better known by her pseudonym George Sand. Few 19th-century women matched her rowdy behavior. She wore men's clothes, smoked cigars, was a staunch feminist, and frequented social venues where only men were normally allowed. Yet she was also a doting mother to her two children, and loved to garden, make jam, and do needlework. Among her numerous lovers were the writers Alfred de Musset, Jules Sandeau, and Prosper Mérimée, as well as composer Frederic Chopin and actress Marie Dorval. Her preferred work schedule was midnight to 6 a.m., and she often slept until 3 p.m. "What a brave man she was," said Russian author Ivan Turgenev, "and what a good woman." Her astrological sign? The same as you and me. She's feisty proof that not all of us Crabs are conventional fuddy-duddies. In the coming weeks, she's our inspirational role model.

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You can learn to be lucky. It's not a mystical force you're born with, but a habit you can develop. How? For starters, be open to new experiences, trust your gut wisdom, expect good fortune, see the bright side of challenging events, and master the art of maximizing serendipitous opportunities. For more help, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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When the spell is broken, you will be able to tap into resources you've been cut off from. When the spell is broken, you will finally notice the big, beautiful secrets that have been lying in plain sight. What is that spell? Can you break it yourself? (I think you can.)

♌ LEO

(July 23-August 22)

It seems you've slipped into a time warp. Is that bad? I don't think so. Your adventures there may twist and tweak a warped part of your psyche in such a way that it gets healed. At the very least, I bet your visit to the time warp will reverse the effects of an old folly and correct a problem caused by your past sins. (By the way, when I use the word "sin," I mean "being lax about following your dreams.") There's only one potential problem that could come out of all this: Some people in your life could misinterpret what's happening. To prevent that, communicate crisply every step of the way.

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Somewhere there's a treasure that has no value to anyone but you, and a secret that's meaningless to everyone except you, and a frontier that harbors a revelation only you would know how to exploit. Why not go in search of those things? For inspiration, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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In the early years of Christianity, there were hundreds of books interpreting the life and teachings of Jesus Christ. But by 325 A.D., a group backed by the political and military might of the Roman Empire had determined which few of the stories about Christ would thereafter be considered the canonical New Testament, and which would be regarded as heretical bilge.

No better evidence exists for the saying, "History is a tale told by the victors." Keep this in mind as you strategize your way through your personal War of the Stories. Your account of events may have more truth in it than everyone else's conflicting tales, but that won't carry much weight unless you obtain the power to enforce your version.

♍ VIRGO

(August 23-September 22)

In English and French versions of the word game Scrabble, the letter z is worth ten points. In Italian, it's eight points. But in the Polish variant of Scrabble, you score just one point by using z. That letter is rarely used in the other three languages, but is common in Polish. Keep this general principle in mind as you assess the value of the things you have to offer. You will be able to make more headway and have greater impact in situations where your particular beauty and power and skills are in short supply.

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When they say "Be yourself," which self do they mean? Certainly not the self that wants to win every game and use up every resource and stand alone at the end of time on a mountain of pretty garbage. So which self is it? For guidance, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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In response to our culture's ever-rising levels of noise and frenzy, rites of purification have become more popular. Many people now recognize the value of taking periodic retreats. Withdrawing from their usual compulsions, they go on fasts, avoid mass media, practice celibacy, or even abstain from speaking. While we applaud cleansing ceremonies like this, we recommend balancing them with periodic outbreaks of an equal and opposite custom: the Bliss Blitz.

♎ LIBRA

(September 23-October 22)

"Learn all you can from the mistakes of others. You won't have time to make them all yourself." So said Alfred Sheinwold in his book about the card game known as bridge. I think this is excellent advice for the game of life, as well. And it should be extra pertinent for you in the coming weeks, because people in your vicinity will be making gaffes and wrong turns that are useful for you to study. In the future, you'll be wise to avoid perpetrating similar messes yourself.

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Take inventory of the extent that "No" dominates your life. Notice how often you say or think: 1. "That's not right." 2. "I don't like that." 3. "I don't agree with that." 4. "They don't like me." 5. "I'm not very good." 6. "That should be different from what it is." For help in retraining yourself to say "Yes!" at least 51% of the time, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Beauty and Truth Laboratory researcher Firenze Matisse traveled to Antarctica. On the first day, the guide took him and his group to a remote area and left them alone for an hour to commune with the pristine air and unearthly stillness. After a while, a penguin ambled up and launched into a ceremonial display of squawks and stretches. Firenze responded with recitals of his favorite memorized poems, imagining he was "engaged in a conversation with eternity." Halfway through his inspired performance of Thich Nhat Hanh's "Please Call Me by My True Names," the penguin sent a stream of green projectile vomit cascading against his chest, and shuffled away.

Though Firenze initially felt deflated by eternity's surprise, no harm was done. He soon came to see it as a first-class cosmic joke, and looked forward to exploiting its value as an amusing story with which to regale his friends back home.

Beauty and Truth Laboratory researcher Michael Logan was the first person to hear Firenze's tale upon his return from Antarctica. "You might want to consider this, Firenze," Michael mused after taking it all in. "Penguins nurture their offspring by chewing food—mixing it up with all God's enzymes—and then vomiting it into the mouths of the penguin babies. Perhaps you weren't the butt of a cosmic joke or some Linda Blair-esque bad review, but in fact the recipient of a very precious gift of love. Who knows?"

Now Firenze has two punch lines for his tale of redemptive pronoia.

♏ SCORPIO

(October 23-November 21)

"Love her but leave her wild," advised a graffiti artist who published his thoughts on a wall next to the mirror in a public restroom I visited. Another guerrilla philosopher had added a comment below: "That's a nice sentiment, but how can anyone retain wildness in a society that puts so many demands on us in exchange for money to live?" Since I happened to have a felt-tip pen with me, I scrawled a response to the question posed in the second comment: "Be in nature every day. Move your body a lot. Remember and work with your dreams. Be playful. Have good sex. Infuse any little thing you do with a creative twist. Hang out with animals. Eat with your fingers. Sing regularly." And that's also my message for you, Scorpio, during this phase when it's so crucial for you to nurture your wildness.

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How's your fight for freedom going? Are you making progress in liberating yourself from your unconscious obsessions, bad habits, and conditioned responses? For assistance and inspiration, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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The 17th-century surgeon Wilhelm Hilden had an interesting theory about healing. He developed a medicinal salve that he applied not to the wound itself but rather to the weapon that inflicted it. Though today we may sneer at such foolishness, the fact is that Hilden's approach has great potential if used for psychic wounds. Jesus understood this when he articulated the revolutionary formula, "Love your enemy." More than any other action, this strategy has the power to cure you of the distortions your enemy has unleashed in you. Try it out.

♐ SAGITTARIUS

(November 22-December 21)

"Don't worry, even if things get heavy, we'll all float on." So sings Modest Mouse's vocalist Isaac Brock on the band's song "Float On." I recommend you try that approach yourself, Sagittarius. Things will no doubt get heavy in the coming days. But if you float on, the heaviness will be a good, rich, soulful heaviness. It'll be a purifying heaviness that purges any glib or shallow influences that are in your vicinity. It'll be a healing heaviness that gives you just the kind of graceful gravitas you will need.

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Assume that your drive to experience pleasure isn't a barrier to your spiritual growth, but is in fact essential to it. Proceed on the hypothesis that cultivating joy can make you a more ethical and compassionate person. Imagine that feeling good has something important to teach you every day. For inspiration in practicing this approach, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Cancer cells are constantly developing in our bodies. Luckily, our immune systems routinely kill them off. Similarly, our minds always harbor pockets of crazy-making misconceptions and faulty imprints. They usually don't rise up and render us insane thanks to the psychic versions of our immune systems.

How can you stay strong in your ability to fight off sickness and madness? You know the drill: Eat healthy food, sleep well, get physical exercise, minimize stress, give and receive love. But as an aspiring pronoiac, you have at your disposal other actions that can provide powerful boosts to your immune system. Here are examples:

Scheme to put yourself in the path of beautiful landscapes, buildings, art, and creatures.

Exercise your imagination regularly. Get in the habit of feeding your mind's eye images that fill you with wonder and vitality.

Eliminate uhs, you knows, I means, and other junk words from your speech. Avoid saying things you don't really mean and haven't thought out. Stop yourself when tempted to make scornful assertions about people.

Every night before you fall asleep, review the day's activities in your mind's eye. As if watching a movie about yourself, try to be calmly objective as you observe your memories from the previous 16 hours. Be especially alert for moments when you strayed from your purpose and didn't live up to your highest standards.

With a companion, sit in front of a turned-off TV as you make up a pronoiac story that features tricky benevolence, scintillating harmony, and amusing redemption. Speak this tale aloud or write it down.

Take on an additional job title, beautifier. Put it on your business card and do something every day to cultivate your skill. If you're a people person, bring grace and intrigue into your conversations; ask unexpected questions that provoke original thoughts. If you're an artist, leave samples of your finest work in public places. If you're a psychologist or sociologist, point out the institutions and relationships that are working really well. Whatever you do best, be alert for how you can refine it and offer it up to those who'll benefit from it.

If you're going through a phase when you feel you have nothing especially beautiful to offer, or if you think it would be self-indulgent to inject your own aesthetic into shared environments, turn for help to great artists and thinkers. Sneak O'Keeffe or Chagall prints onto unadorned walls in public places, for instance. Memorize poems by Rilke and Hafiz, and slip them into your conversations when appropriate. Program your cell phone so that its ring is Vivaldi's Stabat Mater in C Minor. Scrawl passages from Annie Dillard's Teaching a Stone to Talk on the walls of public lavatories.

♑ CAPRICORN

(December 22-January 19)

"What I look for in a friend is someone who's different from me," says science fiction novelist Samuel Delany. "The more different the person is, the more I'll learn from him. The more he'll come up with surprising takes on ideas and things and situations." What about you, Capricorn? What are the qualities in a friend that help you thrive? Now is a perfect time to take an inventory. I sense that although there are potential new allies wandering in your vicinity, they will actually become part of your life only if you adjust and update your attitudes about the influences you value most.

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"Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show." So begins Charles Dickens' novel David Copperfield. I'd like to inspire you to write a story of your own that begins like that. For help, tune into your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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What if the Creator is like Rainer Maria Rilke's God, "like a webbing made of a hundred roots, that drink in silence"? What if the Source of All Life inhabits both the dark and the light, heals with strange splendor as much as with sweet insight, is hermaphroditic and omnisexual? What if the Source loves to give you riddles that push you past the boundaries of your understanding, forcing you to deepen your perceptions and change the way you think about everything? Close your eyes and imagine you can sense the presence of this tender, marvelous, difficult, entertaining intelligence.

♒ AQUARIUS

(January 20- February 18)

At the turn of the 19th century, Russian laborers constructed thousands of miles of railroad tracks from the western part of the country eastward to Siberia. The hardest part of the job was blasting tunnels through the mountains that were in the way. I reckon you're at a comparable point in your work, Aquarius. It's time to smash gaping holes through obstacles. Don't scrimp or apologize. Clear the way for the future.

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I invite you to keep a running list of all the ways life delights you and helps you and energizes you. Describe everyday miracles you take for granted . . . the uncanny powers you possess . . . the small joys that occur so routinely you forget how much they mean to you . . . the steady flow of benefits bestowed on you by people you know and don't know. What works for you? What makes you feel at home in the world? For inspiration in this noble effort, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Pronoia is the antidote for paranoia. It’s the understanding that the universe is fundamentally friendly. It’s a mode of training your senses and intellect so you’re able to perceive the fact that life always gives you exactly what you need, exactly when you need it. Are you interested in becoming a wildly disciplined, fiercely tender, scrupulously curious, aggressively sensitive, lyrically logical, lustfully compassionate Master of Rowdy Bliss? Act as if the universe is a prodigious miracle created for your amusement and illumination. Assume that secret helpers are working behind the scenes to assist you in turning into the gorgeous masterpiece you were born to be.

♓ PISCES

(February 19-March 20)

The British rock band the Animals released their gritty, growly song "The House of the Rising Sun" in 1964. It reached the top of the pop music charts in the U.S., Canada, U.K., and Australia, and was a hit with critics. Rolling Stone magazine ultimately ranked it as the 122nd greatest song of all time. And yet it took the Animals just 15 minutes to record. They did it in one take. That's the kind of beginner's luck and spontaneous flow I foresee you having in the coming weeks, Pisces. What's the best way for you to channel all that soulful mojo?

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All of creation loves you very much. Even now, people you know and people you don't know are collaborating to make sure you have all you need to make your next smart move. But are you willing to start loving life back with an equal intensity? The adoration it offers you has not exactly been unrequited, but there is room for you to be more demonstrative. For help in cultivating this approach, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Rainer Maria Rilke: "For one human being to love another is the most difficult task of all. It’s the work for which all other work is mere preparation."
Teilhard de Chardin: "Someday after we have mastered the winds, the waves, and gravity, we will harness for God the energies of love; and then for a second time in the history of the world, human beings will have discovered fire."
Leo Tolstoy: "Love is life. All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I love. Everything is, everything exists, only because I love."
Blaise Pascal: "If you do not love too much, you do not love enough."
Emily Dickinson: "Until you have loved, you cannot become yourself."

Listen to Rob's Expanded Audio Horoscopes, updated weekly.

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