In 1979, Monty Python comedian John Cleese helped direct a four-night extravaganza, The Secret Policeman's Ball. It was a benefit to raise money for the human rights organization Amnesty International. The musicians known as Sting, Bono, and Peter Gabriel later testified that the show was a key factor in igniting their social activism. I see the potential of a comparable stimulus in your near future, Aries. Imminent developments could amp up your passion for a good cause that transcends your immediate self-interests.

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You can still listen to my three-part, in-depth explorations of your long-range destiny. What hidden factors will be massaging your destiny in 2015? Could you use some hints about how to prepare for the adventures awaiting you in the next 12 months?

To access the Expanded Audio Horoscopes, register and/or sign in on the main page, and then click on the link "Long Range Prediction." (Choose from Part 1, Part 2, or Part 3.) A new short-term forecast for this week is also available.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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More and more creative people find they do their best work when they're feeling healthy and secure. We know writers who no longer need to be drunk or in agony in order to shed the numbness of their daily routine and tap into the full powers of their imagination. We have filmmaker friends whose best work flows not from the depths of alienated self-doubt but rather from the heights of well-earned bliss. Singer-songwriter P.J. Harvey is the patron saint of this new breed. "When I'm contented, I'm more open to receiving a lot of inspiration," she has testified. "I'm most creative when I feel safe and happy."

In the film Kill Bill: Volume 1, Taurus actress Uma Thurman plays a martial artist who has exceptional skill at wielding a Samurai sword. At one point, her swordmaker evaluates her reflexes by hurling a baseball in her direction. With a masterful swoop, she slices the ball in half before it reaches her. I suggest you seek out similar tests in the coming days, Taurus. Check up on the current status of your top skills. Are any of them rusty? Should you update them? Are they still of maximum practical use to you? Do whatever's necessary to ensure they are as strong and sharp as ever.

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You can still listen to my three-part, in-depth explorations of your long-range destiny. What will be the story of your life in 2015? How can you exert your free will to create the adventures that'll bring out the best in you, even as you find graceful ways to cooperate with the tides of destiny?

To access the Expanded Audio Horoscopes, register and/or sign in on the main page, and then click on the link "Long Range Prediction." (Choose from Part 1, Part 2, or Part 3.) A new short-term forecast for this week is also available.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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The sage and her student were standing by a pool discussing longing and ambition.

"What do you want more than anything else?" the sage asked.

"To perfect my ability to love all of creation the way I love myself," the young man replied.

At that moment, the sage tackled the student and shoved his head beneath the water. Accustomed to letting his teacher shape the unpredictable contours of his education, he did not resist.

One minute went by. Then another. The student began to struggle and kick. His teacher was strong.

Finally she released her grip and the student surfaced, fighting for breath.

"What did you want more than anything else during these last few minutes?" the sage inquired.

"Nothing else was in my mind except the desire for air," gasped the student.

"Excellent," beamed the sage. "As soon as you are equally single-minded in your desire to perfect your ability to love all of creation the way you love yourself, you will achieve your goal."

French Impressionist painter Claude Monet loved to paint the rock formations near the beach at Étretrat, a village in Normandy. During the summer of 1886, he worked serially on six separate canvases, moving from one to another throughout his work day to capture the light and shadow as they changed with the weather and the position of the sun. He focused intently on one painting at a time. He didn't have a brush in each hand and one in his mouth, simultaneously applying paint to various canvases. His specific approach to multitasking would generate good results for you in the coming weeks, Gemini. (P.S. The other kind of multitasking -- where you do several different things at the same time -- will yield mostly mediocre results.)

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You can still listen to my three-part, in-depth explorations of your long-range destiny. Do you really know how much power you have to create the life you want to live in 2015? Probably not. But I'd like to help you know about that power, and tap into it.

To access the Expanded Audio Horoscopes, register and/or sign in on the main page, and then click on the link "Long Range Prediction." (Choose from Part 1, Part 2, or Part 3.) A new short-term forecast for this week is also available.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Go to the ugliest or most forlorn place you know--a drugstore parking lot, the front porch of a crack house, a toxic waste dump, or the place that symbolizes your secret shame--and build a shrine devoted to beauty, truth, and love.

Here are some suggestions about what to put in your shrine: a silk scarf; a smooth rock on which you've inscribed a haiku or joke with a felt-tip pen; coconut cookies or ginger candy; pumpkin seeds and an origami crane; a green kite shaped like a dragon; a music CD you love; a photo of your hero; a votive candle carved with your word of power; a rubber ducky; a bouquet of fresh beets; a print of Van Gogh's "Starry Night."

In 1849, author Edgar Allan Poe died in his hometown of Baltimore. A century later, a mysterious admirer began a new tradition. Every January 19, on the anniversary of Poe's birth, this cloaked visitor appeared at his grave in the early morning hours, and left behind three roses and a bottle of cognac. I invite you, Cancerian, to initiate a comparable ritual. Can you imagine paying periodic tribute to an important influence in your own life -- someone who has given you much and touched you deeply? Don't do it for nostalgia's sake, but rather as a way to affirm that the gifts you've received from this evocative influence will continue to evolve within you. Keep them ever-fresh.

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You can still listen to my three-part, in-depth explorations of your long-range destiny. What are your plans for the coming year? Could you use some more help mapping out your dreams and schemes in 2015?

To access the Expanded Audio Horoscopes, register and/or sign in on the main page, and then click on the link "Long Range Prediction." (Choose from Part 1, Part 2, or Part 3.) A new short-term forecast for this week is also available.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Late at night when there's no traffic, stride down the middle of an empty road that by day is crawling with cars. Dance, careen, and sing songs that fill you with pleasurable emotions. Splay your arms triumphantly as you extemporize prayers in which you make extravagant demands and promises. Give pet names to the trees you pass, declare your admiration for the workers who made the road, and celebrate your sovereignty over a territory that usually belongs to heavy machines and their operators.

"What happens to a dream deferred?" asked Langston Hughes in his poem "Harlem." "Does it dry up like a raisin in the sun? Or fester like a sore -- And then run? Does it stink like rotten meat? Or crust and sugar over -- like a syrupy sweet?" As your soul's cheerleader and coach, Leo, I hope you won't explore the answer to Hughes' questions. If you have a dream, don't defer it. If you have been deferring your dream, take at least one dramatic step to stop deferring it.

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You can still listen to my three-part, in-depth explorations of your long-range destiny. Who do you want to become in 2015? Where do you want to go and what do you want to do? I'm ready to help you muse about the interesting possibilities.

To access the Expanded Audio Horoscopes, register and/or sign in on the main page, and then click on the link "Long Range Prediction." (Choose from Part 1, Part 2, or Part 3.) A new short-term forecast for this week is also available.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Contrary to what some translations of the Bible say, it won't be the meek who shall inherit the earth. On the other hand, the arrogant power mongers won't collect the legacy either. Neither the indecisive wimps nor the acquisitive bullies will contribute much to creating the New World.

Who, then, will inherit the earth? What kind of human beings are best-equipped to thrive in the evolving game of life? We say it will be the well-disciplined pleasure-seekers who are in vigorous dialogue with their own dark sides, who balance the masculine and feminine aspects of their natures, and who master the fine arts of working at their play and playing at their work.

Assume our definition has some validity for you. What would you have to do to become more like one of the inheritors of the earth?

Virgo author John Creasey struggled in his early efforts at getting published. For a time he had to support himself with jobs as a salesman and clerk. Before his first book was published, he had gathered 743 rejection slips. Eventually, though, he broke through and achieved monumental success. He wrote more than 550 novels, several of which were made into movies. He won two prestigious awards and sold 80 million books. I'm not promising that your own frustrations will ultimately pave the way for a prodigious triumph like his. But in the coming months, I do expect significant progress toward a gritty accomplishment. For best results, work for your own satisfaction more than for the approval of others.

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You can still listen to my three-part, in-depth explorations of your long-range destiny. What new influences will be headed your way in 2015? What fresh resources will you be able to draw on? Would you like some guidance as you figure out how to make best use of those influences and resources?

To access the Expanded Audio Horoscopes, register and/or sign in on the main page, and then click on the link "Long Range Prediction." (Choose from Part 1, Part 2, or Part 3.) A new short-term forecast for this week is also available.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Dear Beauty and Truth Lab: Can you tell me why my trivial prayers are often answered (please don't let the light turn red, please let there be enough milk for one cup of coffee, etc.), but never my big life-changing prayers (please send me a soul mate, please help me make money at what I love to do)? Are God's priorities screwed up, or is it me? - Dumb Luck Collector

Dear DLC: There's an old fairy tale in which two old folks are given three wishes by a magic dwarf, but impulsively waste them on the first silly whims that pop into their heads. I'll tell you what I would have told them: Proceed on the assumption that only a few of your fervent prayers will be granted. Don't use them up on pleas for convenience when you're tired, cranky, or desperate. A Tibetan proverb says, "The person who gets stuck on petty happiness will not attain great happiness."

Hall-of-Fame basketball player Hakeem Olajuwon had a signature set of fancy moves that were collectively known as the Dream Shake. It consisted of numerous spins and fakes and moves that could be combined in various ways to outfox his opponents and score points. The coming weeks would be an excellent time for you to work on your equivalent of the Dream Shake, Libra. You're at the peak of your ability to figure out how to coordinate and synergize your several talents.

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You can still listen to my three-part, in-depth explorations of your long-range destiny. How can you conspire with life in 2015 to create the best possible future for yourself? What well-informed and ingenious approaches can you use to get the most out of the raw materials you're presented with?

To access the Expanded Audio Horoscopes, register and/or sign in on the main page, and then click on the link "Long Range Prediction." (Choose from Part 1, Part 2, or Part 3.) A new short-term forecast for this week is also available.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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DEFINITION: Pronoia is the antidote for paranoia. It's the understanding that the universe is fundamentally friendly. It's a mode of retraining your senses and intellect so you're able to perceive that life always gives you exactly what you need, exactly when you need it.

HYPOTHESES: Evil is boring. Cynicism is idiotic. Fear is a bad habit. Despair is lazy. Joy is fascinating. Love is an act of heroic genius. Pleasure is our birthright. Receptivity is a superpower.

PROCEDURE: Act as if the universe is a prodigious miracle created for your amusement and illumination. Assume that secret helpers are working behind the scenes to assist you in turning into the gorgeous masterpiece you were born to be. Join the conspiracy to shower all of creation with blessings.

In 1837, Victoria became Queen of England following the death of her uncle, King William IV. She was 18 years old. Her first royal act was to move her bed out of the room she had long shared with her meddling, overbearing mother. I propose that you use this as one of your guiding metaphors in the immediate future. Even if your parents are saints, and even if you haven't lived with them for years, I suspect you would benefit by upgrading your independence from their influence. Are you still a bit inhibited by the nagging of their voices in your head? Does your desire to avoid hurting them thwart you from rising to a higher level of authority and authenticity? Be a good-natured rebel.

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You can still listen to my three-part, in-depth explorations of your long-range destiny. As you dive in to 2015, would you like to clarify your purpose? Are there fantasies playing at the back of your mind that you'd like to bring fully into your awareness?

To access the Expanded Audio Horoscopes, register and/or sign in on the main page, and then click on the link "Long Range Prediction." (Choose from Part 1, Part 2, or Part 3.) A new short-term forecast for this week is also available.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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"The secret of life," said sculptor Henry Moore to poet Donald Hall, "is to have a task, something you devote your entire life to, something you bring everything to, every minute of the day for your whole life. And the most important thing is--it must be something you cannot possibly do." What is that task for you?

The crookedest street in the world is a one-way, block-long span of San Francisco's Lombard Street. It consists of eight hairpin turns down a very steep hill. The recommended top speed for a car is five miles per hour. So on the one hand, you've got to proceed with caution. On the other hand, the quaint, brick-paved road is lined with flower beds, and creeping along its wacky route is a whimsical amusement. I suspect you will soon encounter experiences that have metaphorical resemblances to Lombard Street, Sagittarius. In fact, I urge you to seek them out.

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You can still listen to my three-part, in-depth explorations of your long-range destiny. What will be the story of your life in 2015? Are you ready to shed your superstitious fears about the future? Would you like to slip into the coming year armed with an influx of confidence and poise?

To access the Expanded Audio Horoscopes, register and/or sign in on the main page, and then click on the link "Long Range Prediction." (Choose from Part 1, Part 2, or Part 3.) A new short-term forecast for this week is also available.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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With luck and persistence, you will be able to claim the rewards promised you at the beginning of time -- not just any old beauty, wisdom, goodness, love, freedom, and justice, but rather exhilarating beauty that incites you to be true to yourself; crazy wisdom that immunizes you against the temptation to believe your ideals are ultimate truths; outrageous goodness that inspires you to experiment with boisterous empathy; generous freedom that keeps you alert for opportunities to share your wealth; insurrectionary love that endlessly transforms you; and a lust for justice that's leavened with a knack for comedy, keeping you honest as you work humbly to liberate everyone in the world from ignorance and suffering.

In the baseball film The Natural, the hero Roy Hobbs has a special bat he calls "Wonderboy." Carved out of a tree that was split by a lightning bolt, it seems to give Hobbs an extraordinary skill at hitting a baseball. There's a similar theme at work in the Australian musical instrument known as the didgeridoo. It's created from a eucalyptus tree whose inner wood has been eaten away by termites. Both Wonderboy and the didgeridoo are the results of natural forces that could be seen as adverse but that are actually useful. Is there a comparable situation in your own life, Capricorn? I'm guessing there is. If you have not yet discovered what it is, now is a good time to do so.

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You can still listen to my three-part, in-depth explorations of your long-range destiny. What new influences will be headed your way in 2015? What fresh resources will you be able to draw on? How can you make best use of these influences and resources?

To access the Expanded Audio Horoscopes, register and/or sign in on the main page, and then click on the link "Long Range Prediction." (Choose from Part 1, Part 2, or Part 3.) A new short-term forecast for this week is also available.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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"You can get a feel on Kaho'olawe of what it was like to live on Hawaii at the time of our ancestors," says Native Hawaiian Davianna McGregor. "We can practice our traditions there without it being a tourist attraction. It's one place we can go to be in communion with our natural life forces."
Each of us has a personal version of Kaho'olawe: a part of our psyche that has been stolen or colonized by hostile forces. To grow bolder in exploring pronoia, you'll need to take back yours.

In 1753, Benjamin Franklin published helpful instructions on how to avoid being struck by lightning during stormy weather. Wear a lightning rod in your hat, he said, and attach it to a long, thin metal ribbon that trails behind you as you walk. In response to his article, a fashion fad erupted. Taking his advice, fancy ladies in Europe actually wore such hats. From a metaphorical perspective, it would make sense for you Aquarians to don similar headwear in the coming weeks. Bolts of inspiration will be arriving on a regular basis. To ensure you are able to integrate and use them -- not just be titillated and agitated -- you will have to be well-grounded.

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You can still listen to my three-part, in-depth explorations of your long-range destiny. Do you understand just how much power you have to create the life you want to live in 2015? Are you fully aware of just how much access you have to new resources?

To access the Expanded Audio Horoscopes, register and/or sign in on the main page, and then click on the link "Long Range Prediction." (Choose from Part 1, Part 2, or Part 3.) A new short-term forecast for this week is also available.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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I'm allergic to dogma. I thrive on riddles. Any idea I believe, I reserve the right to disbelieve as well. But more than any other vision I've ever tested, pronoia describes the way the world actually is. It's wetter than water, stronger than death, and truer than the news. It smells like cedar smoke in the autumn rain, and if you close your eyes right now, you can feel it shimmering like the aurora borealis in your organs and muscles. Its song is your blood's song.

Some people argue that life is strife and suffering is normal. Others swear we're born sinful and only heaven can provide us with the peace that passes understanding. But pronoia says that being alive on this rough green and brown planet is the highest honor and privilege. It's an invitation to work wonders and perform miracles that aren't possible in any nirvana, promised land, or afterlife.

I'm not exaggerating or indulging in poetic metaphor when I tell you that we are already living in paradise. Visualize it if you dare. The sweet stuff that quenches all of our longing is not far away in some other time and place. It's right here and right now.

Poet Elizabeth Barrett Browning knew the truth: "Earth's crammed with heaven."

According to the Bible, Jesus said, "You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." Author David Foster Wallace added a caveat. "The truth will set you free," he wrote, "but not until it is finished with you." All this is apropos for the current phase of your journey, Pisces. By my estimation, you will soon discover an important truth that you have never before been ready to grasp. Once that magic transpires, however, you will have to wait a while until the truth is fully finished with you. Only then will it set you free. But it will set you free. And I suspect that you will ultimately be grateful that it took its sweet time.

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You can still listen to my three-part, in-depth explorations of your long-range destiny. Would you like some inspiration as you muse and wonder about your upcoming adventures in 2015? Do you long to slip out of your habitual thoughts about your life and get a more transcendent view?

To access the Expanded Audio Horoscopes, register and/or sign in on the main page, and then click on the link "Long Range Prediction." (Choose from Part 1, Part 2, or Part 3.) A new short-term forecast for this week is also available.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Quoting geneticists, Guy Murchie says we're all family. You have at least a million relatives as close as tenth cousin, and no one on Earth is any farther removed than your 50th cousin.

Murchie also describes our kinship through an analysis of how deeply we share the air. With each breath, you take into your body 10 sextillion atoms, and--owing to the wind's ceaseless circulation--over a year's time you have intimate relations with oxygen molecules exhaled by every person alive, as well as by everyone who ever lived. Right now you may be carrying atoms that were once inside the lungs of Malcolm X, Christopher Columbus, Joan of Arc, and Cleopatra.