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Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny

Week of September 11th, 2014


(October 23-November 21)
According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you Scorpios are currently the sign of the zodiac that is least likely to be clumsy, vulgar, awkward, or prone to dumb mistakes. On the other hand, you are the most likely to derisively accuse others of being clumsy, vulgar, awkward, or prone to dumb mistakes. I recommend that you resist that temptation, however. In the coming week, it is in your selfish interests to be especially tactful and diplomatic. Forgive and quietly adjust for everyone's mistakes. Don't call undue attention to them or make them worse. Continue to build your likeability and fine-tune your support system.


I hope the oracle above provides you with the inspiration you need to do what you've got to do and change what needs to be changed. But if you need more clues, listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE, where I go further in exploring your mysteries.


SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
In certain Native American traditions, the hole was a symbol for the female genitalia, through which souls enter this realm. In American scientific lore, a wormhole is a backdoor shortcut between two places in space separated by an astronomical distance. In my personal mythos, those are my two favorite nuances in the archetype of the hole.

When I was a kid I loved to fantasize that I'd obtained a magic hole like the one Bugs Bunny had in the comic books. It was a portable hole that Bugs could take with him everywhere and apply to any barrier he needed to slip through. Once he even managed to slap it up against the sky, giving him access to another dimension where the whole world was inside him, not outside. (Or was that a dream I had?)

What would you do with your portable magic hole?