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Horoscopes by Rob Brezsny


Week of August 7th, 2014

♈ ARIES

(March 21-April 19)
Don't just be smart and articulate, Aries. Dare to be wildly wise and prone to unruly observations. Don't merely be kind and well-behaved. Explore the mysteries of healing through benevolent mischief. Don't buy into the all-too-serious trances. Break up the monotony with your unpredictable play and funny curiosity. Don't simply go along with the stories everyone seems to believe in as if they were the Truth and the Way. Question every assumption; rebel against every foregone conclusion; propose amusing plot twists that send the narratives off on interesting tangents.

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Want to explore this chapter of your life story even further? Dig deeper? Push harder? Consider tuning in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPES.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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"Love is being stupid together," said French poet Paul Valery. While there's a grain of truth to that, it's too corny and decadent for my tastes. I prefer to focus on a more interesting truth, which is this: Real love is being smart together. If you weave your destiny together with another's, he or she should catalyze your sleeping potentials, sharpen your perceptions, and boost both your emotional and analytical intelligence. Your relationship becomes a crucible in which you deepen your understanding of the way the world works.

Give an example of your closest approach to this model in your own life. Then formulate a vow in which you promise you'll do what's necessary to more fully embody the principle "Love is being smart together."

♉ TAURUS

(April 20-May 20)
Breve orazione penetra is an old Italian idiom. Its literal translation is "short prayers pierce" or "concise prayers penetrate." You can extrapolate from that to come up with the meaning that "God listens best to brief prayers." In the coming week, I invite you to apply this idea whenever you ask for anything, whether you are seeking the favors of the Divine Wow or the help of human beings. Know exactly what you want, and express it with no-nonsense succinctness.

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You're got more strength and intelligence than you realize. For help in accessing those untapped inner resources, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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"For a relationship to stay alive," writes James Hillman, "love alone is not enough. Without imagination, love stales into sentiment, duty, boredom. Relationships fail not because we have stopped loving but because we first stopped imagining."

Make this your hypothesis. The next time you sense that you're about to say the same old thing to your closest ally, interrupt yourself and head off in the direction of storyland.

♊ GEMINI

(May 21-June 20)
Every February, you go through a phase when it's easier to see the big picture of your life. If you take advantage of this invitation, your experience is like being on a mountaintop and gazing into the vastness. Every August, on the other hand, you are more likely to see the details you have been missing. Transformations that have been too small and subtle to notice may become visible to you. If you capitalize on this opportunity, the experience is like peering through a microscope. Here's a third variation, Gemini: Around the full moons of both February and August, you may be able to alternately peer into the microscope and simulate the view from a mountaintop. I think that's about to happen.

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How are you going to change what needs to be changed and accept what needs to be accepted? To get some support from me, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Would you like to make yourself more magnetic to blessings? You could experiment with good luck charms or magic amulets -- objects that you imagine might attract benevolence into your life. How about a replica of Brísingamen, the magical necklace of the Norse goddess Freya? When she wore it, neither man nor god could resist her allure. Or maybe a copy of the thyrsus, a wand wielded by Dionysus, the god of ecstasy? Or the bracelet of meteorite chunks I saw advertised as a luck-bringer in the back of a tabloid?

As fun as things like these might be, I believe there's a superior approach to the art of charging up your mojo. It's embodied by the metaphorical talisman that Tom Waits recommends in his song "Get Behind the Mule": Always keep a diamond in your mind.

Go get one of those diamonds.

♋ CANCERIAN

(June 21-July 22)
You wouldn't sip dirty water from a golden chalice. Am I right? Nor would you swig delicious poison from a fine crystal wine glass or ten-year-old vinegar from a queen's goblet. I'm sure you will agree that you'd much rather drink a magical elixir from a paper cup, or a rejuvenating tonic from a chipped coffee mug, or tasty medicine out of a kids' plastic soup bowl you bought at the thrift store. Don't you dare lie to yourself about what's best for you.

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Sometimes it's a challenge to try to figure out what's important and what's not important. If you'd like more of my input, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Butterflies, moths, hummingbirds, and bats love to drink the nectar that flowers offer. In return, these pollinators are expected to get some pollen stuck on their bodies and carry it away to fertilize other plants.

While the nectar is tasty, it's usually not pure sweetness. If it were, the first pollinator to come along would suck it all dry, leaving nothing for further visitors. And that wouldn't be good from the plant's point of view, because it would limit the number of places where its pollen would be disseminated.

To keep nectar-drinking sessions short, therefore, most plants include a touch of bitterness in the blend.

♌ LEO

(July 23-August 22)
Every 12 years, the planet Jupiter spends about a year cruising through the sign of Leo. It's there with you now, and will be with you through early August, 2015. What can you expect? EXPANSION! That's great, right? Yes and no. You might love to have some parts of your life expand; others, not so much. So I suggest you write down your intentions. Say something like this: "I want Jupiter to help me expand my faith in myself, my power to do what I love, and my ability to draw on the resources and allies I need. Meanwhile, I will prune my desires for things I don't really need and cut back on my involvement with things that don't inspire me. I don't want those to expand."

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How well is your imagination working these days? Could it use a boost? A prod? A jolt of inspiration? Try tuning in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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"The Eskimos had 52 names for snow because it was important to them," wrote novelist Margaret Atwood. "There ought to be as many for love."

Here are a few that the ancient Greeks devised, according to Lindsay Swope in her review of Richard Idemon's book Through the Looking Glass.

Epithemia is the basic need to touch and be touched. Our closest approximation is "horniness," though epithemia is not so much a sexual feeling as a sensual one.

Philia is friendship. It includes the need to admire and respect your friends as a reflection of yourself—like in high school, where you want to hang out with the cool kids because that means you're cool too.

Eros isn't sexual in the way we usually think, but is more about the emotional gratification that comes from merging souls.

Agape is a mature, utterly free expression of love that has no possessiveness. It means wanting the best for another person even if it doesn't advance your self-interest.

Your assignment is to coin three additional new words for love, which means you'll have to discover or create three alternate states of love that have previously been unnamed. To do that, you'll have to put aside your habitual expectations and standard definitions of what constitutes love so that you can explore an array of nuances, including varieties you never imagined existed.

♍ VIRGO

(August 23-September 22)
TV comedian Stephen Colbert confesses that his safeword is "pumpkin patch." Does that mean he participates in actual BDSM rituals? Is it the codeword he utters when he doesn't want the intensity to rise any further, when he doesn't want his next boundary crossed? I don't know. Perhaps he's simply joking or speaking metaphorically. Whether or not you engage in literal BDSM, Virgo, there's an aspect of your life right now that has metaphorical resemblances to it. And I suggest that you do the equivalent of using your safeword very soon. Nothing more can be gained from remaining embroiled in your predicament. Even if the ordeal has been interesting or educational up until now, it won't be for much longer. Escape your bondage.

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Want more clues? Need further insight? For more evocative questions and pithy suggestions about your unfolding destiny, check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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A common obstruction to a vital intimate relationship is what I call the assumption of clairvoyance. You imagine, perhaps unconsciously, that your partner or friend is somehow magically psychic when it comes to you -- so much so that he or she should unfailingly intuit exactly what you need, even if you don't ask for it. This fantasy may seem romantic, but it can sink the most promising alliances.

To counteract any tendencies you might have to indulge in the assumption of clairvoyance, practice stating your desires aloud.

♎ LIBRA

(September 23-October 22)
If you're planning to hurl a thunderbolt, make sure you are all warmed up and at full strength before you actually unleash it. It would be sad if you flung a half-assed thunderbolt that looked like a few fireflies and sounded like a cooing dove. And please don't interpret my wise-guy tone here as a sign that I'm just kidding around. No, Libra. This is serious stuff. Life is offering you opportunities to make a major impression, and I want you to be as big and forceful and wild as you need to be. Don't tamp down your energy out of fear of hurting people's feelings. Access your inner sky god or sky goddess, and have too much fun expressing your raw power.

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How much do you want to know about your life? How far do you dare to go in your quest for self-mastery? For more insight into your intriguing fate, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Write the following on a piece of red paper and keep it under your pillow. "I, [put your name here], do solemnly swear on this day, [put date here], that I will devote myself for a period of seven days to learning my most important desire. No other thought will be more uppermost in my mind. No other concern will divert me from tracking down every clue that might assist me in my drive to ascertain the one experience in this world that deserves my brilliant passion above all others."

♏ SCORPIO

(October 23-November 21)
In your dreams you may travel to Stockholm, Sweden to accept the Nobel Prize or to Hollywood to pick up your Oscar. There's a decent chance that in your sleepy-time adventures you will finally score with the hot babe who rejected you back in high school, or return to the scene of your biggest mistake and do things right this time. I wouldn't be surprised if in one dream you find yourself riding in a gold chariot during a parade held in your honor. I'm afraid, however, that you will have to settle for less hoopla and glamour in your waking life. You will merely be doing a fantastic job at tasks you usually perform competently. You will be well-appreciated, well-treated, and well-rewarded. That's not so bad, right?

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Would you like to hear more about the hidden factors influencing your life? Do you want to uncover the secrets you've been hiding even from yourself? Listen to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Even if your heart's not exactly shattered at the moment, it has no doubt been so at some time in the past. I invite you to feel a wave of sadness about your suffering, then move on to this possibility: that having a broken heart is one of the best things that can happen to you.

Why? Because it strengthens your humility, which makes you smarter. It demonstrates to you that you have a tremendous capacity for deep feelings -- far more than you're normally aware of. It breaks down defense mechanisms that have desensitized you to the world's secret beauty. It may also inspire you to treat other people's hearts with greater care, making it more likely that you'll be able to create intelligent intimacy in the future.

♐ SAGITTARIUS

(November 22-December 21)
Lake Superior State University issues a "Unicorn Questing Privilege" to those people who are interested in hunting for unicorns. Are you one of them? I wouldn't be surprised if you felt an urge like that in the coming weeks. Unusual yearnings will be welling up in you. Exotic fantasies may replace your habitual daydreams. Certain possibilities you have considered to be unthinkable or unattainable may begin to seem feasible. Questions you have been too timid to ask could become crucial for you to entertain. (You can get your Unicorn Questing License here.)

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Do you wish you could get more clarity about the foggy, ambiguous situations you're dealing with? Want more help in exploring the Great Mystery that is your life? I discuss your coming week in greater depth in your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Compose and cast a love spell on yourself. There's no need to consult pagan books about how to proceed. It may even be better if you improvise homemade conjurations and incantations.

Be sure to formulate a clear intention of what you want to accomplish with your mojo. Example: "I want to make myself irresistibly lovable." For best results, stand naked in front of an altar crammed with magical objects that symbolize both lust and compassion.

♑ CAPRICORN

(December 22-January 19)
Your ethical code may soon be tested. What will you do if you see a chance to get away with a minor sin or petty crime that no one will ever find out about? What if you are tempted to lie or cheat or deceive in ways that advance your good intentions and only hurt other people a little bit or not at all? I'm not here to tell you what to do, but rather to suggest that you be honest with yourself about what's really at stake. Even if you escape punishment for a lapse, you might nevertheless inflict a wound on your integrity that would taint your relationship with your own creativity. Contemplate the pleasures of purity and righteousness, and use them to enhance your power.

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Do you want further explorations of the intriguing twists and turns of your personal evolution? Would you like help in solving the riddles that confuse you? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Bring the spirits of sampling and the mash-up into your relationship life. Sampling is what happens when a musician openly lifts a riff out of an existing song and inserts it into his or her own composition. In a mash-up, a producer takes parts from two different songs to assemble a new song that has elements of both originals but is an entirely new creation.

How might you apply these approaches to your collaborations with intimate allies? For example, you could "sample" a close friend's favorite catchphrases or clothes, and use them as your own. Or tell that person a story from his or her own past, but recount it as if it happened to you. The two of you could write a journal entry together, taking turns spinning out each new line. You might even switch roles for a day, trying out what it actually feels like to be the other person.

♒ AQUARIUS

(January 20- February 18)
"The thorn arms the roses," says an old Latin motto. The astrological omens suggest you'll be wise to muse on that advice in the coming weeks. How should you interpret it? I'll leave you to draw your own conclusions, of course, but here are a few hints. It may be that beauty needs protection, or at least buffering. It's possible that you can't simply depend on your sincerity and good intentions, but also need to infuse some ferocity into your efforts. In order for soft, fragile, lovely things to do what they do best, they may require the assistance of tough, strong, hearty allies.

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Need more help in figuring out the questions life is asking you? Crave more support in your efforts to build your courage? Check out your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Play the game called "Tell me the story of your scars." It's best to do it with a skilled empath who is curious about your fate's riddles and skilled at helping you find redemption in your wounds.

"How did you get that blotch on your knee?" he or she might begin, and you describe the time in childhood when you fell on the sidewalk. Then maybe he or she would say, "Why do you always look so sad when you hear that song?" And you'd narrate the tale of how it was playing when an old lover broke your heart. The questions and answers continue until you unveil the history of your hurts, both physical and psychic. Treat yourself to this game soon.

♓ PISCES

(February 19-March 20)
If you go to an American doctor to be treated for an ailment, odds are that he or she will interrupt you no more than 14 seconds into your description of what's wrong. But you must not tolerate this kind of disrespect in the coming days, Pisces -- not from doctors, not from anyone. You simply must request or, if necessary, demand the receptivity you deserve. If and when it's given, I urge you to speak your truth in its entirety. Express what has been hidden and suppressed. And this is very important: Take responsibility for your own role in any problems you discuss.

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What fresh blessings will life bring you? What questions should you be asking? To explore the ripening trends further, tune in to your EXPANDED AUDIO HOROSCOPE.

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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You understand that you can never own love, right? No matter how much someone adores you today, no matter how much you adore someone, you can't force that unique state of grace to keep its shape forever. It will inevitably evolve or mutate, perhaps into a different version of tender caring, but maybe not. From there it will continue to change, into either yet another version of interesting affection, or who knows what else?

Describe how you could get the hang of putting this tricky wisdom into practice.


Listen to Rob's Expanded Audio Horoscopes, updated weekly.



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