"I have complete faith in the continued absurdity of whatever's going on," says satirical news commentator Jon Stewart. That's a healthy attitude. To do his work, he needs a never-ending supply of stories about people doing crazy, corrupt, and hypocritical things. I'm sure this subject matter makes him sad and angry. But it also stimulates him to come up with funny ideas that entertain and educate his audience -- and earns him a very good income. I invite you to try his approach, Aries. Have faith that the absurdity you experience can be used to your advantage.

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Here's a gathering of all the Big-Picture horoscopes I've written for you this year. Check to see if they're relevant to the way your destiny has been evolving so far in 2014.

You can also still hear a LONG-TERM AUDIO PREVIEW for the REST of 2014 and beyond. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2014." If you'd just like a report for the short-term, click on "This week (July 15, 2014)."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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The primary meaning of the word "healing" is "to cure what's diseased or broken." Medical practitioners focus on sick people. Philanthropists donate their money and social workers contribute their time to helping the underprivileged. Psychotherapists wrestle with their clients' traumas and neuroses. I'm in awe of them all. The level of one's spiritual wisdom, I believe, is more accurately measured by helping people in need than by meditation skills, shamanic shapeshifting, supernatural powers, or esoteric knowledge.

But I also believe in a second kind of healing that is largely unrecognized: to supercharge what is already healthy; to lift up what's merely sufficient to a sublime state. Using this definition, describe two acts of healing: one you would enjoy performing on yourself and another you'd like to provide for someone you love.

Bananas grow in Iceland, a country that borders the Arctic Ocean. About 700 of the plants thrive in a large greenhouse heated by geothermal energy. They don't mature as fast as the bananas in Ecuador or Costa Rica. The low amounts of sunlight mean they require two years to ripen instead of a few months. To me, this entire scenario is a symbol for the work you have ahead of you. You've got to encourage and oversee growth in a place that doesn't seem hospitable in the usual ways, although it is actually just fine. And you must be patient, knowing that the process might take a while longer than it would in other circumstances.

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Here's a gathering of all the Big-Picture horoscopes I've written for you this year. Check to see if they're relevant to the way your destiny has been evolving so far in 2014.

You can also still hear a LONG-TERM AUDIO PREVIEW for the REST of 2014 and beyond. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2014." If you'd just like a report for the short-term, click on "This week (July 15, 2014)."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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"Creativity is like driving a car at night," said E. L. Doctorow. "You never see further than your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way." I would add that life itself is like driving a car at night. You're often in the dark except for what's right in front of you. At least that's usually the case.

But for a few shining hours sometime this week, I predict you'll be able to see the big picture of where you're headed. It will be as if the whole world is suddenly illuminated by a prolonged burst of light; as if you're both driving your car and also watching your your journey from high above. Write about what you see.

While at a cafe, I overheard two people at the next table talking about astrology. "I think the problem-solvers of the zodiac are Cancers and Capricorns," said a young, moon-faced woman. "Agreed," said her companion, an older woman with chiseled features. "And the problem-creators are Scorpios and Geminis." I couldn't help myself: I had to insert myself into their conversation so as to defend you. Leaning over toward their table, I said, "Speaking as a professional astrologer, I've got to say that right now Geminis are at least temporarily the zodiac's best problem-solvers. Give them a chance to change your minds." The women laughed, and moon-face said, "You must be a Gemini." "No," I replied. "But I'm on a crusade to help Geminis shift their reputations."

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Here's a gathering of all the Big-Picture horoscopes I've written for you this year. Check to see if they're relevant to the way your destiny has been evolving so far in 2014.

You can also still hear a LONG-TERM AUDIO PREVIEW for the REST of 2014 and beyond. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2014." If you'd just like a report for the short-term, click on "This week (July 15, 2014)."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Imagine that the whole world belongs to you. The birch trees in New Hampshire's White Mountains are yours, and so are the cirrus clouds in the western sky at dusk and the black sand on the beaches of Hawaii's Big Island. You own everything, my dear sovereign -- the paintings in all the museums of the world, as well as the Internet and the wild horses and the eight-lane highways.

Please take good care of it all, OK? Be an enlightened monarch who treats your domain with reverent responsibility. And make sure you also enjoy the full measure of fun that comes with such mastery. Glide through life as if all of creation is yearning to honor and entertain you.

Mozart debuted his now-famous opera Don Giovanni in Prague on October 29, 1787. It was a major production, featuring an orchestra, a chorus, and eight main singers. Yet the composer didn't finish writing the opera's overture until less than 24 hours before the show. Are you cooking up a similar scenario, Cancerian? I suspect that sometime in the next two weeks you will complete a breakthrough with an inspired, last-minute effort. And the final part of your work may well be its "overture;" the first part will arrive last. (P.S.: Mozart's Don Giovanni was well-received, and I expect your offering will be, too.)

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Here's a gathering of all the Big-Picture horoscopes I've written for you this year. Check to see if they're relevant to the way your destiny has been evolving so far in 2014.

You can also still hear a LONG-TERM AUDIO PREVIEW for the REST of 2014 and beyond. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2014." If you'd just like a report for the short-term, click on "This week (July 15, 2014)."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Here's an experiment worth trying: Don't try to analyze the Great Mystery. Instead, be the Great Mystery. Don't go with the Flow; be the Flow. Don't struggle and strain to put yourself in harmony with the Creative Surge of the Divine Wow. Be the Creative Surge of the Divine Wow.

"We must learn to bear the pleasures as we have borne the pains," says writer Nikki Giovanni. That will be apt advice for you to keep in mind during the coming months, Leo. You may think I'm perverse for suggesting such a thing. Compared to how demanding it was to manage the suffering you experienced in late 2013 and earlier this year, you might assume it will be simple to deal with the ease and awakening that are heading your way. But I'd like you to consider the possibility that these blessings will bring their own challenges. For example, you may need to surrender inconveniences and hardships you have gotten used to, almost comfortable with. It's conceivable you will have to divest yourself of habits that made sense when you were struggling, but are now becoming counterproductive.

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Here's a gathering of all the Big-Picture horoscopes I've written for you this year. Check to see if they're relevant to the way your destiny has been evolving so far in 2014.

You can also still hear a LONG-TERM AUDIO PREVIEW for the REST of 2014 and beyond. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2014." If you'd just like a report for the short-term, click on "This week (July 15, 2014)."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Jungian analyst Arnold Mindell explores the relationship between mind and body. He thinks you can achieve optimal physical health if you're devoted to shedding outworn self-images. In his book The Shaman's Body, he says, "You have one central lesson to learn -- to continuously drop all your rigid identities. Personal history may be your greatest danger."

Kate Bornstein, author of Gender Outlaw: On Men, Women and the Rest of Us, agrees. Raised as a boy, she later became a woman, but ultimately renounced gender altogether. "I love being without an identity," she says. "It gives me a lot of room to play around."

What identities would be healthy, even ecstatic, for you to lose? Describe the fun you'd have if you were free of them.

I would hate for your fine mind to become a liability. As much as I admire your native skepticism and analytical intelligence, it would be a shame if they prevented you from getting the full benefit of the wonders and marvels that are brewing in your vicinity. Your operative motto in the coming days comes from Virgo storyteller Roald Dahl: "Those who don't believe in magic will never find it." Suspend your disbelief, my beautiful friend. Make yourself receptive to the possibility of being amazed.

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Here's a gathering of all the Big-Picture horoscopes I've written for you this year. Check to see if they're relevant to the way your destiny has been evolving so far in 2014.

You can also still hear a LONG-TERM AUDIO PREVIEW for the REST of 2014 and beyond. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2014." If you'd just like a report for the short-term, click on "This week (July 15, 2014)."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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"You can't wait for inspiration," proclaimed writer Jack London. "You have to go after it with a club." That sounds too violent to me, though I agree in principle that aggressiveness is the best policy in one's relationship with inspiration.

Try this: Don't wait for inspiration. Go after it with a butterfly net, lasso, sweet treats, fishing rod, court orders, beguiling smells, and sincere flattery.

Kris Kristofferson is in the Country Music Hall of Fame now, but it took a while for him to launch his career. One of his big breaks came at age 29 when he was sweeping floors at a recording studio in Nashville. He managed to meet superstar Johnny Cash, who was working there on an album. A few years later, Kristofferson boldly landed a helicopter in Cash's yard to deliver his demo tape. That prompted Cash to get him a breakthrough gig performing at the Newport Folk Festival. I wouldn't be surprised if you were able to further your goals with a similar sequence, Libra: luck that puts you in the right place at the right time, followed by some brazen yet charming acts of self-promotion.

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Here's a gathering of all the Big-Picture horoscopes I've written for you this year. Check to see if they're relevant to the way your destiny has been evolving so far in 2014.

You can also still hear a LONG-TERM AUDIO PREVIEW for the REST of 2014 and beyond. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2014." If you'd just like a report for the short-term, click on "This week (July 15, 2014)."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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I invite you to become a rapturist, which is the opposite of a terrorist: Conspire to unleash blessings on unsuspecting recipients, causing them to feel good.

Before bringing your work as a rapturist to strangers, practice with two close companions. Offer them each a gift that fires up their ambitions. It should not be a practical necessity or consumer fetish, but rather a provocative tool or toy. Give them an imaginative boon they've been hesitant to ask for, a beautiful thing that expands their self-image, a surprising intervention that says, "I love the way you move me."

In her poem "Looking Back," Sarah Brown Weitzman writes that she keeps "trying to understand / how I fell / so short of what I intended / to do with my life." Is there a chance that 30 years from now you might say something similar, Scorpio? If so, take action to ensure that outcome doesn't come to pass. Judging from the astrological omens, I conclude that the next ten months will be a favorable time to get yourself on track to fulfill your life's most important goals. Take full advantage!

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Here's a gathering of all the Big-Picture horoscopes I've written for you this year. Check to see if they're relevant to the way your destiny has been evolving so far in 2014.

You can also still hear a LONG-TERM AUDIO PREVIEW for the REST of 2014 and beyond. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2014." If you'd just like a report for the short-term, click on "This week (July 15, 2014)."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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What is the holiest river in the world? Some might say the Ganges in India. Others would propose the Jordan River or the River Nile. But I say the holiest river is the one that's closest to where you are right now.

Go to that river and commune with it. Throw a small treasure into it as an offering. Next, find a holy sidewalk to walk on, praise the holiness in a bus driver, kiss a holy tree, and shop at a holy store.

"There is no such thing as a failed experiment," said author and inventor Buckminster Fuller, "only experiments with unexpected outcomes." That's the spirit I advise you to bring to your own explorations in the coming weeks, Sagittarius. Your task is to try out different possibilities to see where they might lead. Don't be attached to one conclusion or another. Be free of the drive to be proven right. Instead, seek the truth in whatever strange shape it reveals itself. Be eager to learn what you didn't even realize you needed to know.

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Here's a gathering of all the Big-Picture horoscopes I've written for you this year. Check to see if they're relevant to the way your destiny has been evolving so far in 2014.

You can also still hear a LONG-TERM AUDIO PREVIEW for the REST of 2014 and beyond. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2014." If you'd just like a report for the short-term, click on "This week (July 15, 2014)."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Are other people luckier than you? If so, psychologist Richard Wiseman says you can do something about it. His book The Luck Factor presents research that proves you can learn to be lucky. It's not a mystical force you're born with, he says, but a habit you can develop. How? For starters, be open to new experiences, trust your gut wisdom, expect good fortune, see the bright side of challenging events, and master the art of maximizing serendipitous opportunities.

Name three specific actions you'll try in order to improve your luck.

Architects in ancient Rome used concrete to create many durable structures, some of which are still standing. But the recipe for how to make concrete was forgotten for more than a thousand years after the Roman Empire collapsed in the fifth century. A British engineer finally rediscovered the formula in 1756, and today concrete is a prime component in many highways, dams, bridges, and buildings. I foresee a similar story unfolding in your life, Capricorn. A valuable secret that you once knew but then lost is on the verge of resurfacing. Be alert for it.

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Here's a gathering of all the Big-Picture horoscopes I've written for you this year. Check to see if they're relevant to the way your destiny has been evolving so far in 2014.

You can also still hear a LONG-TERM AUDIO PREVIEW for the REST of 2014 and beyond. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2014." If you'd just like a report for the short-term, click on "This week (July 15, 2014)."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Is the world a dangerous, chaotic place with no inherent purpose, running on automatic like a malfunctioning machine and fundamentally inimical to your happiness? Or are you surrounded by helpers in a friendly universe that gives you challenges in order to make you smarter and wilder and kinder and trickier? Trick questions! The answers may depend, at least to some degree, on what you believe is true.

Formulate a series of experiments that will allow you to objectively test the hypothesis that the universe is conspiring to help you.

Beginning in 1798, European cartographers who drew maps of West Africa included the Mountains of Kong, a range of peaks that extended more than a thousand miles east and west. It was 90 years before the French explorer Louis Gustave Binger realized that there were no such mountains. All the maps had been wrong, based on faulty information. Binger is known to history as the man who undiscovered the Mountains of Kong. I'm appointing him to be your role model in the coming weeks, Aquarius. May he inspire you to expose long-running delusions, strip away entrenched falsehoods, and restore the simple, shining truths.

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Here's a gathering of all the Big-Picture horoscopes I've written for you this year. Check to see if they're relevant to the way your destiny has been evolving so far in 2014.

You can also still hear a LONG-TERM AUDIO PREVIEW for the REST of 2014 and beyond. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2014." If you'd just like a report for the short-term, click on "This week (July 15, 2014)."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Entomologist Justin O. Schmidt drew up an index to categorize the discomfort caused by stinging insects. The attack of the bald-faced hornet is "rich, hearty, slightly crunchy. Similar to getting your hand mashed in a revolving door." A paper wasp delivers pain that's "caustic and burning," with a "distinctly bitter aftertaste. Like spilling a beaker of hydrochloric acid on a paper cut." The sweat bee, on the other hand, can hurt you in a way that's "light, ephemeral, almost fruity. A tiny spark has singed a single hair on your arm."

In bringing this to your attention, I want to inspire the pronoiac rebel in you. Your homework is to create an equally nuanced and precise index of three experiences that feel really good.

In the simplest, calmest of times, there are two sides to every story. On some occasions, however, the bare minimum is three or more sides. Like now. And that can generate quite a ruckus. Even people who are normally pretty harmonious may slip into conflict. Fortunately for all concerned, you are currently at the peak of your power to be a unifying force at the hub of the bubbling hubbub. You can be a weaver who takes threads from each of the tales and spins them into a narrative with which everyone can abide. I love it when that happens! For now, your emotional intelligence is the key to collaborative creativity and group solidarity.

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Here's a gathering of all the Big-Picture horoscopes I've written for you this year. Check to see if they're relevant to the way your destiny has been evolving so far in 2014.

You can also still hear a LONG-TERM AUDIO PREVIEW for the REST of 2014 and beyond. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2014." If you'd just like a report for the short-term, click on "This week (July 15, 2014)."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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"Two chemicals called actin and myosin evolved eons ago to allow the muscles in insect wings to contract and relax," writes Deepak Chopra in The Book of Secrets. "Today, the same two proteins are responsible for the beating of the human heart."

If you use your imagination, you can sense the connection between the flight of a dragonfly and the intelligent organ that renews its commitment to keeping you alive every second of your life. So use your imagination.