The weeks preceding your birthday are often an excellent time to engage the services of an exorcist. But there's no need to hire a pricey priest with dubious credentials. I can offer you my expert demon-banishing skills free of charge. Let's begin. I call on the spirits of the smart heroes you love best to be here with us right now. With the help of their inspirational power, I hereby dissolve any curse or spell that was ever placed on you, even if it was done inadvertently, and even if it was cast by yourself. Furthermore, the holy laughter I unleash as I carry out this purification serves to expunge any useless feelings, delusional desires, bad ideas, or irrelevant dreams you may have grown attached to. Make it so! Amen and hallelujah!

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Here's a gathering of all the Big-Picture horoscopes I've written for you this year. Check to see if they're relevant to the way your destiny has been evolving. You can also still hear a LONG-RANGE AUDIO PREVIEW for the REST of 2014 and beyond. Sign up and/or log in here, then click on "Long-Term Forecast for Second Half of 2014." If you'd just like a report for the short-term, click on "This week (July 8, 2014)."

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SACRED ADVERTISEMENT. The oracle below is excerpted from my book PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings.
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Late at night when there's no traffic, stride down the middle of an empty road that by day is crawling with cars. Dance, careen, and sing songs that fill you with pleasurable emotions. Splay your arms triumphantly as you extemporize prayers in which you make extravagant demands and promises. Give pet names to the trees you pass, declare your admiration for the workers who made the road, and celebrate your sovereignty over a territory that usually belongs to heavy machines and their operators.